Surviving Depression - Questions I Sometimes Have

I did not finish my profile on eharmony.com because answering a lot of the questions honestly right now would paint a picture of me in a condition I do not desire to stay in.
Do I need to wait until I recover from this and have my chemicals balanced out before looking for a mate?
I was thinking probably yes. Who will want to put up with the condition I am in? In addition, I wonder how I would handle temptation in the condition I am in too. I read in a book, This is Your Brain on Love, that of all mental health disorders, depression destroys more relationships than anything else.

However, I am now talking to someone who I found on a dating site.
I find that it has lifted my spirits a bit. It is almost like I needed something to fight for.
I have been fighting for my dreams for so long, in what has often seemed like a losing battle.
There is nothing romantic in our conversations at this point, but we are both on that site being very open to that possibility. Both of us are wise enough to start out looking for a friend, then consider whether we want there to be anything else. Just the slight possibility of romance makes me want to keep fighting, to be sure I am "ready" when and if the time comes to actually officially start dating anybody, like to actually go on a date...

I know of one person with major depression who is happily married, and his marriage seems to help his condition. He is doing what makes him happy in life and pursuing the destiny God has for him. He stills suffers bouts of recurring depression, but he gets through it, and I guess knows he will get through it, partly because of the blessings of God in his life such as his wife.
Obviously, she loved him in spite of his condition, and is able to stay with him in spite of his periodic problems without becoming depressed herself.

For me, the ball is now rolling to be able to get some medication soon. Perhaps I will get better after all, at some point. I just hope I don't need the stuff forever.

So I guess what I wonder is how far I can go before I am rid of this problem. I wonder how much I should hold back and wait for, if anything. I also kind of fear I may never fully be rid of it, that it will always be there ready to return and take me down, or that it will never fully go away at all.
What will that mean for my dreams? Perhaps it is still possible to live them; at worst, I guess I would not always be able to enjoy it so much. That still seems rather like a nightmare though...

I guess time will tell how I will respond to treatment and whether I will be cured or not. I hope to have good news and a testimony on that at some point. God, help me; we shall see.

Godspeed.

~Mother Star

Depression - On Getting Through It

I said I was going to post abut the issue of homosexuality,and I am.
Today however, I feel I need to address depression instead.


The holidays - Thanksgiving, Christmas,and New Year's Day - are generally either highlights of people's year or the hardest time of all. For those of us without families, or with very dysfunctional families, this season tends to bring extreme pain. The sun shines a lot less for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, and this leads to depression for many people as well.

It is a bad time of year, in a lot of ways, for a lot of people. This time of year is called "The winter slump." Many factories have layoffs annually at this time of year. Hours, and sometimes whole jobs/positions, are reduced this time of year and people's bills are higher. People's heating bills are higher, cars cost more to run, Everything takes more time as people often have to drive slower. Some industries will pick up again as early as late January, others will bottom out for the season right about that time. For many people. income will not likely pick back up until the same time that their bills go back down.

If someone is facing economic challenges as well as familial dysfunction, grief over a loved one, or a recent/in-progress divorce, this time of year is an absolute nightmare. Add a physical aspect such as the need for sunlight, and you have a great recipe for misery.

So, how to get through it? I am not currently on any medication, so I have to "just deal with it," right now. Avoiding a lot of sugar, especially chocolate in some cases, can help. Believe it or not, eating certain kinds of foods, like eating a lot of vegetables, can help support the body through this battle. Vitamin D helps as well, since we are inside so much this time of year and our levels of that are probably lower. Give your body the very best fuel you can because depression is not just mental, it is also physical. Helping your body as best as you can will at least reduce the depressing effects of being unhealthy.

Do not sit and watch TV, or play games for the bulk of the day. At first it may help but later you will probably feel lower than you did before. Also, those two things are emotionally addictive, like porn, gambling and other such.

I find that having a "to-do"list helps. I think of it as steps to get out of or change the situation I have. If I make the list too long though, it will backfire and I will not be able to do anything.
Keep up your hygiene as best as you can and try to keep you house/room clean - or at least cleaner. Sometimes depression makes it harder to do any of those things. Pick one aspect to work on, like piling dirty clothes into one place, or washing dishes, or putting dirty dishes in the sink or near it. Pick only one thing. If your place is a mess, what s the main type of thing scattered around? Gather that main thing(s) into piles or stacks, anywhere is better than all over the place. PIck a spot arbitrarily if you must. When it is done you may feel better and be able to pick one or even two more things.
DO NOT think about all the stuff you did not do, or did not yet do. Just think about what you did. In my case, it helps to ask myself what I would do if the mess were made by someone else in my situation and I was there to help them? Then I tackle it the same way. This probably means I do not care about myself enough...

I am embarrassed to post this but I am going to show you my room after several days of increasingly crippling depression. Then what it looks like after I have taken the steps above.

The rest of place is in varying states between the two, and I will probably make a little more progress tonight, but the whole house will not look organized tomorrow. No way.
Now you know, if you are facing crippling depression, that you are not alone and that this monster can be overcome. in increments of nothing else.

 If you get overwhelmed, try to pick a place to start with the things that are overwhelming you. If you are out of work, set a goal to apply for something. Anything. Look up the bus schedules, if you'll be using the bus, and get an idea what time you'd need to be where in order to make it a certain job that is posted. Maybe plan how you would dress for the interview in case you got one. Sometimes this thinking can make things worse, but it might make it better. Try it and see, if you haven't yet.
A saying I heard,though I don't know who said it, "If you think you can't go on,take one more step, and then, if you still think you can't go on, take just one more step..." Really,that is true, and the only way I know how to get through depression like this.

I hope that helps someone else through the winter slump" in whatever way it is affecting you.
God bless.
~M.S.