Things I Did Not Used to Know About the Rosary

It may be news to some that when the Rosary is prayed, with all its “Hail Mary's,” the meditations for it are various events in the Life of Jesus. Your mind is supposed to be on Jesus, not Mary. Father John told our class that the words are not really the point. They words are spoken to help you shut everything else out and focus on “The mysteries” which are key events in the life of Jesus from conception to Resurrection. The Hail Mary's are indeed inane repetitions, and that is because “Hail Mary's” aren't what the rosary supposed to be about. You're supposed to concentrate on “The Mysteries,” imagining like you were standing there seeing it, as vivid as possible, to make it really real to you. You start out saying the creed, like what the band Third Day put to music once, the object of the Rosary is to nourish one's faith in Jesus.
In light of that, I sort of understand why there are so many Hail Mary;s and the prayers to God are fewer. The ones to God are not supposed to be white noise you make to drown out your actual surroundings, and the Hail Mary's are. I still find it more effective, most of the time, to just say the verses that tell the story I am trying to imagine, though, or the Glory Be: “Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end, amen.” That prayer is included in the normal Rosary practice too, but not as much as the Hail Mary.
The original Catholic rosary was, in fact, recitation of Scripture. They said all of the Psalms. It went through a lot of changes over time. Even after it was pretty much in its present form, for a long time the mysteries stopped at the crucifixion, and within the last couple hundred years one of the Popes added “The Glorious Mysteries” about the resurrection and the coming of the Holy spirit and stuff. He was pointed out that Without the resurrection, all the rest would be powerless and meaningless. He was like, "Why are we stopping there?” I think that was a really good move. I expect the reason is was stopped at the crucifixion for so long is because it started as a recitation of the Psalms. There are 150 psalms. That 150 Psalms became 150 "Hail Marys", and there were 15 "mysteries" with ten "Hail Mary's" a piece.
The words coming out your mouth are the same, but the Mysteries you Meditate on are what will vary. They Mysteries are in groups of five,
 "The Joyful Mysteries - The Annunciation, which is when the Angel appears to Mary and lets her know God's plan,and she agrees to answer the call. The Visitation when Mary visited her cousin who was pregnant with John the Baptist and Elizabeth prophesied that Mary's baby was the Lord, The Nativity when Jesus is born in Bethlehem, the The Presentation at the temple when the prophetess Anna and the prophet Simon basically said "This is the Messiah, I can die in peace now that I've seen him.", and the Finding of Jesus in the Temple, when He said,"Didn't you know I needed to be about my Father's business?"
Then there are the Sorrowful Mysteries: The Agony in the Garden (Gethsemani), The Scourging at the Pillar, The Crowing with Thorns, The Carrying of the Cross, and The Crucifixion, When he was nailed and hung until He died.
Glorious Mysteries: The Resurrection, The Ascension, the Coming of the Holy Spirit, The Assumption (a Marian Dogma event), and the Coronation (which has to do with the Catholic interpretation of Revelation 12:1), In total, the Joyful Mysteries, The Sorrowful Mysteries,and the Glorious Mysteries  made 150 Hail Mary's, which when they first started doing the Rosary, was the 150 Psalms.
They added the five Lumious Mysteries,which are optional in 2002 according to the suggestion of Pope (Saint) John Paul II.
The Luminous Mysteries are: The Baptism of the Lord, when the Holy spirit came down in the form of a dove and the voice came from heaven saying Jesus was God's son. The Wedding at Cana when He turned water into wine. The proclamation of the Kingdom, when He began his ministry and went out saying "Repent, the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand,"and went around healing the sick and the demonized. The Transfiguration, And The Institution of the Eucharist, when he said,at Passover "This is my body... this is my blood..."
Therefore now, if you go through all of the Mysteries in one sitting, which would mean going around all the Rosary beads four times, you will now say 200 Hail Marys. Usually, you only do 50 though, because most people just go through one set of five mysteries every time they say it.

So that is what the Rosary is about, and all those Hail Mary's. I personally, do not use the Hail Mary very much, even when I say the Rosary, but that is a story for another day.
I will say, on the note of personal testimony, that I do have a greater sense of God's presence in my life and usually do better at resisting various besetting sins in my life when I pray the Rosary fairly frequently, like about every day.

Godspeed.

~Mother Star

Everyone's Responsibility, Pt 1.:Notes from the Anti-Molestation Workshop at St.James/St Patrick Parish

It is everyone's responsibility to make sure that our next generation is safe. Everyone's. all of  have a roll to play, but too few of us are aware of the threats, or know how to address them. This series is meant to help change that.

In order to volunteer in the Springfield, IL diocese in any capacity, be it in the schools, the choir, handing out food baskets, being a greeter in the churches - anything - you have to take a class called Protecting God's Children. The class is to raise awareness of the dangers of child abuse, in the church and out, how to respond when you suspect abuse or when a child reports it to you, what to look for in a potential abuser, warning signs to watch for in a child who may be getting abused sexually.

Really, everybody needs to know this, regardless of if they have kids or not. After reading another blog about the Duggar situation, and hearing some very disgusting sugar-coating of the situation by hardcore fans of  the show on the radio, I have decided to do a series on the problem of child abuse, in the church (The entire church, Catholic, and Protestant and Orthodox alike) and out of it. Today, I am just going to pass along my notes from the class. The program they use is called Vertus, it was put together by order of the Vatican. Another class participant from somewhere in the country found a way to get footage from the DVDs and put some of the main points in a video. I downloaded it and put it here for the benefit of whoever.

The Springfield, IL diocese has had an awareness program and screening for its volunteers and employees -all employees, including clergy - already developed and in place since before the abuse scandal hit. Someone involved in child abuse awareness programs worked part time in the Diocese office, and shared what she learned with co-workers, including our instructor. This individual suggested to Bishop Thomas John that we should start such a program in the Diocese. Thankfully, he listened and agreed and put action behind his words. Most dioceses in America did not have any such program at that time at all. After the Vatican mandated that everybody have one, and leading US Catholic Bishops called in law enforcement, criminal psychologists and just all the best experts in the field they could find, for assistance with this Vertus project, and it was put together with the authorities, clinicians, and clergy working together. The Springfield diocese adopted the Vertus program soon after it came out.

How big is this problem??  In the several years our instructor has spent as an abuse awareness educator (in the church and out of it) she has spoken to at least 300 people and out of these, 45 and counting have told her they were abused or know someone was abused or legally charged with abuse. That's just the ones who said something to her about it.
In several US states, she has encountered public school employees stating that their workplace had a custom of "passing the trash" - i.e., if a teacher is accused of abuse, they are merely reassigned. One appalling example she gave was a pedophile was accused in a middle-class area school, reassigned to a poor and predominantly Hispanic school. After accusations were made there, he was reassigned to a school for the disabled! Teachers can still get another teaching job and teachers unions will protect them from exposure and prosecution and protect their educator's license. You can Google or DuckDuckGo this: "passing the trash teachers." [here are several links I found, in case anybody is still not sure that this is not just a Catholic or Christian problem.
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/03/27/passing-the-trash-deals-allow-bad-teachers-and-coaches-to-become-mobile-molestors/
http://watchdog.org/113092/u-s-house-passes-bill-prevent-passing-trash/
http://lancasteronline.com/opinion/end-passing-the-trash-of-child-abusing-teachers/article_7981ca82-1f35-11e4-beb2-0017a43b2370.html
http://mediatrackers.org/pennsylvania/2013/10/25/passing-trash-bills-popular-teacher-union-leaders
Some of these articles are from PA, but our instructor has not been there, and she has still heard about "Passing the trash" a lot from public school employees. It's disgusting. Apparently PA journalists are covering it somewhat, which is a good thing, whereas in other areas they are not, which is dreadful.]

There have been high ranking officials in other churches, she mentioned one from the Episcopal church, where a "passing the trash" type of situation also occurred, and there is usually limited local news coverage, and often there is no coverage at all. She sees these things because of her job, but the general public does not. According to the law enforcement and psychological  authorities who helped design the Vertus program, 3% of the population are pedophiles - which means,[in the clinical world] they have a sexual orientation that is geared toward children, tis part of who they are - and one pedophile can abuse hundreds or even thousands of children in their lifetime. They often start very early, around the age of sexual awareness or in the early teen years, and they do not stop unless someone stops them. They can hurt more kids if they are allowed a position with authority over children/teens and have unsupervised access to them often - teaching, coaching, mentoring, scout leading, daycare work, youth workers, etc. A person with this "orientation" should never be allowed around children at all, but they will actively seek such positions out.

Myth Busting:
Myth 1. Children who report sexual abuse are usually lying.
Fact: Children rarely lie about sexual abuse. Accusations of abuse should always be taken very seriously. 5%, or less, of sexual abuse allegations are intentionally false.

Myth 2. People who were sexually abused will become/are more likely to become sexual abusers.
Fact: Those raised in physically or emotionally abusive homes are very likely to become abusive because that is the way they learned to behave; it's how they learned that a home should be run and discipline administered. Sexually abused people rarely become abusers later. There are many, many times more victims than perpetrators of sexual abuse. This is true of both males and females.

Myth 3. Priests become sexual abusers because of their vow of celibacy.
Fact: The percentage of priests accused and/or convicted of sexual abuse is the same as the percentage of accused and convicted pedophiles in the rest of the population. The vast majority of sexual abusers do not take a vow of celibacy and do engage in sexual acts with other adults. They have a preference for adults who look extremely young.

Myth 4. Most pedophiles are "gay," or have homosexual tendencies.
Fact: the majority of sexual abusers of both boys and girls are heterosexual men. They date, sleep with, and often marry women, with a strong preference for women who look like young girls or seem childlike in some ways. There is no correlation between SSAs/homosexual behavior with other consenting adults, and pedophilia.

Myth 4. You can always recognize a pedophile, they will seem strange and look and behave in an unusual, disturbing or deviant manner. They will be loners and weirdos on the edge of society. They will be poor, probably addicted to drugs. They live in ghettos and slums [this is a symptom of classism and/or racism btw].
Fact: Pedophiles  come from every ethnic, religious, political and socio-economic, occupational, and cultural group. You cannot predict pedophilia by anyones income, race, occupation, tastes, or by their bad habits (or lack thereof) such as smoking, drinking, swearing, spitting, or even other criminal behaviors (or lack thereof) such as drug use. They behave normally in public, are usually extremely charming, persuasive, and can easily win people over. They are frequently everybody's favorite. This is why they are able to gain parents'/guardians'/care-givers' trust in order to access victims, and to manipulate victims into compliance and/or silence. They are often very well-liked and popular, and may be either male or female. They do not appear threatening.

Make sure you note that pedophiles may be male or female. Women can abuse too, both boys and girls.

Five steps to preventing or stopping sexual abuse:
Know warning signs
Control access
Monitor Programs
Be Aware
Communicate concerns

How to spot a pedophile (Knowing Warning signs):
More excited about socializing with kids than adults.
May have house full of toys (especially concerning if they do not have any kids).
Always wanting to touch kids (not necessarily sexual touching).
Keeps bringing kids over all the time.
"The rules do not apply to me."
     * encourages/lets kids do things that are actually not allowed
     * Gives kids opportunity to engage in forbidden or risky activities or activities their parents do not approve of.
     * Gives kids items their parents do not approve of them having.
     * Generally acts like the rules do not apply to them. Taking pictures without asking, for example,
         Taking kids into unauthorized areas or whatever else, not demonstrating customary respect for parental authority or approval processes.
     * Gives gifts to children without asking parents permission first

Warning signs that a child has been/may have been sexually abused (Knowing Warning signs):
Sudden changes in behaviors
Grades drop
Outbursts of anger


How to approach a young person you suspect may be a victim
Talk with kids patiently, let stuff come out
Let kids know you'll listen to them
Talk to them often
Let kids know you'll listen and not blame them

Creating a Safe Church (Control Access, Monitoring Programs) Some adults should be kept as far from kids as possible. Controlling access is about keeping people like this away from children as much as possible.

Screen all volunteers - Background Checks, reference checks, etc.
Know where kids are at all times
Parents (but only parents) should be allowed to visit a class or daycare center.
Monitor all programs. Some people start new church programs without proper permission. DO NOT                  TOLERATE THIS! Make sure all programs go through approval process, no exceptions.
Lock all unused rooms

Keeping Your Kids Safe
* Realize that, as a parent, you have a right to visit your child's class or daycare center any time. Make sure your child's daycare center or class allows this, and that they follow procedures for making sure it really is you coming to visit. Drop in on the class or daycare unexpectedly sometimes. If you ever experience resistance to this, regardless of the excuse given, use a different daycare and advise people to avoid that one.
* DO NOT put a computer in a child or teen's bedroom
* Be on your kids facebook and routinely look at all their friends' profiles and photos.
* DO NOT allow kids to post personal photos online under any circumstances, nor post pictures of them on yours. If you use the 'net to share these photos with geographically distant loved ones, then make sure you use the "custom" setting and share the pics only with those people. Remove any location tags. Don't share any information about your kids online. Pedophiles love the web, they use fb and children's sites to find victims. They will be looking at your baseball/fishing, whatever photos the wrong way, possibly compiling a scrapbook with your kids in it. If they know your location, any activities or clubs your kids are in and get any clues about the is schedule (they'll be tracking it), your kids' interests, things they get annoyed about (bait, rapport-building, and bonding material)... disaster in the making! None of us want to think we have any of these people in our circles, but we all are just as likely to as anyone, sadly. They act normal. Never take chances!
* Know where your children are at all times

Communicating Concerns
Communicate your concerns to other adults. E.g. you see someone taking pictures of kids and/or
      learn someone has a photo album full of other people's kids/minors. It's weird. Say something to someone about it.
Trust your instincts - if something seems off, say something to the person or their supervisor. "What are you doing?" Excuse me, why are you..." You aren't accusing them of being pedophiles, you are checking out what is going on. An innocent person has no reason to object. This lets pedophiles know that they are being watched.
Confront people who think the rules do not apply to them. E.g. If someone gives your kids things without asking you, stop them and tell them you would appreciate if they would ask you first, even if you are acquainted/know them. If someone is handing out unauthorized presents to kids, ask them why, and if they have asked the kids' parents. Tell the pastor or some other person in charge. Say something to the parents if you can. You get the idea.
ANYONE can report suspected abuse with the child abuse hotline, and as long as you made the report in good faith, you cannot get in trouble. Anonymous reports are also ok.
Always report abuse if a child reports it to you.
More Ways to Prevent Abuse:
Whether you suspect abuse or not, let kids in your life know you'll listen, and talk to them often. Acknowledge them. Pedophiles actively seek and are quick to pick up on a child who feels they have no one to talk to or has unmet emotional needs. They use these needs to get close and to win their trust and affection. Abusers do not exclusively pick on the already abused or kids who are lonely or bullied or feel they have no one to talk to, but those kids are easier to make connections to because they are needy. Children who have trusted adults and know they can talk to their parents are more likely to tell when they have been given things they shouldn't have, or offered opportunities to do what they aren't allowed to do. Pedophiles do those things (see above"How ot spot an abuser> "The rules do not apply to me") in order to find out who will tell. This is how they sort of thin the herd of kids they gather around themselves, and decide who to victimize. You may have heard they single out their victims, these are common ways they do so. (DO NOT blame yourself if you were victimized, after being given forbidden things you wanted and not telling, Do not blame kids/teens if this happens to them. This is never their fault).

Report abuse to the law if a child reports it to you. Even with the steps they take to "screen" victims and eliminate kids who are likely to tell, the average convicted child molester is told-on 5 times before any legal action is taken. Five times! That is just not right. If authorities were consistently notified the first time a child reports abuse, the other four who would eventually tell, plus all the ones who would not tell, might not be abused at all. The number of kids being abused could go down by at least 80%, based on that number! If you are told about abuse by a child, it is your responsibility to report it to authorities and/or to parents if a child tells you this. It may be illegal not to, depending where you live.
Here is the child abuse hotline's website if you need more information. https://www.childhelp.org/hotline/This is the number: 1-800 -4-A-CHILD that is 1-800-422-4453. That applies to Americans only, or course. If you do not know your countries hotline number (or if there is one) you should probably look that up, unless you truly neither have kids, nor know or ever see any.

Be careful at fairs, amusement parks and water parks, and other crowded, noisy places. One convicted pedophile interviewed for this research said he'd loved water parks. He got a lot of video plus a lot of "accidental" touching in the wave pool. He said they were some of the best places to go, for a pedophile. Beware, do not let kids go about unsupervised in crowded public places, and keep them very close to you in water parks. Stay right by them and be very watchful - be their bodyguard - if you do go into the wave-pool, but ideally you should probably avoid it.

Never let children go tot the public bathrooms by themselves, no matter how upset they get. This author experienced the consequences of that mistake first-hand, many years ago, and in a church the family only visited once.
While most instances of sexual abuse/assault are committed by someone the victim knows [also true of the sexual assault of adults], usually trust is built and a relationship developed with the parents, whether it is at a church or another social event/hub. That is still not 100% of cases. Asmall percntage of those who abuse children are doing so out of hate, not attraction, and it more like the common motivations for sexual assault of adults - control, dominance, perhaps cruelty. This type of act may also involve physical abuse and/or murder. This type of person may take kids by force from a mall or store, or assault them in the bathroom, They are indeed out there, and we all need to be aware.
 All churches are still located in this fallen world and have fallen people in it of every possible sort, just like the rest of this planet. The doors are open to the public, anyone can open them and enter. Do not take chances with your kids.

Check the state police website for a list/map of the local registered sex offenders and become aware of convicted abusers in your area. Warn you family and others about them.
I expect to do a blog on navigating the websites for the sex offender registries in this series. Look for it within a week or so.

Godspeed.

~Mother Star

What I Have Learned About Mary

What I have learned about Mary.

Mary was, of course, Jesus' mom. One of the worst things that can happen to someone is to lose their kids and in her case, she didn't just lose him, she saw him crucified. That's a horrible way to die. She really went through a lot in her walk with God and in her obedience to God's call to be Jesus' mom.

Therefore,  I can believe the doctrine that Mary was assumed into heaven like Elijah and Enoch. Having him grow inside her would have created quite a bond, plus going through seeing the crucifixion. Neither Elijah nor Enoch could have suffered quite like her, or had opportunity to be that close to the Lord and develop so unique a relationship with the Lord as Mary. Therefore, once I think about it, I would actually find it harder to believe that she wasn't Assumed into heaven than that she was. There is no grave, anymore than there is a record of her rapture. Its something one has to just pray about and decide what they believe. Either way, its taken on faith. Once I considered it, it takes more faith for me to continue to  believe she wasn't. The only thing challenging about it for me is that it is a totally new concept to me.

As to the perpetual virginity, I didn't accept that for a long time because for a Jewish woman, that would have been like God giving somebody some radical "special grace" never to pray again! Sex in marriage is a Miztvah, in Judaism. Its like a sacrament is to Catholics and Lutherans and Orthodox and all the other liturgical churches... Its connected to holiness and is a part of participating in the life of faith - if one is married. Then my friend Mike who is an ordained Protestant minister and was studying the Orthodox church told me about a book called the Evangelion. Its written by James, the (step) Brother of Jesus. The book had used to be bound with it, and the Orthodox church still holds it sacred, although its not canonized as actual scripture as far as I know. Its Sacred in that it gives important historical insights and context and eyewitness testimony of things like the virgin birth and such. "Sola Scriptura" - scripture alone, was a Luther thing. The older churches all have something called sacred tradition and other things that they use to interpret the bible, and count them as Sacred along with the Bible, since it's kind of hard to understand scripture correctly without it. James wrote that Mary was indeed a virgin when Jesus was conceived and born, and also for the rest of her life. James' mom had died. His dad was very old, and did not feel he should remarry since he was so old, especially not someone as young as Mary. He married her because it became very clear that God wanted him to, long story short.
The reason Jesus had to get somebody else, specifically John, to look after his mom after he went to the cross was because she had no other kids. He was her only son, her only child. He had step-siblings though. “Thy mother and thy brethren are looking for you” it was Mary and His step siblings. James probably wrote all that to give eyewitness testimony that Jesus was indeed born of a virgin and such like. None of the gospels are eye-witness accounts of that particular part. James said that Jesus was virgin-born, and that Mary stayed a virgin all her life. Mike says James hinted that his dad couldn't actually do anything to change that... Joseph was extremely uncomfortable with the idea of sleeping with her because God himself had lived inside her. That plus he was very old.
James' writings about family life with Jesus were typically bound with the Bible, I guess. In his research, Mike says he learned that Catholicism tossed James' accounts of Jesus upbringing and his family stuff when the King James Bible was made. There was a compromise between Catholics and Protestants on the KJV Bible since King James wanted to make a Bible everyone would accept in order to unify his country. Protestants wanted the Evangelion of James removed because it supported doctrine that they did not maintain. Mike never found anything challenging its authorship, just “We don't want it in there because it supports doctrine that we don't have.” Mike didn't believe in the perpetual virginity either, until he read that book. So now I do actually believe in it too.
Mike has since started a ministry that includes Orthodox, Messianic Jews, Catholics, and Protestant Christians and gets everybody working together to reach out. He says some pentecostal ministers he knows try and explain their discomfort saying, “The perpetual virginity isn't in the Bible.” Mike's like, “They basically used to be. They were removed in order to prevent anything support those doctrines. Its not that the doctrines were made-up with no support or apostolic testimony. People changed the doctrines, then removed the texts that supported the beliefs that they didn't accept.” I'm annoyed actually, because for example, atheists on facebook made an anti-Christian cartoon, showing a fundamentalist tearing into aspects of Darwin's theory that aren't rock-solid-proven, then they are asked if Jesus was born of a virgin and if so how do they know. They said, smiling, "Yes, absolutely, because somebody is said to have written something to confirm it, that we don't have."  The truth is, we did have it and some people (Orthodox churches) still do. it was thrown out of the Catholic church because of denominationalism, basically. The Vatican and King James and the Protestant leaders were trying to stop rioting and war between Christians. Its totally embarrassing and shameful, but that's basically how it unfolded as far as I can so far tell. :( Now, without the apostolic account that the doctrine is based on, catholic teaching on the subject has Joseph, of an unknown age, living in celibacy with his wife in order to support God's call on her life to stay pure forever in honor of Jesus having been carried in her body.
I can see bits of the truth in there, like Joseph was wigged out because God had lived in her womb, and he felt he might be defiling, possibly, if he consummated the marriage. But in the absence of the foundation, the story has gotten a bit warped. They removed it to compromise with Protestants though. Of course you'll not likely hear that from catholic catechists, but that's what happened as far as I know now.
My thought is, Joseph married Mary out of submission to the will of God, not on his own will. He was old and extremely nervous about being with her after she carried God in her body. He submitted to God to be Mary and Jesus' protector and provider, and thus supported Mary's calling to be Jesus' mother. If God wished for her to stay a virgin forever, He picked the right guy for that, too. The East and West remain divided partly because of those minute differences in their doctrines, but I don't think they're incompatible. Joseph submitted to God to marry Mary, it was God's will not his. The call of God on Mary's life plus possibly Joseph's great age, brought it about that she was a virgin all her life, like the Lord intended. Mike says she was in a religious vocation at the temple, much like  what we call a nun, but for some reason it was decided that she should marry, and when the will of God was sought as to who it should be, it became obvious that God wanted Joseph for the job. If there were vows involved in that vocation she had previously been in, she never had to break them... Long story short, I see the two doctrines as very compatible. The Orthodox church has a document of apostolic authorship to back its story, the Catholic church doesn't. So I am inclined to side with the East if an argument arises but really, I don't see them as being incompatible.
It was James' testimony, relayed to me through my friend, that made me believe in the perpetual virginity. 

That leaves the Immaculate conception. I don't have anything to support it, really. The Immaculate conception is not the belief that Mary never committed any sins, but that she was born without original sin in order to make a pure vessel to carry Jesus in. I guess I can see the thinking behind it, so it doesn't bother me like it used to would have, but obviously I don't have anything to support that. Belief is a choice here, and I don't think it takes more faith to believe it, but less, like Jesus would be contaminated if it weren't for Mary's Immaculate conception. Mary could be born without original sin form a mom who had it, but God himself couldn't. IT doesn't increase my faith to believe that. Its not that I need to exercise my faith to believe it is possible. I chose, based on the fact that God seemed to be calling me to the Catholic church, to try embracing this doctrine. It has not done anything to help my faith, really. If anything it weakens it. So I am putting this one back on the shelf and saying, "Maybe. But I don't think so." I won't completely rule it out, but I don't think it was necessary, and if anything, the opposite may have been, but again I am not completely sure of that either.

So, I have still come a long way from my previous position on the Marian dogmas, and for awhile I embraced all four, and at the moment I won't rule the fourth out, but I am not really on board with it that much.

~Mother Star

My Most Powerful Good Friday Ever

Well, Dickens said it well when he said, "It was the best of times it was the worst of times."
On Good Friday this year, I was under the impression that my dad did not want to speak to me anymore. Therefore, when I thought about Jesus' agony in the garden, knowing he was soon to become sin for us and accept our punishment and out judgment from the Father, I could relate. It was an amazingly painful situation, but through meditating on how well Jesus understood my pain, it made this the most powerful Good Friday of my life.

I really enjoyed the Paschal Triduum. In the Protestant Church, we had to cram the whole thing into an Easter Sunday Service. It was awesome every time. Being raised Pentecostal, I was used to prayers for everyone who needed it on almost any Sunday. I noticed that more people actually got healed when prayed for on Easter Sunday. It is a powerful time and has always been, at least for me.

It didn't work quite that way in the Catholic church, it was still very special and restorative. One of my old friends who has gotten out of fellowship and into a lot of weird or heretical teachings came to my confirmation. It was nice that he went to church, for once.

The staff advisor of the PRIDE chapter at my community college was there on Good Friday. His husband (in the states eyes, but obviously not in God's) and the kids they have both adopted were not there, though. He was there alone, for some reason. He  kissed he cross and walked out singing, "Jesus remember me when you come into your kingdom," and left before they served communion.
He sang solos at the Saturday Vigil, and was in the choir for the special music. Again, the man he is involved with and the kids they are raising together were not there.
I pray for God to draw him, and to bring healing to his life, to the other man's life, and to do a profound work in those children's life.

I was invited to my Methodist Friend's Good Friday service. They sang a hymn about how Sunday's palms are Wednesday's ashes. Both churches sang a black spiritual called "Were you there when they crucified my Lord?" Both churches read a lot of the same verses and said similar or same prayers. I was allowed to take communion there even though I am not Methodist, while at St Patrick's it was the last time that I couldn't. Communion is a powerful experience for me, even when I was Protestant. I had been really missing that while going through RCIA.


All this time I was thinking I had no blood-family anymore, except my mom. I later learned there was a problem with the phones that was really strange and I am glad my dad did not actually turn away from me in real life.
I sent my dad an email on Good Friday Evening, from an email address he did not have in case he had blocked me. A few days later I got a text message that said, "I LOVE YOU!" from him. I called and we figured out what had happened, bit not how it had happened. Somehow, his number in my phone got edited and one digit changed, and he wasn't getting my messages. It was someone else's phone that was set, at the subscriber's request, not to accept my calls.
 Jesus was also restored to His father. My dad told me emphatically that he would never, ever, do such a thing, he would never decide he did not want to be in my life. I hope that this is true. I know it is true of the Father I reached for when I thought that my earthly dad had turned away from me. It was a crazy mix-up of communication devices there an it caused a lot of pain, but it also helped make this the most wonderful Good Friday service ever.

On telling the truth that hurts/offends

Lots of people complain about ANY Christian who stands by the Bible on homosexual behavior.
I already told my tale of battling this temptation for years myself and how bad it hurt when people handled this truth-telling obligation the wrong way, but I want to illustrate the point with a different sin, since sin is the same thing no matter what form it takes.

When I think of people speaking truth that is not comfortable and someone being alienated as a result, I think of when I was admiring this particular group of people.
They do really interesting things like trapeze artists or sort of like dancing in the air and swinging around, but they are hanging by huge hooks shoved through the skin on their backs and shoulders. The swinging and such they are doing is pulling harder on those wounds. It would be pretty cool if they weren't hanging by really big piercings, but they are, so... it's not.

It was on Ripley's believe it or not, and they were explaining the deeper meaning s of "body altercation" it is a meditation/zen type thing but instead of relaxing into an altered state of consciousness, one shocks themselves into one through self-torture. Very demonic, and more clearly so than T.M. or some other unhealthy spiritual things people sometimes do. I was totally enthralled and in love with it.

My dad and sister got upset (probably the one thing they should not have done though, lose their cool and yell), and dad talked about how we treat our temple and quoted a verse, I don't remember which. He said, "drinking isn't as bad as that!" (which is wrong, getting drunk is a sin, just like this is). He said doing this to yourself is like doing this to Jesus (he was right, it hurts Jesus to see stuff like this as if we did it to Him).

I got offended and accused them of judging. I think I quoted or misquoted some lame verse all out of context. I went on like they were mistaken about what they were saying. My dad corrected my obvious error, which I then disagreed with and said he was judging and tried to act like I was being the nice, Christ-like one taking the high road and he wasn't, and like he didn't make logical sense. He also said having pleasure in someone else doing it is as bad or worse than actually doing it, and I think he also mentioned that Christians aren't supposed to revel in things that hurt God, and that you can't minister to people by doing that, but maybe my memory injected that because I know it now in hindsight. I'm not sure...
My sister said something like, "You know its wrong and you don't have anything to say to prove it isn't. You just won't admit it because you think it's cool." I was FURIOUS, and yes, I was further alienated from them in this argument. Would a different response have helped? I doubt it. If they had soft-pedaled it, like saying, "Maybe we see the Word differently and that's just fine. I don't agree with it but you should do whatever's in your heart. I'll try to keep an open mind..." Then it would have planted a seed of confusion more than I already had! I really believe that. Later, when I let God deal with me and renew my mind/spirit, I got over that unhealthy perception - with a vengeance.

Sometimes truth actually hurts. The truth that homosexuality was a sin hurt a lot when I was tempted for it, but I still accepted it as truth and persevered until I was free, until my thoughts lined up more with God's thoughts.. Even if folks get upset, when they are willfully doing what they should know is wrong and are choosing not to know better, they need to hear the truth even if they hate it, just like I did.

Since ALL sin looks like this (above) to God, telling someone its ok to continue in sin is like advocating for THIS in the name of Jesus and in the name of love - and actually very strong emotional bonds form between the practitioners of this "art." People are drawn to it, as I was, by a sense of connection, belonging, strength, "beauty", a lure of "freedom" (believe it or not), a "high" caused by an altered state of consciousness, plus maybe other stuff.

Now, if I were reaching out to the guys doing this, I would NOT handle it the same way; only a person who claims to know Christ who did that or was enjoying watching something like that (like I once did) requires such heavy handedness. If I was talking to the men themselves, I would have to be less "dogmatic", if you will, because they are on the outside. They need truth too, yes, but do not carry the responsibility of being salt and light that professing Christians do. These guys are not being hypocrites or misrepresenting Christ to the world; they are just the regular lost that all of us have been.

Today, I feel bad for those guys instead of admiring or envying them, and sickened by people who look on with relish. ALL sin looks like this to God, in the spirit realm - be it drinking, or porn, or homosexual actions, or B&D/S&M, or T.M. or Wicca or "the Left-hand Path," or lying, or stealing, or enjoying watching this kind of stuff, or anything else. Sin is sin, period. It is destructive to us on the inside and it hurts God to watch it, like this should probably hurt to watch especially if you were the mother/father of someone in this film, which I have cut screenshots out of to spare you having to watch it in case you feel you probably shouldn't or are not allowed to by parents (for good reasons).

 I think we all look like that (above) to God and angels when we sin and pursue sin, and like justify it or whatever. We sit there hurting ourselves like crazy and think that it's great. We might even want to let the world know or raise awareness of how great it is and how wrong anyone who insists that its wrong is. Other times, we might point our finger at someone else's sin who disagrees with us and say "Look how wrong they are...! That means I'm right!" or some other ridiculousness.
We just can't understand why a God who loves us would absolutely demand that we stop.
Truthfully though, how could He love us and not?

Godspeed

~Mother Star

Adventures in RCIA: An Updated Discussion on Mariology

On the Virgin birth, obviously I have always believed it and always will.
As to the perpetual virginity, the story of the Virgin of Guadalupe got me wondering and I went from disbelieving to wondering. Later, a friend who is studying the Orthodox church read a book by St.  James, who was Jesus' step-brother. In this book, James says Mary was indeed a virgin all her life because of his father's advanced age. He hinted that Joseph couldn't actually do anything about that, basically.
This differs from the Catholic teaching that she remained a virgin all her life due to a call to do so from God, but it does give an explanation for the perpetual virginity of a married Jewish woman. Being called by God to stay in that marriage, and after Joseph's death to be celibate and give herself to ministry, doesn't clash with anything she would likely have believed, as far as I know.
I therefore can assent to the perpetual virginity of Mary, in light of this further information.

As far as her ascension, she would not be the only person besides Jesus to do this. Enoch went that way and so did Elijah. All of the oldest churches believe this, including the Copts. I don't have legitimate reason not to. Therefore, I do.

Regarding the Immaculate conception, I am still unsure. It doesn't make any more sense to me than it did before. The only improvement I have in this area is that I can believe all the other ones. I do not believe that thinking this will send someone to hell. I have my doubts, serious doubts, but still,.. I think belief is a choice. I am going to pray about it, and consider if God would have a problem with my choosing to believe it until further evidence is offered that she wasn't. It may help me, in some ways, as far as theneed for a female role-model, and with this revised understanding of perpetual virginity, I would not have an obstacle to that anymore, especially since right now I am single.
I expect I will proceed as if she was, and just go from there, and if God wants me to not believe that, then He will be able to tell me. Right now, I feel called to the Catholic church and sense in my spirit that God is going to straighten out the reservations I have about gender roles. I hope so.
So, at this time I do, with some minimal reservation, accept the Catholic teaching on Mary.


Godspeed.

~Mother Star.

Adventures in RCIA: My First Lenten Season

Well, I think we're about half-way through Lent.
Yesterday was Friday and I ate meat. I forgot until it was too late.
I think last week I did not, but I can't remember. I have been able to abstain from chocolate and sweets.
I have a Valentine's heart full of chocolates and an organic fair trade dark chocolate bar sitting on a stand near my bed, and I have not touched them.

There are certain things I really wanted to stop doing through this season of repentance, and at first I was doing ok, but lately I have not been doing as well. I have "Gotten back up" to some extent, but not to the degree I would like. I have not yet been to confession.

What I have succeeded in dong is praying more and worshiping more. I have been working my way through the Book of Sirach, whereas for a while I had not been doing much scripture reading. I think this increase in scripture reading is going to give me the wherewithal to get the victory I am really hoping for in certain areas of my life.