A Beautiful Image of Fatherhood

Jerimiah 3:4 "Have you not just called to me: ‘My Father, my friend from my youth,"

Psalm 27:10 "Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me."

Psalm 103:13 "As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;"

Zephaniah 3:17 (AMP) "The Lord your God is in the midst of you, a Mighty One, a Savior [Who saves]! He will rejoice over you with joy; He will rest [in silent satisfaction] and in His love He will be silent and make no mention [of past sins, or even recall them]; He will exult over you with singing."

Continuing my study on never-before-patriarchal societies and how the men in these view themselves and get along in the world there, and especially in honor of father's day, I offer an account of how the Lakotah of the High Plains traditionally approach fatherhood.
I have included a video done by one of the authors of the book, the late AIM leader, author, musician, and actor Russel Means, discussing this subject on his youtube channel.






According to Russell Means and Bayard Johnson in "If You've Forgotten the Names of the Clouds, You Have Lost Your Way," a woman's pregnancy is divided into quadmesters, not trimesters. Each of these quadmesters lasts three months, and the final quadmester ends three months after birth. The first three months, what we commonly call the first trimester, and the second, and the third, and finally the fourth quadmester which we have no Western equivalent for, all have somewhat different but important duties for the traditional Lakotah father.

The first duty of fatherhood begins when life begins - at conception. His job for the first three months is to get down to his wife's stomach and sing to the unborn baby. "He sings lullabies and other comforting songs, to let the growing child know of his care and love."

The second quadmester is very similar, but instead of just singing, he is supposed to do some regular talking as well. Before the second quadmester starts, the infant probably can hear the sounds. so one of the first sounds baby will ever hear is his/her father's voice, singing of his love and care for him or her.

The third tapers off more of the singing, and greatly emphasizes talking. The purpose of this quality time is to create and strengthen a bond between father and child.

Finally, when the baby is born, dad takes responsibility to  hold the baby and carry him or her around, and to change diapers and to comfort the baby when he or she cries. Only when the baby must eat or when baby particularly wants mommy or for mom to have some quality time too, does he give the baby to her in this quadmester. He is given paternity leave from his tribal duties outside the home for three months to care for his baby full-time.

"Every time the baby cries, it is the father's responsibility to take the newborn and console it. The father learns nurturing this way, and the entire village sees it, even the young children. Everyone sees and acknowledges the Father's vital role in his family and in his newborn's life."

Western science has found that it takes three months for the mother's body to return to normal. "So with the man taking on all the responsibilities during this period of time, and getting a small glimpse of what its like to be a mother, there is also the added benefit of the mother never falling prey to post par-partum depression or any of the other stresses of being overwhelmed by new motherhood and all the responsibilities associated with it." - Russel Means

I do not think there is really anything to add. His testimony of the beauty of fatherhood as celebrated in the traditional High Plains Lakotah way is so beautiful as to take one's breath away.

What can we, as a community, do to help support fathers in their efforts to bond with their children and assist their mates? What can we as employers, friends, relatives, church (or synagogue etc) attenders, new mothers, and neighbors do for the new father's in our lives? What can you, as a man and a new father, do to get closer to your child and assist the new mother in her initial adjustment? Are there special issues involved in the situation somewhere, and if so, what can we do to help? Just some thought to take away from this. Clearly, Lakotah dad's had the support and understanding of the community to be able to take time to bond with his child. It makes a huge difference for them both, too. It also positively impacted the entire community. What can we, as community members, do to help fathers in our part of the world?

Godspeed.

~Mother Star

The First Thing in the Morning

“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.” -Psalm 148:8

“Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.” Psalm 90:14



In “If You've Forgotten the Names of the Clouds, You Have Lost Your Way,” I read of the traditional Lakotah Man's morning ritual:
"In the traditional Lakotah way, the husband wakes at first light, in the early pre-dawn. He doesn't Speak, he doesn't wake his wife sleeping beside him. He goes outside and speaks the Lakotah Morning Prayer [below] with the Morning Star when it is the only star left in the dawn sky. Speaking the morning prayer clears the mind of all worries and anxiety, and makes a person aware of his place in the mosaic of life. It humbles you.”
Then he goes back in the tipi and combs his wife's hair. “Neither speaks a word. The husband's first interaction with his wife is a very sacred exchange. Hair is very important because it grows from the head... Hair holds memory. It is only cut when one is in mourning. This first exchange between a husband and wife is a caressing touch, on a sacred part of the body.” - Russel Means

Lakotah Morning Prayer [most of it anyway, its quite long]:
“Oh Holy Great Mystery, thank You for this day. Thank you for the Universe, our tabernacle, our house of Worship [“house of worship” probably added for clarity to modern readers].
Thank you for the Star People who watch over our water and all that lives and give us direction and place in life [navigational tool, changes in star patterns coincide with changes in seasonal water situation. Not sure if astrology is involved in this statement as well, or not.]
Thank You for the Moon, which also watches over the water and purifies the women naturally [they practiced NFP, and women noted their cycle by the 28 days of the lunar cycle. Menstruation seen as purifying. Modern studies show that NFP strengthens marital bonds].
Thank you for the water.
Thank you for our Sacred Grandmother, the Earth, mother of all living things, for they are our relatives [Lakotah place immense value on all life, human and non-human, and believe God made us all and we all came out of the earth, so we are all related in that way and interact/interdepend kind of like a family is supposed to, or maybe like their clan systems did*].
Thank you for the East wind, which brings the Morning Star which gives us the dawn of a new day, so that we will not repeat the mistakes of yesterday...
Thank you for the Black Tail Deer People [black tail deer, all creatures respected almost like other people in this society*], who live in the East and watch over us [Creation is viewed as a non-threatening, nurturing thing, and everything is sort of doing its part in taking care of each other and you, and that this is how things are supposed to be. There may be a reference to spiritism here too, but not necessarily.* "The Law of the Jungle: Kill or be killed" Was a white/European contrivance.]
Thank you for the South Wind, which brings warmth and generosity to our hearts, minds, bodies and spirits, as well as to our sacred Grandmother, the Earth and all of our relatives [all living things].
Thank you for the Owl People, who live in the South and watch over us [Encampments strategically placed to in relation to different kind of animals and birds I think, but am not 100% sure. Tribe was nomadic before reservation system]*.
Thank you for the West Wind, which gives us the lightening and thunder … which bring the cleansing and refreshing rains for our Sacred Grandmother, the Earth and all our relatives, and which brings cleanliness and refreshment to our hearts, minds, bodies and spirits.
Thank you for the Buffalo people, who live in the West and watch over us.
Thank you for the North Wind, which brings strong and enduring winds that give our sacred grandmother, The Earth, and all our relatives strength and endurance and brings strength and endurance to our hearts, minds, bodies and spirits.
Thank you for the Elk People, who live in the North and watch over us.
Thank you for all the winged beings of the air, for their teachings, their generosity and their sacrifices*. Thank you especially for the eagle, who flies the highest, sees the farthest, and is faithful to its mate.
Thank you for the four-leggeds, who give us so much and teach us so much, and for their sacrifices and sharing*.
And thank you especially for the buffalo, because as the buffalo goes, so go our people.
Thank you for all our relatives who crawl and swim and live within the earth, for their sacrifices and sharing and for their generosity*. Thank you for all their teachings and for everything that they give us*.
Thank you also for all the green, growing things of the earth. They teach us so much and give us so much. Thank you for their sacrifices and their sharing*.
Thank you especially for the tree with whispering leaves, for its strength and independence and for its teachings...
Thank you for the salmon and the other fishes, who teach us that it is our birthright to return to our home.
...
Thank you for the Sundance, which allows men an opportunity to comprehend the miracle of new life by sharing, in a small way, the miracle of childbirth**.
Thank you for the Crying for a Vision ceremony, which permits us to recognize a positive and independent road to follow through life**.
…
Thank you for the Throwing of the Ball ceremony, which brings the community together as one heart, mind, spirit, and body**.
…
Thank you for the ... sweet medicines produced by our green relatives who grow. Together they care for the infirm, the crippled and the sick.
Thank you for the soil, for the clouds, for the white blanket that comes over our Grandmother the Earth in time of cold.
Thank you for the sacred colors, together representing everything that is worthy in life, and individually teaching us so much**.
Thank you for the wind that travels in a circle [tornadoes], for it teaches us respect and wonder and awe [there doesn't seem to be any fear here, though].
I thank you for everything that is holy, and sacred and good.
We are all related. ”

* I will write another post on the natural phenomena God made that this is a reference to.

**I will probably write about this separately, its too much for a footnote and is really good.

If one starts the day like that, every single day, can you imagine how strong their heart will be, and how strong their marriage (if married)? What a beautiful beginning to the day the Lord gave us.
Even if you work third shift, and are headed for bed when the Morning star rises, start your afternoon like that for a while, as close as you can, and see what happens. :) I plan to try it myself, as well.
Take care and God bless ... My Relatives.

~Mother Star

This is a morning song, reportedly from my own tribe, not the Lakotah, but it is along the same lines, so
Enjoy!