The Archangel Michael

It took me months to sit down and process it, but I had an interesting spiritual experience a few months ago. It only lasted a couple of minutes, but it was as real as I am sitting here now.
I was experimenting with asking the intercession of St. Michael, I've been Catholic for 2.5 years and have still hardly ever done stuff like that. I had just read how Pope Francis and Benedict XVI recently consecrated the Vatican to St. Michael due to the corruption and other things they were dealing with, and there was a thing at the end telling how to do that.

There's a huge terminology problem here, because consecrating stuff to St. Micheal or any other saint is not giving it to them like you consecrate and give something to God, i.e. an act of worship. It's more like when these missionaries came to another church I went to years ago and asked people to commit to being their "prayer cover" (protestant terminology) because they were going from the Northern edge of Mexico to the Southern end of South America by land and that is very dangerous. They came close to dying a bunch of times but never did and many times it was a miracle they did not. I was part of their prayer cover. It was more extreme than "Yea, I'll pray for you guys." It was a commitment. We understood that our vigilant intercession could and would make a difference between life and death for these people we knew, and between salvation and damnation health or sickness and maybe life and death for those they ministered to along the way. That's what patron saints do, its like prayer cover." We were sort of taking it as our job to take care of that. Also, if we were going to "pray in agreement" about something and place it in the hands of Creator to take care of, which is something we sometimes used to do, that's another part of what consecrating to saints does. When we did that, it wasn't like, "God, please do this, that, and that, or fix this," it was "God, this is nothing but a mess, I have no idea what to do or to specifically ask You to do, take this God, it's all Yours."An individual could give a situation totally over to Creator by themselves and people do so, but when people prayed in agreement with them about it, it was thought to be more powerful and did seem to be. When you "turn the whole thing over to God" (consecrate it, but in some Protestant terminology) "praying in agreement" (more Protestant terminology,) with a minister or someone else, then you are giving it to The Creator "through the intercession of" (Catholic terminology) those people, as well as through your own prayer. Saints entire job in the church is intercession now, they can't get distracted or fall asleep and forget, and its hard to have more faith and less doubt than someone in Heaven. Their prayers are extremely powerful. Some folks on earth have very strong faith and everybody wants them to pray because when they do, "mountains move". Saints are even are more so. I have discovered that lately myself. Catholics say "Consecrating it to a Saint is consecrating it to God through their intercession" and Protestants think you are making them idols when they probably do the same kinds of things with living people and just don't call it that. We get thrown off by terminology. I've been working on researching this for weeks now, because I was confused by the terminology and by the terminology used to explain it! I finally got it straightened out. Finally. Ok, got that explanation out of the way...

Consecration to St. Micheal is something I was drawn to and have studied and wrestled with intellectually for a little while. Originally, I had a video here, where the concept of "consecration to saints" was introduced to me. The practice is a Catholic practice as described above, but the video was off base. A priest told me that, "'Keep the prayer running in the background, experience His abiding presence,' is not acceptable and smacks of superstition. We don't believe in spinning the prayer wheels of Bhuddist monks." Other things in the video were also unacceptable, and there were things that I was disturbed about too. I have removed and replaced it with this picture of a cool tattoo! 

While I was saying the ready-made part of the Consecration to St. Micheal, I really meant it fervently and then when it came time to state my intention (the thing I was "consecrating to St. Micheal," see above paragraph), my head was swimming with hard-line anti-Catholic rhetoric I'd had drilled into me in the past. My head was so full of doubts and questions about the validity, efficacy and even morality of what I was doing that it was hard to even do it. I think it was a spiritual attack, because not long after I finally finished it, I felt The Presence come very strongly into my room. Now, I don't know if you all know what the kabod is, or have heard the word. Its Hebrew, and it refers to the weighty glory of Creator. I have felt that before. I've been places where it was so strong it knocked the ministers to the ground and much of the congregation, which sounds terrible but it was actually fun, it didn't hurt at all, it was great, but you just couldn't stand up in it. 2 Chron 5:13-14 tells a story of something like that, except with kabod there is no cloud. The cloud is the shekinah.  Kabod is the sense of heaviness or weight, the tangible or almost-tangible Presence. It's awesome, and that's what came in my room. It shocked me, I hadn't expected it.

There were two presences in my room, one much like an echo of the other, a much lesser version but still so much like the Presence of Creator. I was flabbergasted and I can't say how I knew, but I knew that it was St. Michael. I did not hear anything with my ears or see anything with my eyes, but I got just as clearly as if I had, I got the message "I'm here! I'm here! I heard you! What's wrong? What do you need?" They were like fire. The intensity and the passion I could sense from both were incredible. The other big difference was St. Michael did not know the answer to those questions, I was able to discern that very clearly. I think the Holy Spirit allows us to experience things like this and through the Holy Spirit we are spiritually able to "hear" each other in cases like this and pick up on what's happening.

Anyway, my head was full of warnings from a sometimes hard-line Protestant past that I must not worship angels, that I needed to make sure all my devotion was directed to Creator, and "keep my focus on God alone," etc.I kept saying "Thank You, God, for this," and "Thank You, God, for that." That was fine but I began to have a feeling something was off somewhere in my prayers, that something wasn't quite on target for what Creator desired from me at the moment. I was almost painfully aware of St. Micheal and avoided speaking to him or even looking in the direction I felt him standing. Or towering, whatever. It's like the Presence of the Almighty, except so much smaller and where Creator's Presence surrounds and envelops you and is limitless and even goes through you, St. Michael was there like the table is there. You know where it is but it's in just one spot, nearby you. That's how it was for me anyway. After a minute or less, I think, it started to feel awkward, feeling someone there so strong and not letting yourself acknowledge them. I started to feel convicted by the Creator, so I just tried even harder to ignore the angel in my bedroom. I started to sense that St. Micheal was getting put out, which is a hair-raising thing to pick up on even if you know he won't hurt you. I think its because Creator wasn't getting what Creator wanted. I just got quiet inside and out, and I waited to hear what I should be doing that I wasn't. Creator said, "I didn't bring him here, like this, for you to ignore him! He is going to stand right there until you say something to him!" I felt tongue-tied and didn't know what to say.

Obviously, I didn't see this standing in my room. I sensed a presence strong enough to equal seeing. This is the closest I could find to express what he felt like to me. Of course, that doesn't mean the other pictures are "wrong".

I get tongue-tied anyway, with people. I guess St. Micheal hadn't been so completely real to me before and I was half-way taking a shot in the dark when I had consecrated some people I really cared about, who the devil was wreaking all sorts of havoc on, to St. Micheal. When I could feel him standing there and knew he was paying attention I just couldn't do it. He was unfamiliar to me. I'm that way with people too, initially. I struggled for something to say, much like I do with other people sometimes - except I think this was worse... Finally, I just thanked the Creator for Their Presence, for the wonderful experience I was having, and for St. Micheal, i.e. I started in my comfort zone and worked my way into what Creator wanted me to do. I said, "and, St. Micheal, uh... um .... thank you for being here." I hadn't realized how much this gift from the Creator did for me emotionally until I thanked St. Micheal for coming. I picked up very, very strong waves of surprise, perplexity, and bafflement from St. Micheal. I was embarrassed, but I felt Creator surround me in Their Presence like a cloud, again I didn't see anything, it was almost tangible like a hug. I could feel the Holy Spirit say that what I said was OK; it was the best I could do, it was obedience, and it was totally sincere. St. Micheal, a created being, didn't understand that but the Creator did.

We as humans, made in the image of Creator, can empathize as They do, share sorrow and burdens as They do, love and feel connected and share in a feeling and be blessed by each other as They do. Our bodies and brains and psyches are made to work in unison with our spirits and with Creator's Spirit like that. St. Micheal is a created being and is holy, unfallen and of heaven, but apparently his love doesn't work quite like that. There was passion and concern in the "What do you need? I heard you, I'm here!" I got initially, but apparently the way we do love and empathize doesn't work for him. He's something else. He was expecting me to give him something to do. That's how he does love I guess.

While I was weeping in the heavy presence of my Creator, I could sense that the angel was at peace seeing that Creator was satisfied, but was perplexed in an interested and inquisitive sort of way. He was not able to share in something like that, but was interested in how we can connect like that with our God. I deliberately turned my mind away from Micheal and focused on Creator because that was as much entertaining of angels and communing with saints as this Protestant convert could take in a day. I sensed Creator letting him know he was dismissed and he was surprised, I think still expecting to receive orders, not merely to stand there with me for a minute. Then it was like a veil or door shut and I could not feel or sense him anymore, I just caught that his attention was on something else now and he was going to deal with it as the door "shut". Back in my comfort zone again, I guess, just me and my Creator.

I know this is Creator's way of explaining to me that this whole Saints thing is ok, despite whatever I had been taught all my life. Obviously, it's hard for me to adjust to, it was uncomfortable that night, but it was still glorious. I've been trying to learn about relationships with saints since then, and about different kinds of "devotions" to saints, what it is about and how it works. I absolutely hate that terminology, "devotions to saints" because it sounds like you worship them, or in Protestant terminology that is what it seems to refer to, even though I know now that it isn't that. It confuses me to talk about it like that, but I don't have a replacement word right now. We as the Church (the whole church, not just Catholics) are going to have to communicate better or we are never going to be able to become One. We as Catholics ought to find some alternative terms to convey these things to Protestants, or even to each other, to eliminate such confusion and accusations flying around. But right now at least I have my clarification I needed. Intercession of saints is another wonderful thing stuffy people I grew up with didn't think I should ever have or do, I guess, like the best music and the coolest clothes and nearly everything else associated with my vocation in this life...

I will post another blog on what I learned from that experience because there is way too much for one post, but for now, let this be enough.

Godspeed.

~Mother Star

An Open Letter to the Kid I Saw Running

Tuesday night, I heard loud noises, like gunshots or certain fireworks, near my house. We do fireworks on 4th of July in my country - well, I don't, but almost everyone else does.
When I headed toward the car, I looked down the street and I saw a young man running, maybe 14 or 15 years old, and absolutely terrified. I wondered what was wrong. This neighborhood has been much quieter in recent years, there haven't been any shootings in the last couple years, and I have never actually heard gunfire here before.
Well, moments later another person came to the corner, moving slower. He was chasing the kid, but not moving as fast, or really trying to. He stood there and stuck his arm out and I started hearing the popping sounds again. I was scared half to death; I was witnessing a murder, or at least an attempted one.
The poor boy got away, thankfully, I found out the next morning. A person of his description had been arrested in connection with a shooting. Someone a block away, in the direction the gunman was firing and the kid was running, had been hit in the eye and died. He may or may not have been an intended victim; the kid definitely was. The kid didn't do the shooting I know he didn't, and now the police know it too. I reported the next day what I saw, before I knew anyone had been hit or whether the boy got away or not.

I don't know the boy's name, and I don't know how I would talk to him, whether it would be safe to, or what.
I know this much, this is what I would want to say, if I knew he would hear me.

"Dear neighbor,
I don't know your name, and have never met you, but I've seen you around the corner house and the neighborhood sometimes. I heard some loud noises the other night, as I was walking to my car, and I saw you running like the devil was chasing you and wondered what was wrong. Then a silhouette of a man or older boy, I'm not sure which, came to the corner after you, stuck his arm out, and the noises started again. I realized he was shooting at you and freaked. I ran into my house praying for all of  us, but most especially for you. For the gunman to stop what he was doing, and that God would protect you. I think He did. I was a happy to hear you were seen a couple hours later, in handcuffs, but thankfully alive and well.

I don't know how you came to be in that situation, but I know this: No one is made to live in the kind of terror you were obviously dealing with that night, or die the way you almost did. Nobody.  Especially not anyone so young.
Growing up around water would not make you a duck, and growing up surrounded by this environment doesn't mean it is your destiny and purpose. You are a man, made in the image of God, and you deserve to get old, and have a wife who loves you dearly and sticks with you through everything, and a house of your own if you want that, and if you have kids, to be able to protect them and keep them safe.

Now, doing things that would bring dangerous people or things into their home is not keeping kids safe, it's the opposite. I don't know if someone's let you down that way, but even if they have, you don't have to et yourself down like that.
I don't know if you are still growing, but even if you aren't, your brain is still growing. It won't be fully developed until sometime in your twenties, that's how humans are. The things you are into and are able to do, the ability to process things and find what you like, don't like, what you understand, and all those things, those are still developing and growing. You can't know who you are just yet, because all of the ways you will be able to think and feel and understand and do are not there yet, and won't be for about ten more years.
Be true to yourself; live long enough to become who you are. Not every young person in this area ends up in situations like you were in. There are things you can do, decisions that you can make, to help protect yourself and get through this.
I used to have to deal with people's expectations, like I'd be walking to school or to the bus station and people would offer me money for sex, acting like it was a compliment. I ignored them and kept on walking. Once I turned and chewed the guy out. Its painful when people don't believe in you because of the neighborhood you come from and think there's just certain things you're going to end up doing, and its all bad things. It's not your problem if other's don't realize your potential, just don't let it become your problem by agreeing with them. Other people don't define what you can become or do, only you do, and unless you spread your wings you'll never find out how far you can fly.
If your house is not safe, spend as little time there as possible, or call the abuse hotline if no one will call for you. I think having dangerous people and things in the house is listed as a type of abuse. If its not as bad as that, get involved in something safer that can keep you out of the house. I volunteered when I was on the street, and it actually did me a lot of good, It gave me something to do that mattered, and my life made a difference to somebody, plus I met different people who cared about what I cared about. It kept me off the street, away from dangerous people and out of trouble, and helped me believe in myself more. Make a list of things you hate about the world, at least ten things, or at least ten things that you wish would be that are not. Then see if there are any non-profits in town that are trying to make the kinds of changes you want to see. When you find them, see about volunteering there, and start being the change you wish you could see around you. For example, if one of the things you hate is child abuse and child molesters, then try volunteering at Growing Strong, which helps people of all ages who have been hurt that way and helps put the bad guys behind bars. There are things you can do, even little things, in a lot of places, that can make more difference than you know.
If the school is not safe, then maybe see about dual credit, take as many high school classes as you can at the college instead, so you won't have to be in that hard environment. Its safer there than in the high schools, and there are more older people who don't feel much need to cause problems.
Study can be an escape. Any time you're studying, you are not dealing with other's bullshit. Any time you're thinking about what you are trying to learn, you don't have to think about things that bother you, plus it gets you through school. Study at the library or at the college or in a further away park or somewhere that you are not likely to get pulled into things you don't want to be part of. Find something you are interested in and learn about it. Study with people who are safer to be around, and will not suck you into dangerous trouble.
Don't give up on yourself, whatever you do. Don't give up on your future, and don't give up on God.
He spared your life the other night for a reason. Spend it finding out what that reason is."




After what happened the other night, I find myself praying the prayer of St. Michael, or at least the parts I know. I've thought of getting the kid a St.Micheal medal, to remind him that God is with him and that he is not alone.
I don't know what to do, I wish there was someway I could reach this boy, but I don't know how.
. I heard that loud gun again last night, I think its a .45. As traumatized as I am from being around it, I can't imagine what a child experiences, going though what he's going through.
Prayers appreciated about this whole situation

Godspeed.
~Mother Star