Is Mother Star an "Ex-Gay"? No.

I am not "ex-gay" I am not "ex-bi" I am not "ex-"anything because who and what I am have absolutely nothing to do with anything I have ever been tempted to do, ever thought, or ever done.
Rejecting the identity I used to have for myself is about being true to myself, the real me, the God-created me that is always there and that I am continually growing into and becoming in so many ways. Actually, its happening in ALL ways, not just in the area of sexuality.

I did not and do not go around all day name-it-claim-it-blab-it-grab-it-ing heterosexual temptations and interests into my life. If that helps you, go for it, if not than don't.

If at some point, for a brief time or for longer, homosexual temptations begin to resurface, that doesn't mean you are losing anything, it means you are being tempted. Thats all there is to it.
Temptations do not make a person who they are. I had a homosexual urge very strong and unexpected about two or three years ago, triggered by a video I had seen many times and that had no sexual content in it, just a lady playing guitar. I had never had that response to it before. I looked away, prayed and looked back. I still felt the same way. I actually threw a towel over it and thought, "this is ridiculous..." and I prayed and asked God what to do and felt he was saying I needed to make a decision. Do I believe in who I am or not?
Well, I usually do not advocate talking much TO the devil, because he doesn't deserve it. Say be gone in the name of Jesus and that's it. So, instead I said, "I don't know why you are able to do this to me, but I know its from you and not me. I choose not to care if I still feel like this again for years, I KNOW WHO I AM. And THAT ISN"T IT! Period." I did not say that just in an effort to make the temptations go away, like "abra cadabra, battle is all finished and out of my face" or "if I say this, than it will stop" or "If I say this than I won't 'change back' and be gay or bi again" or any such. I *didn't* actually know if it would stop if I said that, and I didn't care. I chose not to care, like it was a decision. I meant exactly what I said. I knew what I believed about who I was, I knew he was attacking that, like sometimes he will attack your faith in God, your belief in your call, or in somebody you are close to, or your finances or whatever. He was attacking my identity, but his attacks did not have the power to change it, or even merely what I believed about it, without my agreement/consent. I was determined not to give in, regardless of how long the attack should last. I actively decided also not to even think about length of time it might last and get worried if I could fight that long. Just think "No." End of story.
I removed the towel and went on watching the video, steeled inside to endure whatever attacks, because there was no way I was going to be running away from attacks endlessly and perhaps end up cooped up in the house looking at nothing for however long. Why should I? Those temptations had no real power, not unless I gave it that power and I intended not to.

Well, when I took off the towel and turned the vid back on, everything was back to normal and the attack was over.
He was testing me when he knew I was weak due to having lost pretty much everything I had over the year or two leading up to that moment, and due to being sick and snowed in and unable to get through the weather to church for two or three weeks in a row. I was hurting, I had no idea where it was all going to end, or where I went wrong - if I did - to end up that way and etc. I was broken in very many ways, but my faith was not and my will was not. I was down, but not out. I guess that was what I was being checked for, to see if I was still alive in there, or If I was done with and defeated - or at least defeatable... By God's grace, I was not.
By God's grace I never will be, and sexual sins are not the only things that applies to, just one of many.
DO I know for sure I will never ever be tested again? No. I don't care either. I know who I am, and that is all I need to know about the subject.
Godspeed.
~Mother Star

Things To Know If You Pray To End Trafficking

I geared this piece for Christians, but the information is secular and relevant to everyone:

If we are going to bring light to this world it is important that we not accept things as inevitable outside of heaven that are not actually so. It is important not to be deceived about how good or how much better things can be. If we do not believe for something or if we resist it without believing the battle can be won, we will not receive it and then neither will the rest of the world.
As Ive been doing some research on the problem of trafficking for the sex trade lately, it concerns me that so many men in the church have bought into the lie that prostitution is "the oldest profession in the world" and that it is just part of life in a fallen world, across the board. It is actually not a natural temptation. The oldest profession in the world is more likely farming, and in some places it is gambling. As of the early 1990's there was one relatively "developed" culture, meaning they have school and higher eduction and police and jails and banks and etc, that still did not view sex as a commodity at all, or have a concept of sex just for its own sake. I looked it up, and they are not a Christian tribe. there are lots of people's in the world who are similar to that. The enemy has not been able to bring perversions we accept as inevitable everywhere as yet, and hopefully he won't. I have attached an article by anthropologist Peggy-Reeves Sanday, and have copied below two excerpts from this piece work comparing at least some elements of our society with the ways and views of their society. Note that none of these people are Christians. The rather developed Sumatran culture examined toward the end is an unreached people-group:

"Getting their information about women and sex from pornography, some brothers don't see anything wrong with forcing a woman, especially if she's drunk. After the l983 case of alleged gang rape I describe in the book one of the participants, a virgin at the time, told a news reporter:
' We have this Select TV in the house, and there's soft porn on every midnight. All the guys watch it and talk about it and stuff, and [gang banging] didn't seem that odd because it's something that you see and hear about all the time. I've heard stories from other fraternities about group sex and trains and stuff like that. It was just like, you know, so this is what I've heard about, this is what it's like....' (Sanday l990:34). "

"Since l981 when this research was published, I spent approximately twenty- four months (extended over a period of fourteen years) doing ethnographic research among the Minangkabau, a rape free Indonesian society. . . . Missing from the Minangkabau conception of sexuality is any show of interest in sex for the sake of sex alone. Sex is neither a commodity nor a notch in the male belt in this society. A man's sense of himself is not predicated by his sexual functioning. Although aggression is present, it is not linked to sex nor is it deemed a manly trait. The Minangkabau have yet to discover sex as a commodity or turn it into a fetish."

Click here to read the full article.