NEVER! GIVE! UP! - The Need to Be Yourself

Well,today I worked at Wal-Mart, for a third party doing demonstrations and giving out samples. A temp service sent me there for just one day.

The need to be oneself can get buried in concerns about survival when competing for freelance or temporary or even permanent jobs. It's like, "Ok, what do they want me to be? All right then, how do I become that?" That's terrible. It's destructive. It's no way to live.
There are so many things I am interested in and would be pleased to do with my life. None of them pertain to handing out samples of grossly unhealthy food to strangers in a store run by a rather unethical corporation, dressed in what I consider to be "old lady clothes." That's what I did today, though.
I feel like I am perpetually in transition, like I take step after step and almost never got to anywhere I am going, or even any stops along the way. I have a lot of things in the works for increasing my income from self-employment to the point I do not have to do things like that anymore. The thing is they all take time, both in the sense of not becoming a full-time income overnight and in that they require HUGE amounts of time and effort to do anything at all. I am doing a little bit with a lot of things and need to be doing a lot with just a few things, and preferably just one thing. Choices,choices choices. Sometimes they can be hard to make.

Last night I realized I am afraid to pick something, lest it not be the right thing and lose the time I could have put into the right thing. That kind of decision making could keep me broke and temping indefinitely, if I let it. So I am narrowing it down, or taking steps to decide what is worth my time right now and what is not.

Writing is definitely going to be part of the things left standing, though I have no idea how much I dare narrow that down. I have pretty much stopped looking for gigs on Elance for now. Too much slave-labor on there to be worth the time and effort that could be invested better. I have a client who hired me on there months ago and has since contacted me for work on several other occasions.  I am writing something about health for her now, she basically sub-contracted the research part out to me. It is due tomorrow and I am trying to finish it tonight.

Never give up,that's all I can say. The devil fears those who won't give up. God is pleased with those who continue in faith, trusting Him to show them the way and to make the path straight.