Pushing Too Hard for Change?

Expressing the truth about our lives and sounding off about what we believe in is risky.
One of the risks is lost relationships.

Telling the story about the battle I had with "sexual orientation" has cost me at least one connection. Predictably, I was branded as a hater in spite of exposing the genuinely hateful behavior by some people on the right in the process of testifying to my deliverance and transformation. I say it is not out of your control, not really, and immediately that makes me the enemy (For the people who do not wish to believe that perverse "sexual orientation" is not inborn, fixed, and part of who someone is,).

It is one thing to not want to see yourself differently, or behave differently, than you do; it is another thing to get angry at people for saying or demonstrating that one has a choice in the matter.
If there is nothing wrong with your behavior, why is it threatening for someone to say that you have an option to do otherwise? The only thing that changes is it makes you responsible for how you are acting or who you believe you are. Why do you need to be powerless and without a choice in the matter? Does having a choice make you feel like you've chosen wrong? Why is offering examples that show that you have a choice a threat in any way unless you do not feel right about it?

Other people feel strongly about entertainment, and do not feel that the message or ideals expressed in any entertainment or art should count for anything. If anyone dislikes an artist for standing up, lets say for "white supremacy," some people will get upset because they think the person is being judgmental.
I personally will not support an artist who objectifies or demeans women, or who is openly racist or advocates violence (I mean they say in interviews and such that they are white supremacists or something). Some people feel strongly enough about artists not being accountable for their message and such, that they actively dislike people like me. If you confront social issues and the role the media plays in them by only supporting people who do not add to the problem, these individuals may take serious issue with you.

On the other hand, there are people I take issue with too. Agreeing with Satan's plan for someones life and telling them that God made them gay, allegedly in the name of "God's love," is so severe to me, I will delete you from facebook or Tsu over it.

I will not delete a person for self-identifying as gay. I WILL delete them if they use God as a support for the morality of acting that out, though. That is trying to use God to say the opposite of what God says. So-called "Gay theology" is every bit as unloving as throwing a "gay" person onto burning tires, tied up; it is just a more insidious form of working for the devil than violence is. I would delete a person for supporting the violent, and more blatantly unloving behavior too - and for the same reason. They are using Christ as a support for something He came and suffered to destroy, namely, sin. In the first case, the sin is homosexual behavior. in the second case it is violence and hatred. It does not matter why you hate a person, it could be because they beat up your mother and stole all her savings. You can't hate people. If people sin against you, you must forgive. If they sin in a way that does not directly affect you, you have to care about them in spite of it. Both Westboro Baptist Church and the"Gay Christian" crowd are  abusing the Gospel, and I will delete both kinds of people just as readily, and for the same basic reason.

It can be a hard line to walk on occasion, trying to stand for what you know to be right and also try to be tolerant and love people regardless of what they do. I disassociate from those who use God to justify moral wrongs, and from people who dehumanize, demean,  or objectify groups, like women or racial groups. Sometimes I cut people slack if I think they are just truly ignorant and may get better as their knowledge grows, or if they are definitely on the mend in an area and are acting out of where they are in their pain but are progressing, like aware they have issues and are doing what they can to work through it. Those exceptions are very rare though, not because few people have issues but because so few are willing to recognize it or work to change it.

I often battle with whether I am too hard on people, especially when someone becomes offended with me the same way. What I have decided to do is accept it as "just what it is". Somebody felt as strongly about what I did as I do about people abusing the gospel. As far as I know, it means they are very strongly deceived about something. Do I get angry? Not anymore. It hurts less than it used to as well, mostly because I know my own boundaries and am increasingly comfortable with them. I still pray for the people, sometimes more than I did before, due to the "very strongly deceived" part.

With a lot of consideration, I feel more comfortable with the boundaries I set in these areas. I feel I am on a positive path because it is also making more able to accept the same treatment from others, even if I don't agree with them. Perhaps this rant is helpful to someone else, as it has helped me so much to write it.
I hope so.




Godspeed.

~Mother Star

Surviving Depression - Questions I Sometimes Have

I did not finish my profile on eharmony.com because answering a lot of the questions honestly right now would paint a picture of me in a condition I do not desire to stay in.
Do I need to wait until I recover from this and have my chemicals balanced out before looking for a mate?
I was thinking probably yes. Who will want to put up with the condition I am in? In addition, I wonder how I would handle temptation in the condition I am in too. I read in a book, This is Your Brain on Love, that of all mental health disorders, depression destroys more relationships than anything else.

However, I am now talking to someone who I found on a dating site.
I find that it has lifted my spirits a bit. It is almost like I needed something to fight for.
I have been fighting for my dreams for so long, in what has often seemed like a losing battle.
There is nothing romantic in our conversations at this point, but we are both on that site being very open to that possibility. Both of us are wise enough to start out looking for a friend, then consider whether we want there to be anything else. Just the slight possibility of romance makes me want to keep fighting, to be sure I am "ready" when and if the time comes to actually officially start dating anybody, like to actually go on a date...

I know of one person with major depression who is happily married, and his marriage seems to help his condition. He is doing what makes him happy in life and pursuing the destiny God has for him. He stills suffers bouts of recurring depression, but he gets through it, and I guess knows he will get through it, partly because of the blessings of God in his life such as his wife.
Obviously, she loved him in spite of his condition, and is able to stay with him in spite of his periodic problems without becoming depressed herself.

For me, the ball is now rolling to be able to get some medication soon. Perhaps I will get better after all, at some point. I just hope I don't need the stuff forever.

So I guess what I wonder is how far I can go before I am rid of this problem. I wonder how much I should hold back and wait for, if anything. I also kind of fear I may never fully be rid of it, that it will always be there ready to return and take me down, or that it will never fully go away at all.
What will that mean for my dreams? Perhaps it is still possible to live them; at worst, I guess I would not always be able to enjoy it so much. That still seems rather like a nightmare though...

I guess time will tell how I will respond to treatment and whether I will be cured or not. I hope to have good news and a testimony on that at some point. God, help me; we shall see.

Godspeed.

~Mother Star