Dogmas of the Catholic church about Mary:
Virgin Birth: Jesus was born of a virgin.
Immaculate Conception: Mary was born without original sin, essentially born saved, so that she could give birth to Jesus without giving him original sin.
Perpetual Virginity: She stayed a virgin all her life, and Joseph agreed to support this calling on her life by abstaining along with her so she could be faithful to God's call as Jesus' mom.
Ascension into Heaven: Mary ascended like Jesus did, she did not die.
I covered the first two before. Now lets finish out the second half of the list.
Perpetual Virginity
This Catholic Dogma presents Joseph as sort of submitting, like a Western man might think of it, to give up the Western "masculine sex-right" to honor Mary's alleged call form God.
Joseph was Jewish, as Mary was.
Jewish view of sexuality:
Sex between a husband and wife is a mitzvah, which is a lot like our word sacrament. It is a commandment, and a meritorious or charitable act.
Jewish people link sexuality in marriage with holiness, so this dogma states that they served God by violating His rules for their lives as married people. From the Jewish Virtual Library:
"Sex is the woman's right, not the man's. A man has a duty to give his wife sex regularly and to ensure that sex is pleasurable for her. He is also obligated to watch for signs that his wife wants sex, and to offer it to her without her asking for it. The woman's right to sexual intercourse is referred to as onah, and is one of a wife's three basic rights (the others are food and clothing), which a husband may not reduce. The Talmud specifies both the quantity and quality of sex that a man must give his wife. It specifies the frequency of sexual obligation based on the husband's occupation, although this obligation can be modified in the ketubah (marriage contract). A man may not take a vow to abstain from sex for an extended period of time, and may not take a journey for an extended period of time, because that would deprive his wife of sexual relations. In addition, a husband's consistent refusal to engage in sexual relations is grounds for compelling a man to divorce his wife, even if the couple has already fulfilled the halakhic obligation to procreate.
Although sex is the woman's right, she does not have absolute discretion to withhold it from her husband. A woman may not withhold sex from her husband as a form of punishment, and if she does, the husband may divorce her without paying the substantial divorce settlement provided for in the ketubah."
To us Westerner's that might sound gross, or perverse, but it is the Jewish way going far, far back to ancient times. The mitzvah of procreation is a separate one, the pleasure and bonding aspect is also sacred in Judaism, not just procreation.
If you told our very beloved, Jewish, Mother of God the dogma that she responded to God's call by staying a virgin after she was married, this would have been, to her ears, bordering on blasphemy/sacrilege. It would mean that God called her and Joseph to sin, basically. To be married and abstain the whole time is, for them, about as bad as doing stuff when you are not married. It's on par with adultery, as we know it, and grounds for divorce.
A marriage counselor, Earl Henslin, who has worked with many Jewish couples wrote in Chapter 2 of This is Your Brain on Love that no matter how bad things are in their marriages, it does not get into their bedroom. Why? "I am not going to have sex with my spouse" is like saying "I am not going to pray." He writes, "It is unthinkable," because they link marital sexuality with holiness.
Mary was Jewish. Mary was married. Therefore, Mary had three basic rights Joseph was supposed to provide: food, shelter and sex. I don't think it will kill anyone to live without it, but still, they were Jewish, and that was and is Jewish teaching.
Matthew 1:24-25. "...he took her [Mary] as his wife, but had no marital relations with her until she had born a son; and he named him Jesus."
That word "until" is two Greek words:
heos Strong's #2193 Definitions: of uncertain affinity; a conjunction, preposition and adverb of continuance, until (of time and place): - even (until, unto), (as) far (as), how long, (un-) til (-l), (hither-, un-, up) to, while (-s).
hou Strong's #3757 Definitions: generic of (3739) as adverb; at which place, i.e. where: - where (-in), whither ([-soever]).
It seems to indicate a span of time terminating at a given point. The point given in this case is the birth of Jesus. The necessity of abstinence was over then, Jesus did not need her to abstain anymore. Since she was a godly, Jewish, married woman, she had a different requirement for holy living than she did as the single or merely betrothed woman that she was when He was conceived. Nothing happened between them until after he was born, no doubt. After he was born, they clearly carried on with the mitzvah ordained by God for married people, since that is what they were. If they did not, they would have been less holy, not more. This mitzvah is not inextricably tied to procreation in Judaism either, so not having any (surviving?) children at Jesus' death does not really mean anything either.
The dogma of Perpetual virginity does not make any sense, given that Mary was Jewish, as Joseph also was.
Do I believe that Early Christians believed this? Absolutely. Many of them came from pagan cultures that had practices that could put extreme ideas about virginity in their heads. Old ideas sometimes die really hard, or don't die at all. However, that does not mean God would actually have called two Jewish people to live like that. These are very definitely pagan ideas, not sanctioned or created by YHVH.
Finally, Mary is an example to us. If she remained a virgin until married, and waited even longer because of carrying Jesus, but carried out God's intent for married women after he was born, then she is a great example. An ideal.
If she went through life pretending to be a good wife before the world while not living or relating in that important relationship like she was supposed to, refraining from a commanded and meritous behavior (mitzvah means a command, and a charitable or meritous act), then she is a bad example to follow, and so not much of a saint. Right? I believe the Catholic Church has attempted to be very true to the beginings, but this is a point where the pagan ways were not left behind, and Mary would likely be very upset by this story.
Assumption into Heaven
I would need more information. I think it is possible, kind of like Enoch and Elijah. I have no certainty at this point though, since I already see evidence of the early church projecting things onto Mary that seemed great to them but could not be true (e.g. Perpetual Virginity). Therefore, I really don't know. It sounds good, but that isn't enough for me...
This song has always been really cool to me. Now that I am studying and thinking about Mary more, it means even more than it ever did, with or without Immaculate conception or Perpetual Virginity. So Hail, Mary, full of grace.
Godspeed.
~ M. S.
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