NEVER! GIVE!UP! - Second Chances Sometimes Bring Unique Dilemmas

Job hunting, On unemployment. Sadly, on food stamps too. Hate that.
Turns out, four introductory courses that I need for the Graphic Art Degree are running in the Spring. It is not too late to sign up. I filled out the FAFSA and am eligible for full Pell Grant, Stafford Direct Student Loans, and Work Study. All my jobs were work-study jobs when I was in school before. If my overheads had been as low, and my prospects as high then, and if I had known then what I know now, things would have been much better for me during that time. I would have taken out a student loan and bought a car, so I would have tremendously better employment prospects.
In a two-year school, you don't get your funds from scholarships or financial aid until February or March, and classes start in January. You get just enough of your Financial Aid money to cover books at the start of the Semester. Then you get half of what's left of student loans in February and the other half in March. If anything is left of your scholarships or Grants, you get it in March or April. Classes start in January, this year it is on the 12th. It would be at least a month before I could start seriously car shopping, and it would still have to be a very cheap car. It would at least be a car though, and I could answer "Yes" to application questions about dependable transportation, plus I would be studying for a high-demand, high paying job that is creative.
I can do it all over again, and replace the car, which will also get rid of my obstacle for the investing I was to be doing. An ugly car keeps a person from being taken seriously, as does appearing not to have one, so wither way I was going to be toast. Going to school will also limit my availability to potential employers and narrow down my options in certain ways, too. On the whole though, it would probably still be better as far as forward progress.
Here's the dilemma: If I do it all over again though, and major in the right thing this time so I will be able to get a job and be creative, I will lose my unemployment and the other assistance. Treatment for depression and anxiety, which were aggravated very badly by the events of the past year, will stop because I will lose my health insurance. Taking six credits or more knocks out food stamps and medic-aid unless you are disabled or have children under 12. Going to school at all can knock out unemployment. 70% of people who apply for work-study jobs do not get them, because there aren't enough to go around. It will be a risk, because I'll either find a job very quickly or life will be asking much more of me daily, while giving me a lot less to do it with, for however long.
When I started school before, I gave up my food-stamps, which was my only income at the time, risking not being able to survive in order to hopefully live better. I thought, "If I don't do this, I will never find a good job, and I will always be dependent on someone. I will try this and if I don't make it, then at least I will die doing my best." That's what I thought. I did not major in the right stuff though, because I did not know any better.
If we go ahead and buy this house on CFD under the right terms, my roommate's rent will offset some of this but not all. So I have some investigating to do to verify that the right terms are indeed available. Either way it will still be a  risk to take.
My RCIA Class could be jeopordized if I take a full 12 credits, because the only possible 4th class will overlap it by 50 minutes. Even then, I could only do it if someone gave me a ride home on Monday and Wednesday nights. With 12 credits, unemployment would be guaranteed to be gone, but I am not sure if it would be absolutely gone if I took less. I will have to find out.

If I don't go through with it, then I may have very little chance of much improvement until Spring or Summer. It could also be longer, because there would be a huge gap in my employment by that time if I can't find something right now.

I will update when I have my answers.

Godspeed.

~Mother Star

Lessons From Catching Fire: Cinna's Sacrifice

To all you boys who got called "fags" and other cruel names for liking to take care of yourself and for having an artistic skill-set, especially those who never let them label you, who never gave in to who they told you you were, I dedicate this one to you.

There are so many lessons to be learned from this trilogy, but this one stands out in my mind.
Traditionally, guys who fix people's hair and clothes are deemed un-masculine and are not associated with bravery or valor. This is true in nearly every movie ever made in which such characters are found. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire offers us an exception.
Also worth note, there is no reference, implied or otherwise, to this stylist's sexual orientation. None. Not in either of the movies the character is found in. That's a very definite break with traditional Hollywood stereotypes. This is a very welcome change because those stereotypes are exactly that: stereotypes. And cliches. They limit people in so many ways.

Introduced in The Hunger Games as Katniss's stylist, Cinna is the first person she meets after she leaves home that addresses her plight honestly and with genuine compassion. That alone should make him stand out, but it is in Catching Fire that Cinna really makes his mark.





Katniss was sixteen years old, taken from her family as "tribute" to be put into an arena with 23 other teens to fight to the death until only one survived. The event was to be televised live to the whole country, including her family and friends. She had a very slim chance of surviving, since kids from the wealthier districts trained for this contest while her district, the poorest of all, never learned anything about fighting. Most people in the Capitol pretended that everything was great and congratulated her, of all things. Cinna was honest with himself, and with her, about the nature of his work - a sharp contrast to everyone else working with the Hunger Games in any way.
If Katniss could impress some wealthy people who help fund the games, sponsors, they may help her through the battle with any needed supplies. Without that, she was absolutely doomed.
Cinna couldn't stop the "games," but he used his skills in aesthetics to help every "tribute" placed in his care. He knew his efforts could help save their lives, not by stopping the games and sparing all the innocent young people sent to them, but by helping the one person in front of him to survive. That was all he all do - at first.
Because of Cinna's genius, Katniss was dubbed "the girl on fire." He also advised her on how to carry herself to impress and even on what facial expression to use. Because of both Cinna's skill and Katniss's valor, Haymitch was able to convince a sponsor to send medicine for her when she was injured and cornered. Cinna's efforts truly helped to keep her alive.

Katniss had genuinely cared about another tribute, an eleven-year old named Rue, and tried to protect her, to no avail. Katniss's concern for others even above her own life made her a symbol for the rebellion.This symbol, this figurehead, inspired many in the country to stand againt the tyrannical Capitol, even at the cost of their lives. The revolutionaries in the various districts call her "The Mockingjay" after a pin from her home that she wore in the games, and in recognition of her communication with Rue. She and Rue's signal was to whistle at mockingjays and let the birds relay the song. President Snow and his cronies in the Capitol conspired to destroy "The Mockingjay" bodily, and in the people's minds. They made a special event for that purpose, taking previous victors like Katniss as "tributes" for the next games.
Cinna now had an opportunity to save not only Katniss, but his country, with his skills. However, it could not be done without putting his own neck on the chopping block.
President snow demanded a wedding dress. This was to draw attention to the fact that he was preventing her wedding, making sure that either she or fiance would live through the games, or neither of them would. Either way, the love story that enraptured the nation and defied the Hunger Games' rules would be decimated. The intent was to snuff out the hope she had stirred in so many people. Cinna complied with the demand to put her in a wedding dress, but he "made a few alterations" to keep the fire of hope alive across his nation.
You can see what his final creation here:




Peeta made up a story about their marrying in secret and expecting a baby, which woke the very deluded and desensitized Capitol city's attention to how evil their government really was. The Cinna's and Peeta's creativity and skill combined with Katniss's obvious inner strength to stir up resentment against the status quo, and bring hope that things could be better.
The thing is, all of the tributes who joined hands in solidarity with the "couple" were practically as good as dead and had little to lose; they were in the same plight as Katniss and Peeta. Many of them tried to kill the pair as soon as the games began. Cinna, on the other hand, could have gone on with his illustrious career as the most successful designer in the Capitol by just complying with orders and doing business as usual. Instead, he used his considerable artistic talents to encourage the revolution.
He paid the ultimate price for doing so



If you've seen the start of the film, you know this is what happens when someone who publicly supports the rebellion gets dragged out and executed. Katniss has helplessly witnessed this many times. She knows what is going on. Something in Cinna's expression as he hugs her makes me think he knew it was coming, too.

The lesson: Not all valor is tried with swords and firearms. Sometimes it is done with a make-up brush, a pattern, and a sewing machine. Even in Hollywood.
Sometimes it is the "supporting role" who really carries the torch.

Godspeed.

~Mother Star