Things I Did Not Used to Know About the Rosary

It may be news to some that when the Rosary is prayed, with all its “Hail Mary's,” the meditations for it are various events in the Life of Jesus. Your mind is supposed to be on Jesus, not Mary. Father John told our class that the words are not really the point. They words are spoken to help you shut everything else out and focus on “The mysteries” which are key events in the life of Jesus from conception to Resurrection. The Hail Mary's are indeed inane repetitions, and that is because “Hail Mary's” aren't what the rosary supposed to be about. You're supposed to concentrate on “The Mysteries,” imagining like you were standing there seeing it, as vivid as possible, to make it really real to you. You start out saying the creed, like what the band Third Day put to music once, the object of the Rosary is to nourish one's faith in Jesus.
In light of that, I sort of understand why there are so many Hail Mary;s and the prayers to God are fewer. The ones to God are not supposed to be white noise you make to drown out your actual surroundings, and the Hail Mary's are. I still find it more effective, most of the time, to just say the verses that tell the story I am trying to imagine, though, or the Glory Be: “Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end, amen.” That prayer is included in the normal Rosary practice too, but not as much as the Hail Mary.
The original Catholic rosary was, in fact, recitation of Scripture. They said all of the Psalms. It went through a lot of changes over time. Even after it was pretty much in its present form, for a long time the mysteries stopped at the crucifixion, and within the last couple hundred years one of the Popes added “The Glorious Mysteries” about the resurrection and the coming of the Holy spirit and stuff. He was pointed out that Without the resurrection, all the rest would be powerless and meaningless. He was like, "Why are we stopping there?” I think that was a really good move. I expect the reason is was stopped at the crucifixion for so long is because it started as a recitation of the Psalms. There are 150 psalms. That 150 Psalms became 150 "Hail Marys", and there were 15 "mysteries" with ten "Hail Mary's" a piece.
The words coming out your mouth are the same, but the Mysteries you Meditate on are what will vary. They Mysteries are in groups of five,
 "The Joyful Mysteries - The Annunciation, which is when the Angel appears to Mary and lets her know God's plan,and she agrees to answer the call. The Visitation when Mary visited her cousin who was pregnant with John the Baptist and Elizabeth prophesied that Mary's baby was the Lord, The Nativity when Jesus is born in Bethlehem, the The Presentation at the temple when the prophetess Anna and the prophet Simon basically said "This is the Messiah, I can die in peace now that I've seen him.", and the Finding of Jesus in the Temple, when He said,"Didn't you know I needed to be about my Father's business?"
Then there are the Sorrowful Mysteries: The Agony in the Garden (Gethsemani), The Scourging at the Pillar, The Crowing with Thorns, The Carrying of the Cross, and The Crucifixion, When he was nailed and hung until He died.
Glorious Mysteries: The Resurrection, The Ascension, the Coming of the Holy Spirit, The Assumption (a Marian Dogma event), and the Coronation (which has to do with the Catholic interpretation of Revelation 12:1), In total, the Joyful Mysteries, The Sorrowful Mysteries,and the Glorious Mysteries  made 150 Hail Mary's, which when they first started doing the Rosary, was the 150 Psalms.
They added the five Lumious Mysteries,which are optional in 2002 according to the suggestion of Pope (Saint) John Paul II.
The Luminous Mysteries are: The Baptism of the Lord, when the Holy spirit came down in the form of a dove and the voice came from heaven saying Jesus was God's son. The Wedding at Cana when He turned water into wine. The proclamation of the Kingdom, when He began his ministry and went out saying "Repent, the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand,"and went around healing the sick and the demonized. The Transfiguration, And The Institution of the Eucharist, when he said,at Passover "This is my body... this is my blood..."
Therefore now, if you go through all of the Mysteries in one sitting, which would mean going around all the Rosary beads four times, you will now say 200 Hail Marys. Usually, you only do 50 though, because most people just go through one set of five mysteries every time they say it.

So that is what the Rosary is about, and all those Hail Mary's. I personally, do not use the Hail Mary very much, even when I say the Rosary, but that is a story for another day.
I will say, on the note of personal testimony, that I do have a greater sense of God's presence in my life and usually do better at resisting various besetting sins in my life when I pray the Rosary fairly frequently, like about every day.

Godspeed.

~Mother Star

What I Have Learned About Mary

What I have learned about Mary.

Mary was, of course, Jesus' mom. One of the worst things that can happen to someone is to lose their kids and in her case, she didn't just lose him, she saw him crucified. That's a horrible way to die. She really went through a lot in her walk with God and in her obedience to God's call to be Jesus' mom.

Therefore,  I can believe the doctrine that Mary was assumed into heaven like Elijah and Enoch. Having him grow inside her would have created quite a bond, plus going through seeing the crucifixion. Neither Elijah nor Enoch could have suffered quite like her, or had opportunity to be that close to the Lord and develop so unique a relationship with the Lord as Mary. Therefore, once I think about it, I would actually find it harder to believe that she wasn't Assumed into heaven than that she was. There is no grave, anymore than there is a record of her rapture. Its something one has to just pray about and decide what they believe. Either way, its taken on faith. Once I considered it, it takes more faith for me to continue to  believe she wasn't. The only thing challenging about it for me is that it is a totally new concept to me.

As to the perpetual virginity, I didn't accept that for a long time because for a Jewish woman, that would have been like God giving somebody some radical "special grace" never to pray again! Sex in marriage is a Miztvah, in Judaism. Its like a sacrament is to Catholics and Lutherans and Orthodox and all the other liturgical churches... Its connected to holiness and is a part of participating in the life of faith - if one is married. Then my friend Mike who is an ordained Protestant minister and was studying the Orthodox church told me about a book called the Evangelion. Its written by James, the (step) Brother of Jesus. The book had used to be bound with it, and the Orthodox church still holds it sacred, although its not canonized as actual scripture as far as I know. Its Sacred in that it gives important historical insights and context and eyewitness testimony of things like the virgin birth and such. "Sola Scriptura" - scripture alone, was a Luther thing. The older churches all have something called sacred tradition and other things that they use to interpret the bible, and count them as Sacred along with the Bible, since it's kind of hard to understand scripture correctly without it. James wrote that Mary was indeed a virgin when Jesus was conceived and born, and also for the rest of her life. James' mom had died. His dad was very old, and did not feel he should remarry since he was so old, especially not someone as young as Mary. He married her because it became very clear that God wanted him to, long story short.
The reason Jesus had to get somebody else, specifically John, to look after his mom after he went to the cross was because she had no other kids. He was her only son, her only child. He had step-siblings though. “Thy mother and thy brethren are looking for you” it was Mary and His step siblings. James probably wrote all that to give eyewitness testimony that Jesus was indeed born of a virgin and such like. None of the gospels are eye-witness accounts of that particular part. James said that Jesus was virgin-born, and that Mary stayed a virgin all her life. Mike says James hinted that his dad couldn't actually do anything to change that... Joseph was extremely uncomfortable with the idea of sleeping with her because God himself had lived inside her. That plus he was very old.
James' writings about family life with Jesus were typically bound with the Bible, I guess. In his research, Mike says he learned that Catholicism tossed James' accounts of Jesus upbringing and his family stuff when the King James Bible was made. There was a compromise between Catholics and Protestants on the KJV Bible since King James wanted to make a Bible everyone would accept in order to unify his country. Protestants wanted the Evangelion of James removed because it supported doctrine that they did not maintain. Mike never found anything challenging its authorship, just “We don't want it in there because it supports doctrine that we don't have.” Mike didn't believe in the perpetual virginity either, until he read that book. So now I do actually believe in it too.
Mike has since started a ministry that includes Orthodox, Messianic Jews, Catholics, and Protestant Christians and gets everybody working together to reach out. He says some pentecostal ministers he knows try and explain their discomfort saying, “The perpetual virginity isn't in the Bible.” Mike's like, “They basically used to be. They were removed in order to prevent anything support those doctrines. Its not that the doctrines were made-up with no support or apostolic testimony. People changed the doctrines, then removed the texts that supported the beliefs that they didn't accept.” I'm annoyed actually, because for example, atheists on facebook made an anti-Christian cartoon, showing a fundamentalist tearing into aspects of Darwin's theory that aren't rock-solid-proven, then they are asked if Jesus was born of a virgin and if so how do they know. They said, smiling, "Yes, absolutely, because somebody is said to have written something to confirm it, that we don't have."  The truth is, we did have it and some people (Orthodox churches) still do. it was thrown out of the Catholic church because of denominationalism, basically. The Vatican and King James and the Protestant leaders were trying to stop rioting and war between Christians. Its totally embarrassing and shameful, but that's basically how it unfolded as far as I can so far tell. :( Now, without the apostolic account that the doctrine is based on, catholic teaching on the subject has Joseph, of an unknown age, living in celibacy with his wife in order to support God's call on her life to stay pure forever in honor of Jesus having been carried in her body.
I can see bits of the truth in there, like Joseph was wigged out because God had lived in her womb, and he felt he might be defiling, possibly, if he consummated the marriage. But in the absence of the foundation, the story has gotten a bit warped. They removed it to compromise with Protestants though. Of course you'll not likely hear that from catholic catechists, but that's what happened as far as I know now.
My thought is, Joseph married Mary out of submission to the will of God, not on his own will. He was old and extremely nervous about being with her after she carried God in her body. He submitted to God to be Mary and Jesus' protector and provider, and thus supported Mary's calling to be Jesus' mother. If God wished for her to stay a virgin forever, He picked the right guy for that, too. The East and West remain divided partly because of those minute differences in their doctrines, but I don't think they're incompatible. Joseph submitted to God to marry Mary, it was God's will not his. The call of God on Mary's life plus possibly Joseph's great age, brought it about that she was a virgin all her life, like the Lord intended. Mike says she was in a religious vocation at the temple, much like  what we call a nun, but for some reason it was decided that she should marry, and when the will of God was sought as to who it should be, it became obvious that God wanted Joseph for the job. If there were vows involved in that vocation she had previously been in, she never had to break them... Long story short, I see the two doctrines as very compatible. The Orthodox church has a document of apostolic authorship to back its story, the Catholic church doesn't. So I am inclined to side with the East if an argument arises but really, I don't see them as being incompatible.
It was James' testimony, relayed to me through my friend, that made me believe in the perpetual virginity. 

That leaves the Immaculate conception. I don't have anything to support it, really. The Immaculate conception is not the belief that Mary never committed any sins, but that she was born without original sin in order to make a pure vessel to carry Jesus in. I guess I can see the thinking behind it, so it doesn't bother me like it used to would have, but obviously I don't have anything to support that. Belief is a choice here, and I don't think it takes more faith to believe it, but less, like Jesus would be contaminated if it weren't for Mary's Immaculate conception. Mary could be born without original sin form a mom who had it, but God himself couldn't. IT doesn't increase my faith to believe that. Its not that I need to exercise my faith to believe it is possible. I chose, based on the fact that God seemed to be calling me to the Catholic church, to try embracing this doctrine. It has not done anything to help my faith, really. If anything it weakens it. So I am putting this one back on the shelf and saying, "Maybe. But I don't think so." I won't completely rule it out, but I don't think it was necessary, and if anything, the opposite may have been, but again I am not completely sure of that either.

So, I have still come a long way from my previous position on the Marian dogmas, and for awhile I embraced all four, and at the moment I won't rule the fourth out, but I am not really on board with it that much.

~Mother Star

Adventures in RCIA - Catholics DO NOT worship the "Queen of Heaven"

Regardless of how this goes, whether I do get confirmed or not, I do want to clarify one more thing about Mary before I forget again.
"Queen of Heaven" does NOT mean to put St. Mary above, or on par with, God.
They say that in the Bible, the Isreali king's wife had to ask permission to come in, and bow, and do everything else the same way that others in the kingdom had to. The kind's mom on the other hand was the Queen Mother. She could walk right in and ask for something on somebody's behalf and pretty much expect it to get done. She definitely could not make decisions like the king, but held an awful lot of sway in his court.

Addressing Mary as Queen of Heaven is a reference to the ancient Isreali "Queen Mother" type of situation (though the term is not often used in the Bible) combined with the same beliefs behind "prayers" to saints. Look at 1 Kings 1:14-16, compared with 1 Kings 2:18-20. Bathsheba as King's wife versus Bathsheba as King's mom. That is where they get these notions about Mary. The term "Queen Mother" is not used but the idea they call "Queen Mother" is illustrated here, When they say that Mary sits at Jesus' right hand, it's because Bathsheba sat at Solomon's right hand. Therefore they infer that Jewish King's moms sat at their right hand and held a lot of influence. They think Mary has a position in Heaven kind of like Bathsheba had in Solomon's court, and is so very highly favored, throughout eternity.
 "Queen of Heaven" is not intended to revere Mary as a God(dess). I was really thrown by that "Queen of Heaven" reference a lot too, until it was explained. They also point to the story of turning Water into wine and say that Mary's intercession altered Jesus' decision about whether to do something about the wine shortage to demonstrate that she has the same degree of favor and her prayers have same impact as Bathsheba seems to have had in Solomon's court. They infer therefore that Prophet Priest and "King of the Jews" Jesus has the same setup in Heaven's court. That does not make her an actual ruler of Heaven, nor on par with God in Roman Catholic theology, though.

Personally, I am not sure I think the throne room in heaven works like the Isreali king's court did, just I know it resembles the temple/tabernacle Moses was ordered to set up and which foreshadowed Jesus' sacrifice and etc. The temple and the palace weren't the same thing. However, I understand the thinking, how they could think that way and say that. They are trying to keep with Jewish roots, and it may or may not have gone awry here, but at least no one need freak about idolatry. Not when it comes to an informed/educated Catholic anyway. Some people pay no better attention in catechism than some folks do in school, which is not much, and they walk out with weird ideas, I am told.


 


There are individuals who pray always to Mary and ask her to take everything to Jesus for them, but that is not required. There is a question of "Minimalism and Maximalism" concerning Mariology in the Catholic Church. The over-emphasis on Mary has been warned against by influential Catholics for centuries, but the opposite extreme is also warned against, and that is acting like she is no big deal at all or being too timid in presentation of her... well, basically what Protestants do.
So I hope I cleared that up for some people.
There are some prayers or songs I am not comfortable singing because I am uncomfortable saying the words in them to anyone but God. I rather doubt that Mary is offended by that, honestly, and these prayers are not required, as far as I know.

Godspeed.

~Mother Star

Adventures in RCIA - Mary the Mother of Jesus Pt 2

Continuing on this sticky (for me) subject...

Dogmas of the Catholic church about Mary:
Virgin Birth: Jesus was born of a virgin.
Immaculate Conception: Mary was born without original sin, essentially born saved, so that she could give birth to Jesus without giving him original sin.
Perpetual Virginity: She stayed a virgin all her life, and Joseph agreed to support this calling on her life by abstaining along with her so she could be faithful to God's call as Jesus' mom.
Ascension into Heaven: Mary ascended like Jesus did, she did not die.

I covered the first two before. Now lets finish out the second half of the list.

Perpetual Virginity
This Catholic Dogma presents Joseph as sort of submitting, like a Western man might think of it, to give up the Western "masculine sex-right" to honor Mary's alleged call form God.
Joseph was Jewish, as Mary was.
Jewish view of sexuality:
Sex between a husband and wife is a mitzvah, which is a lot like our word sacrament. It is a commandment, and a meritorious or charitable act.
Jewish people link sexuality in marriage with holiness, so this dogma states that they served God by violating His rules for their lives as married people. From the Jewish Virtual Library:
"Sex is the woman's right, not the man's. A man has a duty to give his wife sex regularly and to ensure that sex is pleasurable for her. He is also obligated to watch for signs that his wife wants sex, and to offer it to her without her asking for it. The woman's right to sexual intercourse is referred to as onah, and is one of a wife's three basic rights (the others are food and clothing), which a husband may not reduce. The Talmud specifies both the quantity and quality of sex that a man must give his wife. It specifies the frequency of sexual obligation based on the husband's occupation, although this obligation can be modified in the ketubah (marriage contract). A man may not take a vow to abstain from sex for an extended period of time, and may not take a journey for an extended period of time, because that would deprive his wife of sexual relations. In addition, a husband's consistent refusal to engage in sexual relations is grounds for compelling a man to divorce his wife, even if the couple has already fulfilled the halakhic obligation to procreate.
Although sex is the woman's right, she does not have absolute discretion to withhold it from her husband. A woman may not withhold sex from her husband as a form of punishment, and if she does, the husband may divorce her without paying the substantial divorce settlement provided for in the ketubah."
To us Westerner's that might sound gross, or perverse, but it is the Jewish way going far, far back to ancient times. The mitzvah of procreation is a separate one, the pleasure and bonding aspect is also sacred in Judaism, not just procreation.
If you told our very beloved, Jewish, Mother of God the dogma that she responded to God's call by staying a virgin after she was married, this would have been, to her ears, bordering on blasphemy/sacrilege. It would mean that God called her and Joseph to sin, basically. To be married and abstain the whole time is, for them, about as bad as doing stuff when you are not married. It's on par with adultery, as we know it, and grounds for divorce.
A marriage counselor, Earl Henslin, who has worked with many Jewish couples wrote in Chapter 2 of This is Your Brain on Love that no matter how bad things are in their marriages, it does not get into their bedroom. Why? "I am not going to have sex with my spouse" is like saying "I am not going to pray." He writes, "It is unthinkable," because they link marital sexuality with holiness.

Mary was Jewish. Mary was married. Therefore, Mary had three basic rights Joseph was supposed to provide: food, shelter and sex. I don't think it will kill anyone to live without it, but still, they were Jewish, and that was and is Jewish teaching.
Matthew 1:24-25. "...he took her [Mary] as his wife, but had no marital relations with her until she had born a son; and he named him Jesus."
That word "until" is two Greek words:
heos Strong's #2193 Definitions: of uncertain affinity; a conjunction, preposition and adverb of continuance, until (of time and place): - even (until, unto), (as) far (as), how long, (un-) til (-l), (hither-, un-, up) to, while (-s).
hou Strong's #3757 Definitions: generic of (3739) as adverb; at which place, i.e. where: - where (-in), whither ([-soever]).
It seems to indicate a span of time terminating at a given point. The point given in this case is the birth of Jesus. The necessity of abstinence was over then, Jesus did not need her to abstain anymore. Since she was a godly, Jewish, married woman, she had a different requirement for holy living than she did as the single or merely betrothed woman that she was when He was conceived. Nothing happened between them until after he was born, no doubt. After he was born, they clearly carried on with the mitzvah ordained by God for married people, since that is what they were. If they did not, they would have been less holy, not more. This mitzvah is not inextricably tied to procreation in Judaism either, so not having any (surviving?) children at Jesus' death does not really mean anything either.
The dogma of Perpetual virginity does not make any sense, given that Mary was Jewish, as Joseph also was.
Do I believe that Early Christians believed this? Absolutely. Many of them came from pagan cultures that had practices that could put extreme ideas about virginity in their heads. Old ideas sometimes die really hard, or don't die at all. However, that does not mean God would actually have called two Jewish people to live like that. These are very definitely pagan ideas, not sanctioned or created by YHVH.

Finally, Mary is an example to us. If she remained a virgin until married, and waited even longer because of carrying Jesus, but carried out God's intent for married women after he was born, then she is a great example. An ideal.
If she went through life pretending to be a good wife before the world while not living or relating in that important relationship like she was supposed to, refraining from a commanded and meritous behavior (mitzvah means a command, and a charitable or meritous act), then she is a bad example to follow, and so not much of a saint. Right? I believe the Catholic Church has attempted to be very true to the beginings, but this is a point where the pagan ways were not left behind, and Mary would likely be very upset by this story.

Assumption into Heaven
I would need more information. I think it is possible, kind of like Enoch and Elijah. I have no certainty at this point though, since I already see evidence of the early church projecting things onto Mary that seemed great to them but could not be true (e.g. Perpetual Virginity). Therefore, I really don't know. It sounds good, but that isn't enough for me...

This song has always been really cool to me. Now that I am studying and thinking about Mary more, it means even more than it ever did, with or without Immaculate conception or Perpetual Virginity. So Hail, Mary, full of grace.

Godspeed.
~ M. S.

Adventures in RCIA - Mary the Mother of Jesus Pt. 1

Ok, here is where it gets sticky for me...

Dogmas of the Catholic church about Mary:
Virgin Birth: Jesus was born of a virgin.
Immaculate Conception: Mary was born without original sin, essentially born saved, so that she could give birth to Jesus without giving him original sin.
Perpetual Virginity: She stayed a virgin all her life, and Joseph agreed to support this calling on her life by abstaining along with her so she could be faithful to God's call as Jesus' mom.
Ascension into Heaven: Mary ascended like Jesus did, she did not die.

Virgin Birth: I absolutely believe.
Isaiah 7:14 "Therefore the Lord himself shall give you a sign; Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel."

Matthew 1:23 "Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us."

Luke 1:26-42  "And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth, to a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name was Mary. And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women. And when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and cast in her mind what manner of salutation this should be. And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God. And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name Jesus. He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David:
And he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end. Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man? And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God. And, behold, thy cousin Elisabeth, she hath also conceived a son in her old age: and this is the sixth month with her, who was called barren. For with God nothing shall be impossible. And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her. And Mary arose in those days, and went into the hill country with haste, into a city of Juda; And entered into the house of Zacharias, and saluted Elisabeth. And it came to pass, that, when Elisabeth heard the salutation of Mary, the babe leaped in her womb; and Elisabeth was filled with the Holy Ghost: And she spake out with a loud voice, and said, Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb."

Immaculate Conception:
Why is it necessary? If she could come from a mom that had original sin, and supposedly not have it, why couldn't Jesus have the same miracle instead? Being "born saved" like this Dogma teaches, would also take away Mary's choice to be saved or not. Mary had a choice to accept carrying him, a choice to believe in him as the savior or not, and a chance to reject his plan of salvation - which may still not have been her expectation or plan, but she took it all as it came.
"Full of Grace" does not mean "without sin." I looked up "full of grace" in Greek, and asked a friend who had resources to study the word that I do not have to look it up too. Here is what we found:
G5487 χαριτόω / charitoō / From G5485 [see below]; to grace, that is, indue with special honor: - make accepted, be highly favoured.
G5485: χάρις / charis / From G5463 [see below]; graciousness (as gratifying), of manner or act (abstract or concrete; literal, figurative or spiritual; especially the divine influence upon the heart, and its reflection in the life; including gratitude): - acceptable, benefit, favour, gift, grace (-ious), joy liberality, pleasure, thank (-s, -worthy).
G5463: χαίρω / chairō / A primary verb; to be full of “cheer”, that is, calmly happy or well off; impersonal especially as a salutation (on meeting or parting), be well: - farewell, be glad, God speed, greeting, hail, joy (-fully), rejoice.

I totally see that there was divine favor, and grace to be able to do something. She would need an amazing fortitude to do all that she did, and only God could provide that. However I don't find it compelling evidence for lack of original sin or any such like. As far as the argument in the catechism video, "If you existed before your mother, and could make her any way you wanted, how would you make her?" It depends what your goal was in making this mother and coming into the world. One of the things we all have to deal with is growing up with imperfect parents. I surely don't think Mary was abusive, but what is the point of coming to walk our path with us and understand what we are going through (Heb 4:15) if you're going to spare yourself imperfect parenting? You can't identify with all our temptations if you spare yourself from a major test/temptation that is universal to the rest of humankind. If his mom had no original sin, it would negatively impact his ability to live in the world like we do, with imperfect and original-sin carrying parents.
I can see how being the spawn of the Holy spirit could alone protect Jesus from original sin. What would have caused that for Mary? Nothing.
This is not adding up...

While I deeply appreciate Mary and her gifts to the world through her obedience and sacrifice, I struggle a lot with some of the dogmas about her.

I wonder what she would think if she heard them...