Today's Worthwhile News Breaking: Westboro Baptitst Church founder's Daughter Goes Pro LGBT.

I was just talking to an elderly friend about polarization and pride in the church and politics earlier today.

My understanding is, the Westboro Baptist Church founder's daughter is pro LGBT now, because she began to see the evil that they did and the cruelty and inconsistency in their teachings. The worst part is, being taught about sexual morality from the likes of them will probably make it harder for her to ever see the truth right. There is always hope, but we really need to pray for her.

I did not watch the TED talk she did, but I read a synopsis someone posted in a group. I agree with the problems she's pointed out, and that gentleness is the way to solve most and maybe all of our problems. I also note however, that Adolph Hitler probably believed that 2+2 is 4. that doesn't make 2+2 something other than 4. Even if people are really really terrible, it doesn't mean EVERYTHING they believe is wrong. Something being delivered the way out of balance and completely the wrong way wrong way doesn't make it all wrong.

Something being handled the right way doesn't make it right, either.
People instinctively and unconsciously begin to adopt the mindsets and views of those who love them, who they depend on and have relationship with. she did it growing up, and she has done it as an adult because she is human. People reaching out to you doesn't guarantee that they are right in their views or their lifestyle or their interpretations, though.

 The only bad part is, if she is now doctrinally in favor of homosexuality, this is not going to do that much to remove the polarization, because it still reinforces the notion that to be gentle and listen (like James 1:5 clearly says to do) is equal to starting to justify sin. I've always said that nobody did more to advance the LGBT movement than Westboro Baptist Church. The older ones in the lgbt movement didn't think they'd live to see gay marriage be legal, I've read. Without WBC, I really doubt they would have. WBC makes some type of martyrs out of just about everybody, because they're so extremely mean. Evidently, the effects reach to the founders own children.

We need people who stick to their values *consistently* and humbly, and deliver it the right way. The enemy isn't going to work as hard to get people who do inadvertently justify sin to discredit themselves through bad behavior; he has something to gain if they don't. If they flip out just enough to provoke people who don't, and soften us up for his assaults on *our* conscience and character, then he is in ship shape. The people who justify sin start doing it with a good attitude, and the people who should be the balancing force go all unbalanced and off the deeper end. meanwhile the whole ship sinks that everybody of any philosophical position is on.

A nice big disaster for him.

We gotta break that pattern, like now. God, please send correction to your church, let her learn the lesson that this multi-faceted spiritual tragedy
teaches. Please let us all see the light and find the right way somehow.

Amen.

~Mother Star.
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It's Amazing What You Can Learn from a Song

Not everybody would expect to gain encouragement from a doom metal song.

But I did.

I don't typically discuss what I give up for lent, because it seems almost like either bragging or making too light of something that should seriously matter. The last two years,since I've bee practicing it, I gave up chocolate for lent. One I gave up heavy and dark music also. THAT was hard. Lent isn't supposed to about making yourself miserable though, its supposed to be about growing up, maturing on the inside. It's supposed to be a season of inner growth and of getting rid of things that need to go out of your life. I'm trying to give up pushing to hard and driving myself toward goals with too much obsession and fervor.

I'm in the middle of getting demoted, I think. I expect it anyway. I am not well enough to do this new job, my foot is killing me, I think I have bone spur, and it's being on feet 12 hours a day, on concrete. That on top of anxiety was a bad enough mix, my brain apparently got so flooded with cortisol (stress hormone), there were moments I couldn't even read. It feels like, yet again, growth has been thwarted, frost has come and killed off what I had growing.

I listened to this song, "The Arrival" by Skepticism, which I've heard a bunch of times before, yet I never really heard it like this. Lyrics as follows.

Skepticism

Arrived autumn
With a visit uninvited
And by chill slowly growing
With a lesson fully dreadful
And by message all displeasing

Then arrived autumn
With a growing understanding
And by vision slowly clearing
With belief calmly growing
And by readiness to embrace

Then arrived autumn
With unpleasant companion
And with frost overwhelming
With a lack of will to stand still
And with movement backwards drawing

Then arrived Autumn
Not the light of spring to follow
Nor a summer nor a winter
With autumn tints the forests glowing
And with leaves newly falling

Then arrived
I to visit uninvited
With a message to me ageless
Carrying the understanding
Year of autumns one to embrace

I listened to it several times, and realized what a wonderful message is in it, and how timely it is for me now. I never have given up on my dreams, but that shouldn't mean that everything I do is to get back what the frost has killed off. "Lack of will to stand still," boy can I relate. Like I said, I'm trying to give up pushing to hard for lent, because it's killing me, it is more often than not just driving me crazy. I need to enjoy the autumn, enjoy the time when things aren't going my way, when it seems like I'm going backwards.
It is good to not give up but I have to stop pushing for Spring to come in the middle of another season. Hating the frost that comes killing everything you're working on is understandable, but still try to at least enjoy the color in the trees. Embrace the season, even if it is winter. Accept the timing and wait for your Spring, whenever it comes. That's what I shall try to do for lent and, hopefully, thereafter.

Godspeed.

~Mother star.

To Christians With Same Sex Attractions

One of my old crushes was doing a radio interview today. Melissa Etheridge has a new album out, all covers of 50's and early 60's tunes, and older blues tunes. I had forgotten entirely about that. Obviously, the radio interview didn't cause me to start going all crazy or anything, but it reminded me of another time... Then I remembered other crushes like that. I was almost afraid that remembering would bring it back, which it didn't, but that reminded me of the torment that so often goes with that kind of temptation. You're always afraid it will be triggered, and that you will feel terrible while you sit there with whatever positive chemicals God made for romance flooding your system at the same time. it is very confusing. And awful. I can understand why people would want to just give up.
I wanted to give up. But I didn't. And now I'm talking about the whole thing in the past tense, as I have been for a long time.

A post someone made in a facebook group I am in:
"The Book of Romans chapters 5 through 8 are very powerful. Ask the Holy Spirit to intercede and guide you through the scripture readings. For the scripture is Spiritual and communicates with our Spirit."
When I was walking through it I read those a lot. I didn't think it was helping that much,only a little. but i think it kept feeding me and i kept on growing.

Abraham waited decades for his answer to prayer, and I remember thinking I didn't want to have to do that, but I told myself it didn't matter, my life and my being was God's and if for some reason he would make me wait that long i would do so. I bet Abraham wanted to spend his youth running and playing and wrestling with his kid. He didn't get that, but he did still get the kid.
It was definitely not that longfor me.It was years but not decades. Also I have found since that more healing is needed of the wounds that made it possible for me to be tempted that way. I am still healing, but I have still been walking free, as in, without any same sex attractions and in my case also having opposite sex attractions, for along time despite those wounds. Don't get discouraged by seeing a new pile of wounds you never realized you had that need healing. It doesn't absolutely guarantee a delay in your answer. However, having the wounds exposed may still be part of God's work in freeing you...

Its like a metaphor Corrie ten Boom used to use: she showed a cross-stitch she was doing and showed the back side, which looked a mess. she said "Life is like a weaving between my god and me. He sees the upper,"  she showed the front of the cross stitch" "and I, the underside." then she showed the back/bottom again, which looked like a tangle mess of crazy threads going this way and that way.
Everybody has that problem, it just comes in many forms. Some people its crippling disease, for some people its a temptation for some kind of sin, some people it is poverty, or crazy relatives. For some people, its a war torn and starving country! Or combination of these things. Never let the enemy make you feel isolated, like this temptation makes you different from others who don't experience it. all of us are different, but all of is are the same. just keep walking, knowing who He said you are, and stick to that.

Don't give up. It is not who you are. We all do get to decide who we want to be and what direction we want our life and thinking to go. And God never makes carry anything alone, He's there and there are others even if you just don't see it right now.
Godspeed.
Btw, Just to make sure there is no confusion, I did not use any "reparative therapy" and I definitely do not endorse that.
~Mother Star

Keep on walking in the light that you have. As the sun rises, more will be seen. But stay on the road you must travel until you reach your destination, whether the journey be short, or lengthy.

You Cannot Lose What You Are!

You can't lose what you are!

You cannot lose what you are, you simply cannot. If God made you something, a man or a woman, you can't do anything to not be that. “Be a man!” is like telling the water to be wet, or to be water.

Lucifer was created a powerful celestial being, and was created to worship God. He fell, and his nature was corrupted beyond redemption (Ez.28:11-19, Is. 14:12-20). Yet in Jude verse 9, we see that he is still a powerful celestial being. His nature was corrupted, he lost his job forever, his destiny was not fulfilled, yet what he was, the basic thing that he was, did not change. He still is that.

In Judges 19:22-30 we find a group of rapists assaulting somebody until she died! I can’t say much for the guy she was actually with, either. It does not say anywhere that any of these guys were OK to behave as they did, but it does say that they were men - “Men of Belial [the devil]” or in the NASB “a perverse lot” is what it calls them. Their natures were corrupted severely, whether beyond redemption or not we don't know, but pretty darn bad. Even with guys this bad, the Bible doesn't say that they were not men at all, it says what kind of men they were – really super-crappy ones. They did not lose basically what they were, but their destinies were not getting fulfilled by them acting like that. They are did the opposite of what they were created to do – I think the guy she was with did too – but they were still men, just as Satan is basically a celestial being like he has always been. 

You get to choose what kind of man you are, but it is not up to you to make yourself one. God already did that; that ship has sailed. You cannot lose your manhood by losing your job, or by any kind of moral failure, no matter how bad, or by anything bad happening to you or by anything anyone does to you. No matter what anyone says.

It is an incredibly painful thing to think that you are not what you are, particularly as far as gender is concerned. People will go to mind-boggling extremes to satisfy the need to believe they are men or women, and parents will go to amazing lengths for their kids in this area too. It even seems to be a stronger drive than self-preservation or avoidance of physical pain. or than protecting kids from harm. Below, I have embedded footage of one of the less horrific male rights of passage I've heard of. Its pretty intense! Some initiations for girls are even worse than almost any I've heard of for boys. It can't be fun to walk around feeling like “the other shoe is going drop any minute” and expose you as some kind of posturing phony, or "not a 'real' man" or some such. Dude, there is no other shoe. There can be no other shoe. God making you what you are is not a shoe in the first place, therefore there is no need to assume there's another one gonna show up any minute that will be the opposite somehow. It can't happen. There is only what is, and that's what you are. You can't lose that. So stop worrying about it, and letting Satan push you around by telling you any impossible “If… then…” stuff, putting conditions on something that cannot even change. Your mind is your mind, you have control over what goes on up there. You don’t have to believe what is not true, regardless of what those around you believe or say.
There is nothing you can ever need to prove to God, God made you and knows everything about you, and He understands everything.

Again, there is nothing you can ever need to prove to God, and God's opinion is the only one that ultimately counts.
Any situation or threat that causes you to doubt yourself, to fear or wonder in this area, honestly cannot actually take what you are away from you. All it's doing is showing you where you have built your "house" of gender identity, and perhaps self-worth, on sand instead of rock. If you really aren't enough for whatever you have been called to do or created for, than God failed, since you did not make yourself. Can God fail? Can God get it wrong? Or do we sometimes ask things of ourselves and each other that He doesn't, putting human will above His? Can God do shoddy craftsmanship, or do we just not appreciate or understand what he made in us? He can't fail, and he made you. That is the rock that identity should be built on. Everything else is merely sand.

“Woe to him who says to his father, 'What begettest thou?' or to the woman, 'What have you brought forth?” “Woe to him who says to his maker, 'What makest thou?' or 'Thy work, he hath no hands.'” To doubt yourself in this manner is to doubt God, and that is actually a sin. Sin is to be resisted, not accommodated, or accepted as status quo. Declare war on it. “The weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty in God for the pulling down of strongholds. We demolish arguments and any high and lofty thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” A “stronghold” is pretty much a mindset or a deep-seated belief that is not true, in this case it is a cultural entrenchment. There are peoples in the world who don’t think men need to “prove their manhood” all the time. At least as late as the early 1990’s, the Minangkabau of West Sumatra, Indonesia and the Mbuti of the Ituri forest in Congo were examples... 

I challenge you to begin to prayerfully pursue and root out anything in your life that reinforces these lies for you that you actually have control over (some things in our lives that do this, we don't have control over, but we're not responsible for that) – especially your media choices and the things that you say. I don't care if it is Christ-professing or well-intentioned media or whatever kind of influence it is. Maybe there is some good mixed in with the bad; mixing about six spoonfuls of potent vitamins with a teaspoon or so of rat poison is still gonna make you sick.  Get rid of it. If you can identify what it is, than get rid of it if you can. Give the enemy no place in your life.

It’s been around 20 years since I began the process of removing the poison of pornography and “women’s magazines” that basically tell me how to fix everything that is not even wrong with my appearance, and other such crap out of my life. I can say that it is a difficult process sometimes, and at times it is a sacrificial road to walk for a little while, but is well worth it. I encourage you to prayerfully give it a go.

Take care and Godspeed.

~Mother Star

God made everything in nature what it is. Despite how confused we humans can get about ourselves, either thinking to much or too little of ourselves, who and what we are doesn't go away. We can't putout the sun by disbelieving init, and w can't cease to be who we are no mattr what we think or how we feel or what we do because we doubt ourselves.

Wise as Serpents and Harmless as Doves

Matthw 10:16 "[ A Hard Road before Them ] “Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves."

John 7:24 " Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment."

Galations 5:17-24 NASB "17 For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law. 19 Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, 21 envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires."


There is so much talk about "judgment" in church, and some legit complaints do get lost in the mix with the ridiculous ones. The authentic problems with "judgment" in church are as dangerous to her as the false claims of it are.

I used to go to a church that pretty much became a cult. A guy who claimed to be an apostle (Chuck Clayton, in case you ever find yourself tempted by same snakes), and believed every church was supposed to be "submitted" to an apostle came to our church and the pastor agreed to "submit" to him and his group.

In the end, if you wanted to hold the mike, give a testimony about the pastor and how anointed he was and how he had all the gifts of all the the five-fold ministry, apostles prophets evangelists pastors and teachers.
In the end, the normally very sweet and extra gentle and quite shy pastor's wife was up on the platform yelling at us like a drill instructor, and everyone knew it wasn't her, at all. She was saying how its not an option when she and her husband start a ministry to be involved or not, and how you can't be going off and doing all these different things of your own, you need to get in line with what god is doing and that would come through them, basically. We all knew it wasn't her, but most people thought it was God speaking through her.
It definitely wasn't.
The "apostle" who introduced this teaching kept offering to lay his hands on people and "impart" his spiritual stuff to them and everybody was running for it. I did too, like an idiot. I have since renounced all that.

The thing is, I was a goth, and when I came there for that message of hers after a long absence living in another state, I was totally looking goth. I was "dressed to the nines" that day. People gave me a wide berth, like obviously walking way out around me to avoid getting close at all and to prevent any contact. Even when I went there before and had down dressed a lot, they would not lay hands on me but would hold their hands away, though stretched out to me for prayer but they wouldn't touch me. They'd walk along the line laying hands and "prophesying" to each person but would hold their hands out to me but not make contact because of how I looked, lest they should "catch" the devil from me. It was mean, actually. Why? because he was wearing an expensive suit and I was well, counter-culture. See my point?
There is, unfortunately, a dangerous current of unhealthy judgment in the church, probably not just directed at goths and tattooed folks, and is directly contrary to John 7:24 "judge not according to appearances, but judge righteous judgment". It is in fact real, and it does cause big problems. People running *to* a possessed person in a nice suit who spouts angry remarks about liberalism and etc, and asking him to impart his deceptive and controlling spirit to them, and fleeing from me for wearing black clothes and an unusual hairdo/make-up job because they think strangeness = devil worship. Many people of "a different breed" if you will, not just goths, have left the church and god, because they think its all about looking a certain way, conforming to a particular  outward standard they don't find appealing, and becoming to whatever you see/people-pleasing. Basically, that it is all about everything they can't stand.
You had church people truly afraid of me, but running to a person who was full of the devil asking him to impart the spirit he had to them. It brought a lot of destruction to their lives too, a LOT, besides wounding me way more than I even realized/faced at the time.

Besides, if certain attire were required of Christians, we would all have to wear togas or something. The early church didn't wear any leisure suits or dresses like what we have. Their music was way different too. Sometimes they didn't have any instruments whatsoever because it reminded them of pagan festivals...

thanks to whoever shared this photo in "*the gothic christains*" group on facebook, and to adam4d,whoever that is, for making it.
BOTTOM LINE: The fruit of the spirit mixed with *thoroughly* sound teaching is what matters, not political rhetoric and clothes. Chuck Clayton was on our side about homosexuality and abortion but he still wasn't from God. There are more deceptions out there than just those. Lets all be careful in these times, as it will likely only get worse. Even the elect will be tempted and it gets more extreme as it gets closer to the end. Be wise as serpents and harmless as doves  "Harmless" means unmixed, pure,innocent. I don't think that means unmixed with clothes or outward things, I think it is a heart issue. Mixing rage, spite, name-calling, glorifying death and torture and violence happening to certain people (Arabs/Palestinians in this case), pride, and other carnal manifestations, perhaps even obscenity, with a Biblical standing on marriage and procreation or whatever else IS mixing, and is by no means harmless. Or wise (Proverbs 11:30 "The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and he who is wise wins souls."). I'm not referencing Trump here when I make this list, in case he really is doing all that, (idk if he still is, because I ignore the news media; I don't have a tv or want one) but I'm referencing "apostle" Chuck Clayton here. Btw. if you see these signs anywhere, I don't care where, beware.
Cultural and sub-cultural things that pertain to celebrations/customs, clothes, stories, art and etc aren't necessarily mixing, per se. Not that it never happens but it isn't automatically "mixing" in and of itself; it depends what the custom/item/etc. is, and the reasons people are doing it. Not understanding this damages mission work and evangelism anywhere outside of a certain kind of Westerners. Plus it opens the door to serious deceptions, within said group of Westerners, by liars who "look the part". Lets be careful and separate sheep and goats, ok?
Godspeed.
~Mother Star

An Open Letter to the Kid I Saw Running

Tuesday night, I heard loud noises, like gunshots or certain fireworks, near my house. We do fireworks on 4th of July in my country - well, I don't, but almost everyone else does.
When I headed toward the car, I looked down the street and I saw a young man running, maybe 14 or 15 years old, and absolutely terrified. I wondered what was wrong. This neighborhood has been much quieter in recent years, there haven't been any shootings in the last couple years, and I have never actually heard gunfire here before.
Well, moments later another person came to the corner, moving slower. He was chasing the kid, but not moving as fast, or really trying to. He stood there and stuck his arm out and I started hearing the popping sounds again. I was scared half to death; I was witnessing a murder, or at least an attempted one.
The poor boy got away, thankfully, I found out the next morning. A person of his description had been arrested in connection with a shooting. Someone a block away, in the direction the gunman was firing and the kid was running, had been hit in the eye and died. He may or may not have been an intended victim; the kid definitely was. The kid didn't do the shooting I know he didn't, and now the police know it too. I reported the next day what I saw, before I knew anyone had been hit or whether the boy got away or not.

I don't know the boy's name, and I don't know how I would talk to him, whether it would be safe to, or what.
I know this much, this is what I would want to say, if I knew he would hear me.

"Dear neighbor,
I don't know your name, and have never met you, but I've seen you around the corner house and the neighborhood sometimes. I heard some loud noises the other night, as I was walking to my car, and I saw you running like the devil was chasing you and wondered what was wrong. Then a silhouette of a man or older boy, I'm not sure which, came to the corner after you, stuck his arm out, and the noises started again. I realized he was shooting at you and freaked. I ran into my house praying for all of  us, but most especially for you. For the gunman to stop what he was doing, and that God would protect you. I think He did. I was a happy to hear you were seen a couple hours later, in handcuffs, but thankfully alive and well.

I don't know how you came to be in that situation, but I know this: No one is made to live in the kind of terror you were obviously dealing with that night, or die the way you almost did. Nobody.  Especially not anyone so young.
Growing up around water would not make you a duck, and growing up surrounded by this environment doesn't mean it is your destiny and purpose. You are a man, made in the image of God, and you deserve to get old, and have a wife who loves you dearly and sticks with you through everything, and a house of your own if you want that, and if you have kids, to be able to protect them and keep them safe.

Now, doing things that would bring dangerous people or things into their home is not keeping kids safe, it's the opposite. I don't know if someone's let you down that way, but even if they have, you don't have to et yourself down like that.
I don't know if you are still growing, but even if you aren't, your brain is still growing. It won't be fully developed until sometime in your twenties, that's how humans are. The things you are into and are able to do, the ability to process things and find what you like, don't like, what you understand, and all those things, those are still developing and growing. You can't know who you are just yet, because all of the ways you will be able to think and feel and understand and do are not there yet, and won't be for about ten more years.
Be true to yourself; live long enough to become who you are. Not every young person in this area ends up in situations like you were in. There are things you can do, decisions that you can make, to help protect yourself and get through this.
I used to have to deal with people's expectations, like I'd be walking to school or to the bus station and people would offer me money for sex, acting like it was a compliment. I ignored them and kept on walking. Once I turned and chewed the guy out. Its painful when people don't believe in you because of the neighborhood you come from and think there's just certain things you're going to end up doing, and its all bad things. It's not your problem if other's don't realize your potential, just don't let it become your problem by agreeing with them. Other people don't define what you can become or do, only you do, and unless you spread your wings you'll never find out how far you can fly.
If your house is not safe, spend as little time there as possible, or call the abuse hotline if no one will call for you. I think having dangerous people and things in the house is listed as a type of abuse. If its not as bad as that, get involved in something safer that can keep you out of the house. I volunteered when I was on the street, and it actually did me a lot of good, It gave me something to do that mattered, and my life made a difference to somebody, plus I met different people who cared about what I cared about. It kept me off the street, away from dangerous people and out of trouble, and helped me believe in myself more. Make a list of things you hate about the world, at least ten things, or at least ten things that you wish would be that are not. Then see if there are any non-profits in town that are trying to make the kinds of changes you want to see. When you find them, see about volunteering there, and start being the change you wish you could see around you. For example, if one of the things you hate is child abuse and child molesters, then try volunteering at Growing Strong, which helps people of all ages who have been hurt that way and helps put the bad guys behind bars. There are things you can do, even little things, in a lot of places, that can make more difference than you know.
If the school is not safe, then maybe see about dual credit, take as many high school classes as you can at the college instead, so you won't have to be in that hard environment. Its safer there than in the high schools, and there are more older people who don't feel much need to cause problems.
Study can be an escape. Any time you're studying, you are not dealing with other's bullshit. Any time you're thinking about what you are trying to learn, you don't have to think about things that bother you, plus it gets you through school. Study at the library or at the college or in a further away park or somewhere that you are not likely to get pulled into things you don't want to be part of. Find something you are interested in and learn about it. Study with people who are safer to be around, and will not suck you into dangerous trouble.
Don't give up on yourself, whatever you do. Don't give up on your future, and don't give up on God.
He spared your life the other night for a reason. Spend it finding out what that reason is."




After what happened the other night, I find myself praying the prayer of St. Michael, or at least the parts I know. I've thought of getting the kid a St.Micheal medal, to remind him that God is with him and that he is not alone.
I don't know what to do, I wish there was someway I could reach this boy, but I don't know how.
. I heard that loud gun again last night, I think its a .45. As traumatized as I am from being around it, I can't imagine what a child experiences, going though what he's going through.
Prayers appreciated about this whole situation

Godspeed.
~Mother Star

Is Mother Star an "Ex-Gay"? No.

I am not "ex-gay" I am not "ex-bi" I am not "ex-"anything because who and what I am have absolutely nothing to do with anything I have ever been tempted to do, ever thought, or ever done.
Rejecting the identity I used to have for myself is about being true to myself, the real me, the God-created me that is always there and that I am continually growing into and becoming in so many ways. Actually, its happening in ALL ways, not just in the area of sexuality.

I did not and do not go around all day name-it-claim-it-blab-it-grab-it-ing heterosexual temptations and interests into my life. If that helps you, go for it, if not than don't.

If at some point, for a brief time or for longer, homosexual temptations begin to resurface, that doesn't mean you are losing anything, it means you are being tempted. Thats all there is to it.
Temptations do not make a person who they are. I had a homosexual urge very strong and unexpected about two or three years ago, triggered by a video I had seen many times and that had no sexual content in it, just a lady playing guitar. I had never had that response to it before. I looked away, prayed and looked back. I still felt the same way. I actually threw a towel over it and thought, "this is ridiculous..." and I prayed and asked God what to do and felt he was saying I needed to make a decision. Do I believe in who I am or not?
Well, I usually do not advocate talking much TO the devil, because he doesn't deserve it. Say be gone in the name of Jesus and that's it. So, instead I said, "I don't know why you are able to do this to me, but I know its from you and not me. I choose not to care if I still feel like this again for years, I KNOW WHO I AM. And THAT ISN"T IT! Period." I did not say that just in an effort to make the temptations go away, like "abra cadabra, battle is all finished and out of my face" or "if I say this, than it will stop" or "If I say this than I won't 'change back' and be gay or bi again" or any such. I *didn't* actually know if it would stop if I said that, and I didn't care. I chose not to care, like it was a decision. I meant exactly what I said. I knew what I believed about who I was, I knew he was attacking that, like sometimes he will attack your faith in God, your belief in your call, or in somebody you are close to, or your finances or whatever. He was attacking my identity, but his attacks did not have the power to change it, or even merely what I believed about it, without my agreement/consent. I was determined not to give in, regardless of how long the attack should last. I actively decided also not to even think about length of time it might last and get worried if I could fight that long. Just think "No." End of story.
I removed the towel and went on watching the video, steeled inside to endure whatever attacks, because there was no way I was going to be running away from attacks endlessly and perhaps end up cooped up in the house looking at nothing for however long. Why should I? Those temptations had no real power, not unless I gave it that power and I intended not to.

Well, when I took off the towel and turned the vid back on, everything was back to normal and the attack was over.
He was testing me when he knew I was weak due to having lost pretty much everything I had over the year or two leading up to that moment, and due to being sick and snowed in and unable to get through the weather to church for two or three weeks in a row. I was hurting, I had no idea where it was all going to end, or where I went wrong - if I did - to end up that way and etc. I was broken in very many ways, but my faith was not and my will was not. I was down, but not out. I guess that was what I was being checked for, to see if I was still alive in there, or If I was done with and defeated - or at least defeatable... By God's grace, I was not.
By God's grace I never will be, and sexual sins are not the only things that applies to, just one of many.
DO I know for sure I will never ever be tested again? No. I don't care either. I know who I am, and that is all I need to know about the subject.
Godspeed.
~Mother Star