Not everyone has time to read such long posts as the recent one about stopping child abuse. If someone is suspicious and feels a need to double check the information that made roused their suspicions about a person or situation, the post is not really "reference friendly either". Therefore, I am reposting the information in bits so people can get to it easier.
More Ways to Prevent Abuse:
Whether you suspect abuse or not, let kids in your life know you'll listen, and talk to them often. Acknowledge them. Pedophiles actively seek and are quick to pick up on a child who feels they have no one to talk to or has unmet emotional needs. They use these needs to get close and to win their trust and affection. Abusers do not exclusively pick on the already abused or kids who are lonely or bullied or feel they have no one to talk to, but those kids are easier to make connections to because they are needy. Children who have trusted adults and know they can talk to their parents are more likely to tell when they have been given things they shouldn't have, or offered opportunities to do what they aren't allowed to do. Pedophiles do those things (see above"How ot spot an abuser> "The rules do not apply to me") in order to find out who will tell. This is how they sort of thin the herd of kids they gather around themselves, and decide who to victimize. You may have heard they single out their victims, these are common ways they do so. (DO NOT blame yourself if you were victimized, after being given forbidden things you wanted and not telling, Do not blame kids/teens if this happens to them. This is never their fault).
Report abuse to the law if a child reports it to you. Even with the steps they take to "screen" victims and eliminate kids who are likely to tell, the average convicted child molester is told-on 5 times before any legal action is taken. Five times! That is just not right. If authorities were consistently notified the first time a child reports abuse, the other four who would eventually tell, plus all the ones who would not tell, might not be abused at all. The number of kids being abused could go down by at least 80%, based on that number! If you are told about abuse by a child, it is your responsibility to report it to authorities and/or to parents if a child tells you this. It may be illegal not to, depending where you live.
Here is the child abuse hotline's website if you need more information. https://www.childhelp.org/hotline/This is the number: 1-800 -4-A-CHILD that is 1-800-422-4453. That applies to Americans only, or course. If you do not know your countries hotline number (or if there is one) you should probably look that up, unless you truly neither have kids, nor know or ever see any.
Be careful at fairs, amusement parks and water parks, and other crowded, noisy places. One convicted pedophile interviewed for this research said he'd loved water parks. He got a lot of video plus a lot of "accidental" touching in the wave pool. He said they were some of the best places to go, for a pedophile. Beware, do not let kids go about unsupervised in crowded public places, and keep them very close to you in water parks. Stay right by them and be very watchful - be their bodyguard - if you do go into the wave-pool, but ideally you should probably avoid it.
Never let children go tot the public bathrooms by themselves, no matter how upset they get. This author experienced the consequences of that mistake first-hand, many years ago, and in a church the family only visited once.
While most instances of sexual abuse/assault are committed by someone the victim knows [also true of the sexual assault of adults], usually trust is built and a relationship developed with the parents, whether it is at a church or another social event/hub. That is still not 100% of cases. Asmall percntage of those who abuse children are doing so out of hate, not attraction, and it more like the common motivations for sexual assault of adults - control, dominance, perhaps cruelty. This type of act may also involve physical abuse and/or murder. This type of person may take kids by force from a mall or store, or assault them in the bathroom, They are indeed out there, and we all need to be aware.
All churches are still located in this fallen world and have fallen people in it of every possible sort, just like the rest of this planet. The doors are open to the public, anyone can open them and enter. Do not take chances with your kids.
Check the state police website for a list/map of the local registered sex offenders and become aware of convicted abusers in your area. Warn you family and others about them.
Thank you for reading. Please put what you'v learned here into practice
Godspeed.
~Mother Star.
About Me
- Mother Star
- Welcome to my humble abode. Feel free to sit down a while and warm yourself by my fire. I write here mainly to inspire, encourage, perhaps confront, to empower, and to change. If you leave with a lighter step, an answer to a question, really questioning long held ideas that may not be taking you where you need to go, or with a lot of new things to consider, I will have done my job. Please enjoy your stay. With love, ~Mother Star
Friday, June 26, 2015
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Review Preventing and Stopping Child Abuse, Part 3:
Not everyone has time to read such long posts as the recent one about stopping child abuse. If someone is suspicious and feels a need to double check the information that made roused their suspicions about a person or situation, the post is not really "reference friendly either". Therefore, I am reposting the information in bits so people can get to it easier.
Creating a Safe Church (Control Access, Monitoring Programs) Some adults should be kept as far from kids as possible. Controlling access is about keeping people like this away from children as much as possible.
Screen all volunteers - Background Checks, reference checks, etc. - While it is true that a person has to have been caught or reported sometime before this will turn anything up, it is sadly amazing how many incidents would be prevented if adults in responsible positions had done this!
Know where kids are at all times - pretty self-explanitory
Parents or guardians (but only parents or guardians) should be allowed to visit a class or daycare center, anytime with or without notice. Drop in sometime on your kids' daycare, if applicable.
Monitor all programs. Some people start new church programs without proper permission. DO NOT TOLERATE THIS! Make sure all programs go through approval process, no exceptions. It crates loopholes for example, if you do background checks but people start programs and such for your church or school without proper permission. They might not have been screened/ Also, an aware pastor or other supervisor might see red-flags in some "programs" for outreach or whatever that are created with these evil ulterior motives. You can't use your discernment for this without being on top of what is going on and making sure no one does these things without your permission.
Lock all unused rooms - probably self-explanitory. People can get behind closed doors with a kid whose trust they have somehow won if the unused doors are not locked! Only carefully screened people should have keys, and they shouldn't be unlocking these doors without good reasons.
Thank you for reading,and please take this seriously. It is part of being salt and light, to shelter innocents from devastation, especially within your own church or community.
Godspeed.
~Mother Star
Creating a Safe Church (Control Access, Monitoring Programs) Some adults should be kept as far from kids as possible. Controlling access is about keeping people like this away from children as much as possible.
Screen all volunteers - Background Checks, reference checks, etc. - While it is true that a person has to have been caught or reported sometime before this will turn anything up, it is sadly amazing how many incidents would be prevented if adults in responsible positions had done this!
Know where kids are at all times - pretty self-explanitory
Parents or guardians (but only parents or guardians) should be allowed to visit a class or daycare center, anytime with or without notice. Drop in sometime on your kids' daycare, if applicable.
Monitor all programs. Some people start new church programs without proper permission. DO NOT TOLERATE THIS! Make sure all programs go through approval process, no exceptions. It crates loopholes for example, if you do background checks but people start programs and such for your church or school without proper permission. They might not have been screened/ Also, an aware pastor or other supervisor might see red-flags in some "programs" for outreach or whatever that are created with these evil ulterior motives. You can't use your discernment for this without being on top of what is going on and making sure no one does these things without your permission.
Lock all unused rooms - probably self-explanitory. People can get behind closed doors with a kid whose trust they have somehow won if the unused doors are not locked! Only carefully screened people should have keys, and they shouldn't be unlocking these doors without good reasons.
Thank you for reading,and please take this seriously. It is part of being salt and light, to shelter innocents from devastation, especially within your own church or community.
Godspeed.
~Mother Star
Monday, June 22, 2015
Review Preventing Child Abuse Part 2: Knowing the Warning Signs of a Potential Abuser or Abusive Situation
Not everyone has time to read such long posts as the recent one about stopping child abuse. If someone is suspicious and feels a need to double check the information that made roused their suspicions about a person or situation, the post is not really "reference friendly either". Therefore, I am reposting the information in bits so people can get to it easier.
Five steps to preventing or stopping sexual abuse:
Know warning signs
Control access
Monitor Programs
Be Aware
Communicate concerns
How to spot a pedophile (Knowing Warning signs):
More excited about socializing with kids than adults.
May have house full of toys (especially concerning if they do not have any kids).
Always wanting to touch kids (not necessarily sexual touching).
Keeps bringing kids over all the time.
"The rules do not apply to me."
* encourages/lets kids do things that are actually not allowed
* Gives kids opportunity to engage in forbidden or risky activities or activities their parents do not approve of.
* Gives kids items their parents do not approve of them having.
* Generally acts like the rules do not apply to them. Taking pictures without asking, for example,
Taking kids into unauthorized areas or whatever else, not demonstrating customary respect for parental authority or approval processes.
* Gives gifts to children without asking parents permission first
Warning signs that a child has been/may have been sexually abused (Knowing Warning signs):
Sudden changes in behaviors
Grades drop
Outbursts of anger
How to approach a young person you suspect may be a victim
Talk with kids patiently, let stuff come out
Let kids know you'll listen to them
Talk to them often
Let kids know you'll listen and not blame them
Five steps to preventing or stopping sexual abuse:
Know warning signs
Control access
Monitor Programs
Be Aware
Communicate concerns
How to spot a pedophile (Knowing Warning signs):
More excited about socializing with kids than adults.
May have house full of toys (especially concerning if they do not have any kids).
Always wanting to touch kids (not necessarily sexual touching).
Keeps bringing kids over all the time.
"The rules do not apply to me."
* encourages/lets kids do things that are actually not allowed
* Gives kids opportunity to engage in forbidden or risky activities or activities their parents do not approve of.
* Gives kids items their parents do not approve of them having.
* Generally acts like the rules do not apply to them. Taking pictures without asking, for example,
Taking kids into unauthorized areas or whatever else, not demonstrating customary respect for parental authority or approval processes.
* Gives gifts to children without asking parents permission first
Warning signs that a child has been/may have been sexually abused (Knowing Warning signs):
Sudden changes in behaviors
Grades drop
Outbursts of anger
How to approach a young person you suspect may be a victim
Talk with kids patiently, let stuff come out
Let kids know you'll listen to them
Talk to them often
Let kids know you'll listen and not blame them
Sunday, June 21, 2015
Review: Preventing Child Abuse. Part 1: Myth Busting About Child Abuse
Not everyone has time to read such long posts as the recent one about stopping child abuse. If someone is suspicious and feels a need to double check the information that made roused their suspicions about a person or situation, the post is not really "reference friendly either". Therefore, I am reposting the information in bits so people can get to it easier.
According to the law enforcement and psychological authorities who helped design the Vertus program, 3% of the population are pedophiles - which means,[in the clinical world] they have a sexual orientation that is geared toward children, tis part of who they are - and one pedophile can abuse hundreds or even thousands of children in their lifetime. They often start very early, around the age of sexual awareness or in the early teen years, and they do not stop unless someone stops them. They can hurt more kids if they are allowed a position with authority over children/teens and have unsupervised access to them often - teaching, coaching, mentoring, scout leading, daycare work, youth workers, etc. A person with this "orientation" should never be allowed around children at all, but they will actively seek such positions out.
Myth Busting:
Myth 1. Children who report sexual abuse are usually lying.
Fact: Children rarely lie about sexual abuse. Accusations of abuse should always be taken very seriously. 5%, or less, of sexual abuse allegations are intentionally false.
Myth 2. People who were sexually abused will become/are more likely to become sexual abusers.
Fact: Those raised in physically or emotionally abusive homes are very likely to become abusive because that is the way they learned to behave; it's how they learned that a home should be run and discipline administered. Sexually abused people rarely become abusers later. There are many, many times more victims than perpetrators of sexual abuse. This is true of both males and females.
Myth 3. Priests become sexual abusers because of their vow of celibacy.
Fact: The percentage of priests accused and/or convicted of sexual abuse is the same as the percentage of accused and convicted pedophiles in the rest of the population. The vast majority of sexual abusers do not take a vow of celibacy and do engage in sexual acts with other adults. They have a preference for adults who look extremely young.
Myth 4. Most pedophiles are "gay," or have homosexual tendencies.
Fact: the majority of sexual abusers of both boys and girls are heterosexual men. They date, sleep with, and often marry women, with a strong preference for women who look like young girls or seem childlike in some ways. There is no correlation between SSAs/homosexual behavior with other consenting adults, and pedophilia.
Myth 4. You can always recognize a pedophile, they will seem strange and look and behave in an unusual, disturbing or deviant manner. They will be loners and weirdos on the edge of society. They will be poor, probably addicted to drugs. They live in ghettos and slums [this is a symptom of classism and/or racism btw].
Fact: Pedophiles come from every ethnic, religious, political and socio-economic, occupational, and cultural group. You cannot predict pedophilia by anyones income, race, occupation, tastes, or by their bad habits (or lack thereof) such as smoking, drinking, swearing, spitting, or even other criminal behaviors (or lack thereof) such as drug use. They behave normally in public, are usually extremely charming, persuasive, and can easily win people over. They are frequently everybody's favorite. This is why they are able to gain parents'/guardians'/care-givers' trust in order to access victims, and to manipulate victims into compliance and/or silence. They are often very well-liked and popular, and may be either male or female. They do not appear threatening.
Make sure you note that pedophiles may be male or female. Women can abuse too, both boys and girls.
Five steps to preventing or stopping sexual abuse:
Know warning signs
Control access
Monitor Programs
Be Aware
Communicate concerns
I will re-hash information on how to live out those five steps in future posts. One a day, probably.
According to the law enforcement and psychological authorities who helped design the Vertus program, 3% of the population are pedophiles - which means,[in the clinical world] they have a sexual orientation that is geared toward children, tis part of who they are - and one pedophile can abuse hundreds or even thousands of children in their lifetime. They often start very early, around the age of sexual awareness or in the early teen years, and they do not stop unless someone stops them. They can hurt more kids if they are allowed a position with authority over children/teens and have unsupervised access to them often - teaching, coaching, mentoring, scout leading, daycare work, youth workers, etc. A person with this "orientation" should never be allowed around children at all, but they will actively seek such positions out.
Myth Busting:
Myth 1. Children who report sexual abuse are usually lying.
Fact: Children rarely lie about sexual abuse. Accusations of abuse should always be taken very seriously. 5%, or less, of sexual abuse allegations are intentionally false.
Myth 2. People who were sexually abused will become/are more likely to become sexual abusers.
Fact: Those raised in physically or emotionally abusive homes are very likely to become abusive because that is the way they learned to behave; it's how they learned that a home should be run and discipline administered. Sexually abused people rarely become abusers later. There are many, many times more victims than perpetrators of sexual abuse. This is true of both males and females.
Myth 3. Priests become sexual abusers because of their vow of celibacy.
Fact: The percentage of priests accused and/or convicted of sexual abuse is the same as the percentage of accused and convicted pedophiles in the rest of the population. The vast majority of sexual abusers do not take a vow of celibacy and do engage in sexual acts with other adults. They have a preference for adults who look extremely young.
Myth 4. Most pedophiles are "gay," or have homosexual tendencies.
Fact: the majority of sexual abusers of both boys and girls are heterosexual men. They date, sleep with, and often marry women, with a strong preference for women who look like young girls or seem childlike in some ways. There is no correlation between SSAs/homosexual behavior with other consenting adults, and pedophilia.
Myth 4. You can always recognize a pedophile, they will seem strange and look and behave in an unusual, disturbing or deviant manner. They will be loners and weirdos on the edge of society. They will be poor, probably addicted to drugs. They live in ghettos and slums [this is a symptom of classism and/or racism btw].
Fact: Pedophiles come from every ethnic, religious, political and socio-economic, occupational, and cultural group. You cannot predict pedophilia by anyones income, race, occupation, tastes, or by their bad habits (or lack thereof) such as smoking, drinking, swearing, spitting, or even other criminal behaviors (or lack thereof) such as drug use. They behave normally in public, are usually extremely charming, persuasive, and can easily win people over. They are frequently everybody's favorite. This is why they are able to gain parents'/guardians'/care-givers' trust in order to access victims, and to manipulate victims into compliance and/or silence. They are often very well-liked and popular, and may be either male or female. They do not appear threatening.
Make sure you note that pedophiles may be male or female. Women can abuse too, both boys and girls.
Five steps to preventing or stopping sexual abuse:
Know warning signs
Control access
Monitor Programs
Be Aware
Communicate concerns
I will re-hash information on how to live out those five steps in future posts. One a day, probably.
Saturday, June 20, 2015
A Beautiful Image of Fatherhood
Jerimiah 3:4 "Have you not just called to me: ‘My Father, my friend from my youth,"
Psalm 27:10 "Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me."
Psalm 103:13 "As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;"
Zephaniah 3:17 (AMP) "The Lord your God is in the midst of you, a Mighty One, a Savior [Who saves]! He will rejoice over you with joy; He will rest [in silent satisfaction] and in His love He will be silent and make no mention [of past sins, or even recall them]; He will exult over you with singing."
Continuing my study on never-before-patriarchal societies and how the men in these view themselves and get along in the world there, and especially in honor of father's day, I offer an account of how the Lakotah of the High Plains traditionally approach fatherhood.
I have included a video done by one of the authors of the book, the late AIM leader, author, musician, and actor Russel Means, discussing this subject on his youtube channel.
According to Russell Means and Bayard Johnson in "If You've Forgotten the Names of the Clouds, You Have Lost Your Way," a woman's pregnancy is divided into quadmesters, not trimesters. Each of these quadmesters lasts three months, and the final quadmester ends three months after birth. The first three months, what we commonly call the first trimester, and the second, and the third, and finally the fourth quadmester which we have no Western equivalent for, all have somewhat different but important duties for the traditional Lakotah father.
The first duty of fatherhood begins when life begins - at conception. His job for the first three months is to get down to his wife's stomach and sing to the unborn baby. "He sings lullabies and other comforting songs, to let the growing child know of his care and love."
The second quadmester is very similar, but instead of just singing, he is supposed to do some regular talking as well. Before the second quadmester starts, the infant probably can hear the sounds. so one of the first sounds baby will ever hear is his/her father's voice, singing of his love and care for him or her.
The third tapers off more of the singing, and greatly emphasizes talking. The purpose of this quality time is to create and strengthen a bond between father and child.
Finally, when the baby is born, dad takes responsibility to hold the baby and carry him or her around, and to change diapers and to comfort the baby when he or she cries. Only when the baby must eat or when baby particularly wants mommy or for mom to have some quality time too, does he give the baby to her in this quadmester. He is given paternity leave from his tribal duties outside the home for three months to care for his baby full-time.
"Every time the baby cries, it is the father's responsibility to take the newborn and console it. The father learns nurturing this way, and the entire village sees it, even the young children. Everyone sees and acknowledges the Father's vital role in his family and in his newborn's life."
Western science has found that it takes three months for the mother's body to return to normal. "So with the man taking on all the responsibilities during this period of time, and getting a small glimpse of what its like to be a mother, there is also the added benefit of the mother never falling prey to post par-partum depression or any of the other stresses of being overwhelmed by new motherhood and all the responsibilities associated with it." - Russel Means
I do not think there is really anything to add. His testimony of the beauty of fatherhood as celebrated in the traditional High Plains Lakotah way is so beautiful as to take one's breath away.
What can we, as a community, do to help support fathers in their efforts to bond with their children and assist their mates? What can we as employers, friends, relatives, church (or synagogue etc) attenders, new mothers, and neighbors do for the new father's in our lives? What can you, as a man and a new father, do to get closer to your child and assist the new mother in her initial adjustment? Are there special issues involved in the situation somewhere, and if so, what can we do to help? Just some thought to take away from this. Clearly, Lakotah dad's had the support and understanding of the community to be able to take time to bond with his child. It makes a huge difference for them both, too. It also positively impacted the entire community. What can we, as community members, do to help fathers in our part of the world?
Godspeed.
~Mother Star
Psalm 27:10 "Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me."
Psalm 103:13 "As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;"
Zephaniah 3:17 (AMP) "The Lord your God is in the midst of you, a Mighty One, a Savior [Who saves]! He will rejoice over you with joy; He will rest [in silent satisfaction] and in His love He will be silent and make no mention [of past sins, or even recall them]; He will exult over you with singing."
Continuing my study on never-before-patriarchal societies and how the men in these view themselves and get along in the world there, and especially in honor of father's day, I offer an account of how the Lakotah of the High Plains traditionally approach fatherhood.
I have included a video done by one of the authors of the book, the late AIM leader, author, musician, and actor Russel Means, discussing this subject on his youtube channel.
According to Russell Means and Bayard Johnson in "If You've Forgotten the Names of the Clouds, You Have Lost Your Way," a woman's pregnancy is divided into quadmesters, not trimesters. Each of these quadmesters lasts three months, and the final quadmester ends three months after birth. The first three months, what we commonly call the first trimester, and the second, and the third, and finally the fourth quadmester which we have no Western equivalent for, all have somewhat different but important duties for the traditional Lakotah father.
The first duty of fatherhood begins when life begins - at conception. His job for the first three months is to get down to his wife's stomach and sing to the unborn baby. "He sings lullabies and other comforting songs, to let the growing child know of his care and love."
The second quadmester is very similar, but instead of just singing, he is supposed to do some regular talking as well. Before the second quadmester starts, the infant probably can hear the sounds. so one of the first sounds baby will ever hear is his/her father's voice, singing of his love and care for him or her.
The third tapers off more of the singing, and greatly emphasizes talking. The purpose of this quality time is to create and strengthen a bond between father and child.
Finally, when the baby is born, dad takes responsibility to hold the baby and carry him or her around, and to change diapers and to comfort the baby when he or she cries. Only when the baby must eat or when baby particularly wants mommy or for mom to have some quality time too, does he give the baby to her in this quadmester. He is given paternity leave from his tribal duties outside the home for three months to care for his baby full-time.
"Every time the baby cries, it is the father's responsibility to take the newborn and console it. The father learns nurturing this way, and the entire village sees it, even the young children. Everyone sees and acknowledges the Father's vital role in his family and in his newborn's life."
Western science has found that it takes three months for the mother's body to return to normal. "So with the man taking on all the responsibilities during this period of time, and getting a small glimpse of what its like to be a mother, there is also the added benefit of the mother never falling prey to post par-partum depression or any of the other stresses of being overwhelmed by new motherhood and all the responsibilities associated with it." - Russel Means
I do not think there is really anything to add. His testimony of the beauty of fatherhood as celebrated in the traditional High Plains Lakotah way is so beautiful as to take one's breath away.
What can we, as a community, do to help support fathers in their efforts to bond with their children and assist their mates? What can we as employers, friends, relatives, church (or synagogue etc) attenders, new mothers, and neighbors do for the new father's in our lives? What can you, as a man and a new father, do to get closer to your child and assist the new mother in her initial adjustment? Are there special issues involved in the situation somewhere, and if so, what can we do to help? Just some thought to take away from this. Clearly, Lakotah dad's had the support and understanding of the community to be able to take time to bond with his child. It makes a huge difference for them both, too. It also positively impacted the entire community. What can we, as community members, do to help fathers in our part of the world?
Godspeed.
~Mother Star
Monday, June 15, 2015
The First Thing in the Morning
“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.” -Psalm 148:8
“Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.” Psalm 90:14
In “If You've Forgotten the Names of the Clouds, You Have Lost Your Way,” I read of the traditional Lakotah Man's morning ritual:
"In the traditional Lakotah way, the husband wakes at first light, in the early pre-dawn. He doesn't Speak, he doesn't wake his wife sleeping beside him. He goes outside and speaks the Lakotah Morning Prayer [below] with the Morning Star when it is the only star left in the dawn sky. Speaking the morning prayer clears the mind of all worries and anxiety, and makes a person aware of his place in the mosaic of life. It humbles you.”
Then he goes back in the tipi and combs his wife's hair. “Neither speaks a word. The husband's first interaction with his wife is a very sacred exchange. Hair is very important because it grows from the head... Hair holds memory. It is only cut when one is in mourning. This first exchange between a husband and wife is a caressing touch, on a sacred part of the body.” - Russel Means
Lakotah Morning Prayer [most of it anyway, its quite long]:
“Oh Holy Great Mystery, thank You for this day. Thank you for the Universe, our tabernacle, our house of Worship [“house of worship” probably added for clarity to modern readers].
Thank you for the Star People who watch over our water and all that lives and give us direction and place in life [navigational tool, changes in star patterns coincide with changes in seasonal water situation. Not sure if astrology is involved in this statement as well, or not.]
Thank You for the Moon, which also watches over the water and purifies the women naturally [they practiced NFP, and women noted their cycle by the 28 days of the lunar cycle. Menstruation seen as purifying. Modern studies show that NFP strengthens marital bonds].
Thank you for the water.
Thank you for our Sacred Grandmother, the Earth, mother of all living things, for they are our relatives [Lakotah place immense value on all life, human and non-human, and believe God made us all and we all came out of the earth, so we are all related in that way and interact/interdepend kind of like a family is supposed to, or maybe like their clan systems did*].
Thank you for the East wind, which brings the Morning Star which gives us the dawn of a new day, so that we will not repeat the mistakes of yesterday...
Thank you for the Black Tail Deer People [black tail deer, all creatures respected almost like other people in this society*], who live in the East and watch over us [Creation is viewed as a non-threatening, nurturing thing, and everything is sort of doing its part in taking care of each other and you, and that this is how things are supposed to be. There may be a reference to spiritism here too, but not necessarily.* "The Law of the Jungle: Kill or be killed" Was a white/European contrivance.]
Thank you for the South Wind, which brings warmth and generosity to our hearts, minds, bodies and spirits, as well as to our sacred Grandmother, the Earth and all of our relatives [all living things].
Thank you for the Owl People, who live in the South and watch over us [Encampments strategically placed to in relation to different kind of animals and birds I think, but am not 100% sure. Tribe was nomadic before reservation system]*.
Thank you for the West Wind, which gives us the lightening and thunder … which bring the cleansing and refreshing rains for our Sacred Grandmother, the Earth and all our relatives, and which brings cleanliness and refreshment to our hearts, minds, bodies and spirits.
Thank you for the Buffalo people, who live in the West and watch over us.
Thank you for the North Wind, which brings strong and enduring winds that give our sacred grandmother, The Earth, and all our relatives strength and endurance and brings strength and endurance to our hearts, minds, bodies and spirits.
Thank you for the Elk People, who live in the North and watch over us.
Thank you for all the winged beings of the air, for their teachings, their generosity and their sacrifices*. Thank you especially for the eagle, who flies the highest, sees the farthest, and is faithful to its mate.
Thank you for the four-leggeds, who give us so much and teach us so much, and for their sacrifices and sharing*.
And thank you especially for the buffalo, because as the buffalo goes, so go our people.
Thank you for all our relatives who crawl and swim and live within the earth, for their sacrifices and sharing and for their generosity*. Thank you for all their teachings and for everything that they give us*.
Thank you also for all the green, growing things of the earth. They teach us so much and give us so much. Thank you for their sacrifices and their sharing*.
Thank you especially for the tree with whispering leaves, for its strength and independence and for its teachings...
Thank you for the salmon and the other fishes, who teach us that it is our birthright to return to our home.
...
Thank you for the Sundance, which allows men an opportunity to comprehend the miracle of new life by sharing, in a small way, the miracle of childbirth**.
Thank you for the Crying for a Vision ceremony, which permits us to recognize a positive and independent road to follow through life**.
…
Thank you for the Throwing of the Ball ceremony, which brings the community together as one heart, mind, spirit, and body**.
…
Thank you for the ... sweet medicines produced by our green relatives who grow. Together they care for the infirm, the crippled and the sick.
Thank you for the soil, for the clouds, for the white blanket that comes over our Grandmother the Earth in time of cold.
Thank you for the sacred colors, together representing everything that is worthy in life, and individually teaching us so much**.
Thank you for the wind that travels in a circle [tornadoes], for it teaches us respect and wonder and awe [there doesn't seem to be any fear here, though].
I thank you for everything that is holy, and sacred and good.
We are all related. ”
* I will write another post on the natural phenomena God made that this is a reference to.
**I will probably write about this separately, its too much for a footnote and is really good.
If one starts the day like that, every single day, can you imagine how strong their heart will be, and how strong their marriage (if married)? What a beautiful beginning to the day the Lord gave us.
Even if you work third shift, and are headed for bed when the Morning star rises, start your afternoon like that for a while, as close as you can, and see what happens. :) I plan to try it myself, as well.
Take care and God bless ... My Relatives.
~Mother Star
This is a morning song, reportedly from my own tribe, not the Lakotah, but it is along the same lines, so
Enjoy!
“Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.” Psalm 90:14
In “If You've Forgotten the Names of the Clouds, You Have Lost Your Way,” I read of the traditional Lakotah Man's morning ritual:
"In the traditional Lakotah way, the husband wakes at first light, in the early pre-dawn. He doesn't Speak, he doesn't wake his wife sleeping beside him. He goes outside and speaks the Lakotah Morning Prayer [below] with the Morning Star when it is the only star left in the dawn sky. Speaking the morning prayer clears the mind of all worries and anxiety, and makes a person aware of his place in the mosaic of life. It humbles you.”
Then he goes back in the tipi and combs his wife's hair. “Neither speaks a word. The husband's first interaction with his wife is a very sacred exchange. Hair is very important because it grows from the head... Hair holds memory. It is only cut when one is in mourning. This first exchange between a husband and wife is a caressing touch, on a sacred part of the body.” - Russel Means
Lakotah Morning Prayer [most of it anyway, its quite long]:
“Oh Holy Great Mystery, thank You for this day. Thank you for the Universe, our tabernacle, our house of Worship [“house of worship” probably added for clarity to modern readers].
Thank you for the Star People who watch over our water and all that lives and give us direction and place in life [navigational tool, changes in star patterns coincide with changes in seasonal water situation. Not sure if astrology is involved in this statement as well, or not.]
Thank You for the Moon, which also watches over the water and purifies the women naturally [they practiced NFP, and women noted their cycle by the 28 days of the lunar cycle. Menstruation seen as purifying. Modern studies show that NFP strengthens marital bonds].
Thank you for the water.
Thank you for our Sacred Grandmother, the Earth, mother of all living things, for they are our relatives [Lakotah place immense value on all life, human and non-human, and believe God made us all and we all came out of the earth, so we are all related in that way and interact/interdepend kind of like a family is supposed to, or maybe like their clan systems did*].
Thank you for the East wind, which brings the Morning Star which gives us the dawn of a new day, so that we will not repeat the mistakes of yesterday...
Thank you for the Black Tail Deer People [black tail deer, all creatures respected almost like other people in this society*], who live in the East and watch over us [Creation is viewed as a non-threatening, nurturing thing, and everything is sort of doing its part in taking care of each other and you, and that this is how things are supposed to be. There may be a reference to spiritism here too, but not necessarily.* "The Law of the Jungle: Kill or be killed" Was a white/European contrivance.]
Thank you for the South Wind, which brings warmth and generosity to our hearts, minds, bodies and spirits, as well as to our sacred Grandmother, the Earth and all of our relatives [all living things].
Thank you for the Owl People, who live in the South and watch over us [Encampments strategically placed to in relation to different kind of animals and birds I think, but am not 100% sure. Tribe was nomadic before reservation system]*.
Thank you for the West Wind, which gives us the lightening and thunder … which bring the cleansing and refreshing rains for our Sacred Grandmother, the Earth and all our relatives, and which brings cleanliness and refreshment to our hearts, minds, bodies and spirits.
Thank you for the Buffalo people, who live in the West and watch over us.
Thank you for the North Wind, which brings strong and enduring winds that give our sacred grandmother, The Earth, and all our relatives strength and endurance and brings strength and endurance to our hearts, minds, bodies and spirits.
Thank you for the Elk People, who live in the North and watch over us.
Thank you for all the winged beings of the air, for their teachings, their generosity and their sacrifices*. Thank you especially for the eagle, who flies the highest, sees the farthest, and is faithful to its mate.
Thank you for the four-leggeds, who give us so much and teach us so much, and for their sacrifices and sharing*.
And thank you especially for the buffalo, because as the buffalo goes, so go our people.
Thank you for all our relatives who crawl and swim and live within the earth, for their sacrifices and sharing and for their generosity*. Thank you for all their teachings and for everything that they give us*.
Thank you also for all the green, growing things of the earth. They teach us so much and give us so much. Thank you for their sacrifices and their sharing*.
Thank you especially for the tree with whispering leaves, for its strength and independence and for its teachings...
Thank you for the salmon and the other fishes, who teach us that it is our birthright to return to our home.
...
Thank you for the Sundance, which allows men an opportunity to comprehend the miracle of new life by sharing, in a small way, the miracle of childbirth**.
Thank you for the Crying for a Vision ceremony, which permits us to recognize a positive and independent road to follow through life**.
…
Thank you for the Throwing of the Ball ceremony, which brings the community together as one heart, mind, spirit, and body**.
…
Thank you for the ... sweet medicines produced by our green relatives who grow. Together they care for the infirm, the crippled and the sick.
Thank you for the soil, for the clouds, for the white blanket that comes over our Grandmother the Earth in time of cold.
Thank you for the sacred colors, together representing everything that is worthy in life, and individually teaching us so much**.
Thank you for the wind that travels in a circle [tornadoes], for it teaches us respect and wonder and awe [there doesn't seem to be any fear here, though].
I thank you for everything that is holy, and sacred and good.
We are all related. ”
* I will write another post on the natural phenomena God made that this is a reference to.
**I will probably write about this separately, its too much for a footnote and is really good.
If one starts the day like that, every single day, can you imagine how strong their heart will be, and how strong their marriage (if married)? What a beautiful beginning to the day the Lord gave us.
Even if you work third shift, and are headed for bed when the Morning star rises, start your afternoon like that for a while, as close as you can, and see what happens. :) I plan to try it myself, as well.
Take care and God bless ... My Relatives.
~Mother Star
This is a morning song, reportedly from my own tribe, not the Lakotah, but it is along the same lines, so
Enjoy!
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
Things I Did Not Used to Know About the Rosary
It may be news to some that when the Rosary is
prayed, with all its “Hail Mary's,” the meditations for it are
various events in the Life of Jesus. Your mind is supposed to be on
Jesus, not Mary. Father
John told our class that the words are not really the point. They
words are spoken to help you shut everything else out and focus on
“The mysteries” which are key events in the life of Jesus from
conception to Resurrection. The Hail Mary's are indeed inane
repetitions, and that is because “Hail Mary's” aren't
what the rosary supposed to be about. You're supposed to concentrate
on “The Mysteries,” imagining like you were standing there seeing
it, as vivid as possible, to make it really real to you. You start out saying the creed, like what the band Third Day put to music once, the object of the
Rosary is to nourish one's faith in Jesus.
In light of that, I sort of understand why there are so many Hail Mary;s and the prayers to God are fewer. The ones to God are not supposed to be white noise you make to drown out your actual surroundings, and the Hail Mary's are. I still find it more effective, most of the time, to just say the verses that tell the story I am trying to imagine, though, or the Glory Be: “Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end, amen.” That prayer is included in the normal Rosary practice too, but not as much as the Hail Mary.
The original Catholic rosary was, in fact, recitation of Scripture. They said all of the Psalms. It went through a lot of changes over time. Even after it was pretty much in its present form, for a long time the mysteries stopped at the crucifixion, and within the last couple hundred years one of the Popes added “The Glorious Mysteries” about the resurrection and the coming of the Holy spirit and stuff. He was pointed out that Without the resurrection, all the rest would be powerless and meaningless. He was like, "Why are we stopping there?” I think that was a really good move. I expect the reason is was stopped at the crucifixion for so long is because it started as a recitation of the Psalms. There are 150 psalms. That 150 Psalms became 150 "Hail Marys", and there were 15 "mysteries" with ten "Hail Mary's" a piece.
The words coming out your mouth are the same, but the Mysteries you Meditate on are what will vary. They Mysteries are in groups of five,
"The Joyful Mysteries - The Annunciation, which is when the Angel appears to Mary and lets her know God's plan,and she agrees to answer the call. The Visitation when Mary visited her cousin who was pregnant with John the Baptist and Elizabeth prophesied that Mary's baby was the Lord, The Nativity when Jesus is born in Bethlehem, the The Presentation at the temple when the prophetess Anna and the prophet Simon basically said "This is the Messiah, I can die in peace now that I've seen him.", and the Finding of Jesus in the Temple, when He said,"Didn't you know I needed to be about my Father's business?"
Then there are the Sorrowful Mysteries: The Agony in the Garden (Gethsemani), The Scourging at the Pillar, The Crowing with Thorns, The Carrying of the Cross, and The Crucifixion, When he was nailed and hung until He died.
Glorious Mysteries: The Resurrection, The Ascension, the Coming of the Holy Spirit, The Assumption (a Marian Dogma event), and the Coronation (which has to do with the Catholic interpretation of Revelation 12:1), In total, the Joyful Mysteries, The Sorrowful Mysteries,and the Glorious Mysteries made 150 Hail Mary's, which when they first started doing the Rosary, was the 150 Psalms.
They added the five Lumious Mysteries,which are optional in 2002 according to the suggestion of Pope (Saint) John Paul II.
The Luminous Mysteries are: The Baptism of the Lord, when the Holy spirit came down in the form of a dove and the voice came from heaven saying Jesus was God's son. The Wedding at Cana when He turned water into wine. The proclamation of the Kingdom, when He began his ministry and went out saying "Repent, the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand,"and went around healing the sick and the demonized. The Transfiguration, And The Institution of the Eucharist, when he said,at Passover "This is my body... this is my blood..."
Therefore now, if you go through all of the Mysteries in one sitting, which would mean going around all the Rosary beads four times, you will now say 200 Hail Marys. Usually, you only do 50 though, because most people just go through one set of five mysteries every time they say it.
In light of that, I sort of understand why there are so many Hail Mary;s and the prayers to God are fewer. The ones to God are not supposed to be white noise you make to drown out your actual surroundings, and the Hail Mary's are. I still find it more effective, most of the time, to just say the verses that tell the story I am trying to imagine, though, or the Glory Be: “Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end, amen.” That prayer is included in the normal Rosary practice too, but not as much as the Hail Mary.
The original Catholic rosary was, in fact, recitation of Scripture. They said all of the Psalms. It went through a lot of changes over time. Even after it was pretty much in its present form, for a long time the mysteries stopped at the crucifixion, and within the last couple hundred years one of the Popes added “The Glorious Mysteries” about the resurrection and the coming of the Holy spirit and stuff. He was pointed out that Without the resurrection, all the rest would be powerless and meaningless. He was like, "Why are we stopping there?” I think that was a really good move. I expect the reason is was stopped at the crucifixion for so long is because it started as a recitation of the Psalms. There are 150 psalms. That 150 Psalms became 150 "Hail Marys", and there were 15 "mysteries" with ten "Hail Mary's" a piece.
The words coming out your mouth are the same, but the Mysteries you Meditate on are what will vary. They Mysteries are in groups of five,
"The Joyful Mysteries - The Annunciation, which is when the Angel appears to Mary and lets her know God's plan,and she agrees to answer the call. The Visitation when Mary visited her cousin who was pregnant with John the Baptist and Elizabeth prophesied that Mary's baby was the Lord, The Nativity when Jesus is born in Bethlehem, the The Presentation at the temple when the prophetess Anna and the prophet Simon basically said "This is the Messiah, I can die in peace now that I've seen him.", and the Finding of Jesus in the Temple, when He said,"Didn't you know I needed to be about my Father's business?"
Then there are the Sorrowful Mysteries: The Agony in the Garden (Gethsemani), The Scourging at the Pillar, The Crowing with Thorns, The Carrying of the Cross, and The Crucifixion, When he was nailed and hung until He died.
Glorious Mysteries: The Resurrection, The Ascension, the Coming of the Holy Spirit, The Assumption (a Marian Dogma event), and the Coronation (which has to do with the Catholic interpretation of Revelation 12:1), In total, the Joyful Mysteries, The Sorrowful Mysteries,and the Glorious Mysteries made 150 Hail Mary's, which when they first started doing the Rosary, was the 150 Psalms.
They added the five Lumious Mysteries,which are optional in 2002 according to the suggestion of Pope (Saint) John Paul II.
The Luminous Mysteries are: The Baptism of the Lord, when the Holy spirit came down in the form of a dove and the voice came from heaven saying Jesus was God's son. The Wedding at Cana when He turned water into wine. The proclamation of the Kingdom, when He began his ministry and went out saying "Repent, the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand,"and went around healing the sick and the demonized. The Transfiguration, And The Institution of the Eucharist, when he said,at Passover "This is my body... this is my blood..."
Therefore now, if you go through all of the Mysteries in one sitting, which would mean going around all the Rosary beads four times, you will now say 200 Hail Marys. Usually, you only do 50 though, because most people just go through one set of five mysteries every time they say it.
So that is what the Rosary is about, and all those Hail Mary's. I personally, do not use the Hail Mary very much, even when I say the Rosary, but that is a story for another day.
I will say, on the note of personal testimony, that I do have a greater sense of God's presence in my life and usually do better at resisting various besetting sins in my life when I pray the Rosary fairly frequently, like about every day.
Godspeed.
~Mother Star
I will say, on the note of personal testimony, that I do have a greater sense of God's presence in my life and usually do better at resisting various besetting sins in my life when I pray the Rosary fairly frequently, like about every day.
Godspeed.
~Mother Star
Monday, June 1, 2015
Everyone's Responsibility, Pt 1.:Notes from the Anti-Molestation Workshop at St.James/St Patrick Parish
It is everyone's responsibility to make sure that our next generation is safe. Everyone's. all of have a roll to play, but too few of us are aware of the threats, or know how to address them. This series is meant to help change that.
In order to volunteer in the Springfield, IL diocese in any capacity, be it in the schools, the choir, handing out food baskets, being a greeter in the churches - anything - you have to take a class called Protecting God's Children. The class is to raise awareness of the dangers of child abuse, in the church and out, how to respond when you suspect abuse or when a child reports it to you, what to look for in a potential abuser, warning signs to watch for in a child who may be getting abused sexually.
Really, everybody needs to know this, regardless of if they have kids or not. After reading another blog about the Duggar situation, and hearing some very disgusting sugar-coating of the situation by hardcore fans of the show on the radio, I have decided to do a series on the problem of child abuse, in the church (The entire church, Catholic, and Protestant and Orthodox alike) and out of it. Today, I am just going to pass along my notes from the class. The program they use is called Vertus, it was put together by order of the Vatican. Another class participant from somewhere in the country found a way to get footage from the DVDs and put some of the main points in a video. I downloaded it and put it here for the benefit of whoever.
The Springfield, IL diocese has had an awareness program and screening for its volunteers and employees -all employees, including clergy - already developed and in place since before the abuse scandal hit. Someone involved in child abuse awareness programs worked part time in the Diocese office, and shared what she learned with co-workers, including our instructor. This individual suggested to Bishop Thomas John that we should start such a program in the Diocese. Thankfully, he listened and agreed and put action behind his words. Most dioceses in America did not have any such program at that time at all. After the Vatican mandated that everybody have one, and leading US Catholic Bishops called in law enforcement, criminal psychologists and just all the best experts in the field they could find, for assistance with this Vertus project, and it was put together with the authorities, clinicians, and clergy working together. The Springfield diocese adopted the Vertus program soon after it came out.
How big is this problem?? In the several years our instructor has spent as an abuse awareness educator (in the church and out of it) she has spoken to at least 300 people and out of these, 45 and counting have told her they were abused or know someone was abused or legally charged with abuse. That's just the ones who said something to her about it.
In several US states, she has encountered public school employees stating that their workplace had a custom of "passing the trash" - i.e., if a teacher is accused of abuse, they are merely reassigned. One appalling example she gave was a pedophile was accused in a middle-class area school, reassigned to a poor and predominantly Hispanic school. After accusations were made there, he was reassigned to a school for the disabled! Teachers can still get another teaching job and teachers unions will protect them from exposure and prosecution and protect their educator's license. You can Google or DuckDuckGo this: "passing the trash teachers." [here are several links I found, in case anybody is still not sure that this is not just a Catholic or Christian problem.
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/03/27/passing-the-trash-deals-allow-bad-teachers-and-coaches-to-become-mobile-molestors/
http://watchdog.org/113092/u-s-house-passes-bill-prevent-passing-trash/
http://lancasteronline.com/opinion/end-passing-the-trash-of-child-abusing-teachers/article_7981ca82-1f35-11e4-beb2-0017a43b2370.html
http://mediatrackers.org/pennsylvania/2013/10/25/passing-trash-bills-popular-teacher-union-leaders
Some of these articles are from PA, but our instructor has not been there, and she has still heard about "Passing the trash" a lot from public school employees. It's disgusting. Apparently PA journalists are covering it somewhat, which is a good thing, whereas in other areas they are not, which is dreadful.]
There have been high ranking officials in other churches, she mentioned one from the Episcopal church, where a "passing the trash" type of situation also occurred, and there is usually limited local news coverage, and often there is no coverage at all. She sees these things because of her job, but the general public does not. According to the law enforcement and psychological authorities who helped design the Vertus program, 3% of the population are pedophiles - which means,[in the clinical world] they have a sexual orientation that is geared toward children, tis part of who they are - and one pedophile can abuse hundreds or even thousands of children in their lifetime. They often start very early, around the age of sexual awareness or in the early teen years, and they do not stop unless someone stops them. They can hurt more kids if they are allowed a position with authority over children/teens and have unsupervised access to them often - teaching, coaching, mentoring, scout leading, daycare work, youth workers, etc. A person with this "orientation" should never be allowed around children at all, but they will actively seek such positions out.
Myth Busting:
Myth 1. Children who report sexual abuse are usually lying.
Fact: Children rarely lie about sexual abuse. Accusations of abuse should always be taken very seriously. 5%, or less, of sexual abuse allegations are intentionally false.
Myth 2. People who were sexually abused will become/are more likely to become sexual abusers.
Fact: Those raised in physically or emotionally abusive homes are very likely to become abusive because that is the way they learned to behave; it's how they learned that a home should be run and discipline administered. Sexually abused people rarely become abusers later. There are many, many times more victims than perpetrators of sexual abuse. This is true of both males and females.
Myth 3. Priests become sexual abusers because of their vow of celibacy.
Fact: The percentage of priests accused and/or convicted of sexual abuse is the same as the percentage of accused and convicted pedophiles in the rest of the population. The vast majority of sexual abusers do not take a vow of celibacy and do engage in sexual acts with other adults. They have a preference for adults who look extremely young.
Myth 4. Most pedophiles are "gay," or have homosexual tendencies.
Fact: the majority of sexual abusers of both boys and girls are heterosexual men. They date, sleep with, and often marry women, with a strong preference for women who look like young girls or seem childlike in some ways. There is no correlation between SSAs/homosexual behavior with other consenting adults, and pedophilia.
Myth 4. You can always recognize a pedophile, they will seem strange and look and behave in an unusual, disturbing or deviant manner. They will be loners and weirdos on the edge of society. They will be poor, probably addicted to drugs. They live in ghettos and slums [this is a symptom of classism and/or racism btw].
Fact: Pedophiles come from every ethnic, religious, political and socio-economic, occupational, and cultural group. You cannot predict pedophilia by anyones income, race, occupation, tastes, or by their bad habits (or lack thereof) such as smoking, drinking, swearing, spitting, or even other criminal behaviors (or lack thereof) such as drug use. They behave normally in public, are usually extremely charming, persuasive, and can easily win people over. They are frequently everybody's favorite. This is why they are able to gain parents'/guardians'/care-givers' trust in order to access victims, and to manipulate victims into compliance and/or silence. They are often very well-liked and popular, and may be either male or female. They do not appear threatening.
Make sure you note that pedophiles may be male or female. Women can abuse too, both boys and girls.
Five steps to preventing or stopping sexual abuse:
Know warning signs
Control access
Monitor Programs
Be Aware
Communicate concerns
How to spot a pedophile (Knowing Warning signs):
More excited about socializing with kids than adults.
May have house full of toys (especially concerning if they do not have any kids).
Always wanting to touch kids (not necessarily sexual touching).
Keeps bringing kids over all the time.
"The rules do not apply to me."
* encourages/lets kids do things that are actually not allowed
* Gives kids opportunity to engage in forbidden or risky activities or activities their parents do not approve of.
* Gives kids items their parents do not approve of them having.
* Generally acts like the rules do not apply to them. Taking pictures without asking, for example,
Taking kids into unauthorized areas or whatever else, not demonstrating customary respect for parental authority or approval processes.
* Gives gifts to children without asking parents permission first
Warning signs that a child has been/may have been sexually abused (Knowing Warning signs):
Sudden changes in behaviors
Grades drop
Outbursts of anger
How to approach a young person you suspect may be a victim
Talk with kids patiently, let stuff come out
Let kids know you'll listen to them
Talk to them often
Let kids know you'll listen and not blame them
Creating a Safe Church (Control Access, Monitoring Programs) Some adults should be kept as far from kids as possible. Controlling access is about keeping people like this away from children as much as possible.
Screen all volunteers - Background Checks, reference checks, etc.
Know where kids are at all times
Parents (but only parents) should be allowed to visit a class or daycare center.
Monitor all programs. Some people start new church programs without proper permission. DO NOT TOLERATE THIS! Make sure all programs go through approval process, no exceptions.
Lock all unused rooms
Keeping Your Kids Safe
* Realize that, as a parent, you have a right to visit your child's class or daycare center any time. Make sure your child's daycare center or class allows this, and that they follow procedures for making sure it really is you coming to visit. Drop in on the class or daycare unexpectedly sometimes. If you ever experience resistance to this, regardless of the excuse given, use a different daycare and advise people to avoid that one.
* DO NOT put a computer in a child or teen's bedroom
* Be on your kids facebook and routinely look at all their friends' profiles and photos.
* DO NOT allow kids to post personal photos online under any circumstances, nor post pictures of them on yours. If you use the 'net to share these photos with geographically distant loved ones, then make sure you use the "custom" setting and share the pics only with those people. Remove any location tags. Don't share any information about your kids online. Pedophiles love the web, they use fb and children's sites to find victims. They will be looking at your baseball/fishing, whatever photos the wrong way, possibly compiling a scrapbook with your kids in it. If they know your location, any activities or clubs your kids are in and get any clues about the is schedule (they'll be tracking it), your kids' interests, things they get annoyed about (bait, rapport-building, and bonding material)... disaster in the making! None of us want to think we have any of these people in our circles, but we all are just as likely to as anyone, sadly. They act normal. Never take chances!
* Know where your children are at all times
Communicating Concerns
Communicate your concerns to other adults. E.g. you see someone taking pictures of kids and/or
learn someone has a photo album full of other people's kids/minors. It's weird. Say something to someone about it.
Trust your instincts - if something seems off, say something to the person or their supervisor. "What are you doing?" Excuse me, why are you..." You aren't accusing them of being pedophiles, you are checking out what is going on. An innocent person has no reason to object. This lets pedophiles know that they are being watched.
Confront people who think the rules do not apply to them. E.g. If someone gives your kids things without asking you, stop them and tell them you would appreciate if they would ask you first, even if you are acquainted/know them. If someone is handing out unauthorized presents to kids, ask them why, and if they have asked the kids' parents. Tell the pastor or some other person in charge. Say something to the parents if you can. You get the idea.
ANYONE can report suspected abuse with the child abuse hotline, and as long as you made the report in good faith, you cannot get in trouble. Anonymous reports are also ok.
Always report abuse if a child reports it to you.
More Ways to Prevent Abuse:
Whether you suspect abuse or not, let kids in your life know you'll listen, and talk to them often. Acknowledge them. Pedophiles actively seek and are quick to pick up on a child who feels they have no one to talk to or has unmet emotional needs. They use these needs to get close and to win their trust and affection. Abusers do not exclusively pick on the already abused or kids who are lonely or bullied or feel they have no one to talk to, but those kids are easier to make connections to because they are needy. Children who have trusted adults and know they can talk to their parents are more likely to tell when they have been given things they shouldn't have, or offered opportunities to do what they aren't allowed to do. Pedophiles do those things (see above"How ot spot an abuser> "The rules do not apply to me") in order to find out who will tell. This is how they sort of thin the herd of kids they gather around themselves, and decide who to victimize. You may have heard they single out their victims, these are common ways they do so. (DO NOT blame yourself if you were victimized, after being given forbidden things you wanted and not telling, Do not blame kids/teens if this happens to them. This is never their fault).
Report abuse to the law if a child reports it to you. Even with the steps they take to "screen" victims and eliminate kids who are likely to tell, the average convicted child molester is told-on 5 times before any legal action is taken. Five times! That is just not right. If authorities were consistently notified the first time a child reports abuse, the other four who would eventually tell, plus all the ones who would not tell, might not be abused at all. The number of kids being abused could go down by at least 80%, based on that number! If you are told about abuse by a child, it is your responsibility to report it to authorities and/or to parents if a child tells you this. It may be illegal not to, depending where you live.
Here is the child abuse hotline's website if you need more information. https://www.childhelp.org/hotline/This is the number: 1-800 -4-A-CHILD that is 1-800-422-4453. That applies to Americans only, or course. If you do not know your countries hotline number (or if there is one) you should probably look that up, unless you truly neither have kids, nor know or ever see any.
Be careful at fairs, amusement parks and water parks, and other crowded, noisy places. One convicted pedophile interviewed for this research said he'd loved water parks. He got a lot of video plus a lot of "accidental" touching in the wave pool. He said they were some of the best places to go, for a pedophile. Beware, do not let kids go about unsupervised in crowded public places, and keep them very close to you in water parks. Stay right by them and be very watchful - be their bodyguard - if you do go into the wave-pool, but ideally you should probably avoid it.
Never let children go tot the public bathrooms by themselves, no matter how upset they get. This author experienced the consequences of that mistake first-hand, many years ago, and in a church the family only visited once.
While most instances of sexual abuse/assault are committed by someone the victim knows [also true of the sexual assault of adults], usually trust is built and a relationship developed with the parents, whether it is at a church or another social event/hub. That is still not 100% of cases. Asmall percntage of those who abuse children are doing so out of hate, not attraction, and it more like the common motivations for sexual assault of adults - control, dominance, perhaps cruelty. This type of act may also involve physical abuse and/or murder. This type of person may take kids by force from a mall or store, or assault them in the bathroom, They are indeed out there, and we all need to be aware.
All churches are still located in this fallen world and have fallen people in it of every possible sort, just like the rest of this planet. The doors are open to the public, anyone can open them and enter. Do not take chances with your kids.
Check the state police website for a list/map of the local registered sex offenders and become aware of convicted abusers in your area. Warn you family and others about them.
I expect to do a blog on navigating the websites for the sex offender registries in this series. Look for it within a week or so.
Godspeed.
~Mother Star
In order to volunteer in the Springfield, IL diocese in any capacity, be it in the schools, the choir, handing out food baskets, being a greeter in the churches - anything - you have to take a class called Protecting God's Children. The class is to raise awareness of the dangers of child abuse, in the church and out, how to respond when you suspect abuse or when a child reports it to you, what to look for in a potential abuser, warning signs to watch for in a child who may be getting abused sexually.
Really, everybody needs to know this, regardless of if they have kids or not. After reading another blog about the Duggar situation, and hearing some very disgusting sugar-coating of the situation by hardcore fans of the show on the radio, I have decided to do a series on the problem of child abuse, in the church (The entire church, Catholic, and Protestant and Orthodox alike) and out of it. Today, I am just going to pass along my notes from the class. The program they use is called Vertus, it was put together by order of the Vatican. Another class participant from somewhere in the country found a way to get footage from the DVDs and put some of the main points in a video. I downloaded it and put it here for the benefit of whoever.
The Springfield, IL diocese has had an awareness program and screening for its volunteers and employees -all employees, including clergy - already developed and in place since before the abuse scandal hit. Someone involved in child abuse awareness programs worked part time in the Diocese office, and shared what she learned with co-workers, including our instructor. This individual suggested to Bishop Thomas John that we should start such a program in the Diocese. Thankfully, he listened and agreed and put action behind his words. Most dioceses in America did not have any such program at that time at all. After the Vatican mandated that everybody have one, and leading US Catholic Bishops called in law enforcement, criminal psychologists and just all the best experts in the field they could find, for assistance with this Vertus project, and it was put together with the authorities, clinicians, and clergy working together. The Springfield diocese adopted the Vertus program soon after it came out.
How big is this problem?? In the several years our instructor has spent as an abuse awareness educator (in the church and out of it) she has spoken to at least 300 people and out of these, 45 and counting have told her they were abused or know someone was abused or legally charged with abuse. That's just the ones who said something to her about it.
In several US states, she has encountered public school employees stating that their workplace had a custom of "passing the trash" - i.e., if a teacher is accused of abuse, they are merely reassigned. One appalling example she gave was a pedophile was accused in a middle-class area school, reassigned to a poor and predominantly Hispanic school. After accusations were made there, he was reassigned to a school for the disabled! Teachers can still get another teaching job and teachers unions will protect them from exposure and prosecution and protect their educator's license. You can Google or DuckDuckGo this: "passing the trash teachers." [here are several links I found, in case anybody is still not sure that this is not just a Catholic or Christian problem.
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/03/27/passing-the-trash-deals-allow-bad-teachers-and-coaches-to-become-mobile-molestors/
http://watchdog.org/113092/u-s-house-passes-bill-prevent-passing-trash/
http://lancasteronline.com/opinion/end-passing-the-trash-of-child-abusing-teachers/article_7981ca82-1f35-11e4-beb2-0017a43b2370.html
http://mediatrackers.org/pennsylvania/2013/10/25/passing-trash-bills-popular-teacher-union-leaders
Some of these articles are from PA, but our instructor has not been there, and she has still heard about "Passing the trash" a lot from public school employees. It's disgusting. Apparently PA journalists are covering it somewhat, which is a good thing, whereas in other areas they are not, which is dreadful.]
There have been high ranking officials in other churches, she mentioned one from the Episcopal church, where a "passing the trash" type of situation also occurred, and there is usually limited local news coverage, and often there is no coverage at all. She sees these things because of her job, but the general public does not. According to the law enforcement and psychological authorities who helped design the Vertus program, 3% of the population are pedophiles - which means,[in the clinical world] they have a sexual orientation that is geared toward children, tis part of who they are - and one pedophile can abuse hundreds or even thousands of children in their lifetime. They often start very early, around the age of sexual awareness or in the early teen years, and they do not stop unless someone stops them. They can hurt more kids if they are allowed a position with authority over children/teens and have unsupervised access to them often - teaching, coaching, mentoring, scout leading, daycare work, youth workers, etc. A person with this "orientation" should never be allowed around children at all, but they will actively seek such positions out.
Myth Busting:
Myth 1. Children who report sexual abuse are usually lying.
Fact: Children rarely lie about sexual abuse. Accusations of abuse should always be taken very seriously. 5%, or less, of sexual abuse allegations are intentionally false.
Myth 2. People who were sexually abused will become/are more likely to become sexual abusers.
Fact: Those raised in physically or emotionally abusive homes are very likely to become abusive because that is the way they learned to behave; it's how they learned that a home should be run and discipline administered. Sexually abused people rarely become abusers later. There are many, many times more victims than perpetrators of sexual abuse. This is true of both males and females.
Myth 3. Priests become sexual abusers because of their vow of celibacy.
Fact: The percentage of priests accused and/or convicted of sexual abuse is the same as the percentage of accused and convicted pedophiles in the rest of the population. The vast majority of sexual abusers do not take a vow of celibacy and do engage in sexual acts with other adults. They have a preference for adults who look extremely young.
Myth 4. Most pedophiles are "gay," or have homosexual tendencies.
Fact: the majority of sexual abusers of both boys and girls are heterosexual men. They date, sleep with, and often marry women, with a strong preference for women who look like young girls or seem childlike in some ways. There is no correlation between SSAs/homosexual behavior with other consenting adults, and pedophilia.
Myth 4. You can always recognize a pedophile, they will seem strange and look and behave in an unusual, disturbing or deviant manner. They will be loners and weirdos on the edge of society. They will be poor, probably addicted to drugs. They live in ghettos and slums [this is a symptom of classism and/or racism btw].
Fact: Pedophiles come from every ethnic, religious, political and socio-economic, occupational, and cultural group. You cannot predict pedophilia by anyones income, race, occupation, tastes, or by their bad habits (or lack thereof) such as smoking, drinking, swearing, spitting, or even other criminal behaviors (or lack thereof) such as drug use. They behave normally in public, are usually extremely charming, persuasive, and can easily win people over. They are frequently everybody's favorite. This is why they are able to gain parents'/guardians'/care-givers' trust in order to access victims, and to manipulate victims into compliance and/or silence. They are often very well-liked and popular, and may be either male or female. They do not appear threatening.
Make sure you note that pedophiles may be male or female. Women can abuse too, both boys and girls.
Five steps to preventing or stopping sexual abuse:
Know warning signs
Control access
Monitor Programs
Be Aware
Communicate concerns
How to spot a pedophile (Knowing Warning signs):
More excited about socializing with kids than adults.
May have house full of toys (especially concerning if they do not have any kids).
Always wanting to touch kids (not necessarily sexual touching).
Keeps bringing kids over all the time.
"The rules do not apply to me."
* encourages/lets kids do things that are actually not allowed
* Gives kids opportunity to engage in forbidden or risky activities or activities their parents do not approve of.
* Gives kids items their parents do not approve of them having.
* Generally acts like the rules do not apply to them. Taking pictures without asking, for example,
Taking kids into unauthorized areas or whatever else, not demonstrating customary respect for parental authority or approval processes.
* Gives gifts to children without asking parents permission first
Warning signs that a child has been/may have been sexually abused (Knowing Warning signs):
Sudden changes in behaviors
Grades drop
Outbursts of anger
How to approach a young person you suspect may be a victim
Talk with kids patiently, let stuff come out
Let kids know you'll listen to them
Talk to them often
Let kids know you'll listen and not blame them
Creating a Safe Church (Control Access, Monitoring Programs) Some adults should be kept as far from kids as possible. Controlling access is about keeping people like this away from children as much as possible.
Screen all volunteers - Background Checks, reference checks, etc.
Know where kids are at all times
Parents (but only parents) should be allowed to visit a class or daycare center.
Monitor all programs. Some people start new church programs without proper permission. DO NOT TOLERATE THIS! Make sure all programs go through approval process, no exceptions.
Lock all unused rooms
Keeping Your Kids Safe
* Realize that, as a parent, you have a right to visit your child's class or daycare center any time. Make sure your child's daycare center or class allows this, and that they follow procedures for making sure it really is you coming to visit. Drop in on the class or daycare unexpectedly sometimes. If you ever experience resistance to this, regardless of the excuse given, use a different daycare and advise people to avoid that one.
* DO NOT put a computer in a child or teen's bedroom
* Be on your kids facebook and routinely look at all their friends' profiles and photos.
* DO NOT allow kids to post personal photos online under any circumstances, nor post pictures of them on yours. If you use the 'net to share these photos with geographically distant loved ones, then make sure you use the "custom" setting and share the pics only with those people. Remove any location tags. Don't share any information about your kids online. Pedophiles love the web, they use fb and children's sites to find victims. They will be looking at your baseball/fishing, whatever photos the wrong way, possibly compiling a scrapbook with your kids in it. If they know your location, any activities or clubs your kids are in and get any clues about the is schedule (they'll be tracking it), your kids' interests, things they get annoyed about (bait, rapport-building, and bonding material)... disaster in the making! None of us want to think we have any of these people in our circles, but we all are just as likely to as anyone, sadly. They act normal. Never take chances!
* Know where your children are at all times
Communicating Concerns
Communicate your concerns to other adults. E.g. you see someone taking pictures of kids and/or
learn someone has a photo album full of other people's kids/minors. It's weird. Say something to someone about it.
Trust your instincts - if something seems off, say something to the person or their supervisor. "What are you doing?" Excuse me, why are you..." You aren't accusing them of being pedophiles, you are checking out what is going on. An innocent person has no reason to object. This lets pedophiles know that they are being watched.
Confront people who think the rules do not apply to them. E.g. If someone gives your kids things without asking you, stop them and tell them you would appreciate if they would ask you first, even if you are acquainted/know them. If someone is handing out unauthorized presents to kids, ask them why, and if they have asked the kids' parents. Tell the pastor or some other person in charge. Say something to the parents if you can. You get the idea.
ANYONE can report suspected abuse with the child abuse hotline, and as long as you made the report in good faith, you cannot get in trouble. Anonymous reports are also ok.
Always report abuse if a child reports it to you.
More Ways to Prevent Abuse:
Whether you suspect abuse or not, let kids in your life know you'll listen, and talk to them often. Acknowledge them. Pedophiles actively seek and are quick to pick up on a child who feels they have no one to talk to or has unmet emotional needs. They use these needs to get close and to win their trust and affection. Abusers do not exclusively pick on the already abused or kids who are lonely or bullied or feel they have no one to talk to, but those kids are easier to make connections to because they are needy. Children who have trusted adults and know they can talk to their parents are more likely to tell when they have been given things they shouldn't have, or offered opportunities to do what they aren't allowed to do. Pedophiles do those things (see above"How ot spot an abuser> "The rules do not apply to me") in order to find out who will tell. This is how they sort of thin the herd of kids they gather around themselves, and decide who to victimize. You may have heard they single out their victims, these are common ways they do so. (DO NOT blame yourself if you were victimized, after being given forbidden things you wanted and not telling, Do not blame kids/teens if this happens to them. This is never their fault).
Report abuse to the law if a child reports it to you. Even with the steps they take to "screen" victims and eliminate kids who are likely to tell, the average convicted child molester is told-on 5 times before any legal action is taken. Five times! That is just not right. If authorities were consistently notified the first time a child reports abuse, the other four who would eventually tell, plus all the ones who would not tell, might not be abused at all. The number of kids being abused could go down by at least 80%, based on that number! If you are told about abuse by a child, it is your responsibility to report it to authorities and/or to parents if a child tells you this. It may be illegal not to, depending where you live.
Here is the child abuse hotline's website if you need more information. https://www.childhelp.org/hotline/This is the number: 1-800 -4-A-CHILD that is 1-800-422-4453. That applies to Americans only, or course. If you do not know your countries hotline number (or if there is one) you should probably look that up, unless you truly neither have kids, nor know or ever see any.
Be careful at fairs, amusement parks and water parks, and other crowded, noisy places. One convicted pedophile interviewed for this research said he'd loved water parks. He got a lot of video plus a lot of "accidental" touching in the wave pool. He said they were some of the best places to go, for a pedophile. Beware, do not let kids go about unsupervised in crowded public places, and keep them very close to you in water parks. Stay right by them and be very watchful - be their bodyguard - if you do go into the wave-pool, but ideally you should probably avoid it.
Never let children go tot the public bathrooms by themselves, no matter how upset they get. This author experienced the consequences of that mistake first-hand, many years ago, and in a church the family only visited once.
While most instances of sexual abuse/assault are committed by someone the victim knows [also true of the sexual assault of adults], usually trust is built and a relationship developed with the parents, whether it is at a church or another social event/hub. That is still not 100% of cases. Asmall percntage of those who abuse children are doing so out of hate, not attraction, and it more like the common motivations for sexual assault of adults - control, dominance, perhaps cruelty. This type of act may also involve physical abuse and/or murder. This type of person may take kids by force from a mall or store, or assault them in the bathroom, They are indeed out there, and we all need to be aware.
All churches are still located in this fallen world and have fallen people in it of every possible sort, just like the rest of this planet. The doors are open to the public, anyone can open them and enter. Do not take chances with your kids.
Check the state police website for a list/map of the local registered sex offenders and become aware of convicted abusers in your area. Warn you family and others about them.
I expect to do a blog on navigating the websites for the sex offender registries in this series. Look for it within a week or so.
Godspeed.
~Mother Star
What I Have Learned About Mary
What I have learned about Mary.
Mary was, of course, Jesus' mom. One of the worst things that can happen to someone is to lose
their kids and in her case, she didn't just lose him, she saw him
crucified. That's a horrible way to die. She really went through a lot in her walk with God and in her obedience to God's call to be Jesus' mom.
Therefore, I can believe the doctrine that Mary was assumed
into heaven like Elijah and Enoch. Having him grow
inside her would have created quite a bond, plus going through seeing
the crucifixion. Neither Elijah
nor Enoch could have suffered quite like her, or had opportunity to
be that close to the Lord and develop so unique a relationship with the Lord as
Mary. Therefore, once I think about it, I would actually find it harder to believe that she
wasn't Assumed into heaven than that she was. There is no grave, anymore than there is a
record of her rapture. Its something one has to just pray about
and decide what they believe. Either way, its taken on
faith. Once I considered it, it takes more faith for me to continue to believe
she wasn't. The only thing challenging about it for me is
that it is a totally new concept to me.
As to the perpetual virginity, I didn't
accept that for a long time because for a Jewish woman, that
would have been like God giving somebody some radical "special grace" never to
pray again! Sex in marriage is a Miztvah, in Judaism. Its like a
sacrament is to Catholics and Lutherans and Orthodox and all the
other liturgical churches... Its connected to holiness and is a part of participating in the life of faith - if one is married. Then my
friend Mike who is an ordained Protestant minister and was studying the Orthodox
church told me about a book called the Evangelion. Its written by James,
the (step) Brother of Jesus. The book had used to be bound with it, and the Orthodox church still holds it sacred, although its not canonized as actual scripture as far as I know. Its Sacred in that it gives important historical insights and context and eyewitness testimony of things like the virgin birth and such. "Sola Scriptura" - scripture alone, was a Luther thing. The older churches all have something called sacred tradition and other things that they use to interpret the bible, and count them as Sacred along with the Bible, since it's kind of hard to understand scripture correctly without it. James wrote that Mary was indeed a virgin when
Jesus was conceived and born, and also for the rest of her life.
James' mom had died. His dad was very old, and did not feel he should remarry since he was so old,
especially not someone as young as Mary. He married her because it became very clear that God wanted him to, long story short.
The reason Jesus had to get somebody else, specifically John, to look after his mom after he went to the cross was because she had no other kids. He was her only son, her only child. He had step-siblings though. “Thy mother and thy brethren are looking for you” it was Mary and His step siblings. James probably wrote all that to give eyewitness testimony that Jesus was indeed born of a virgin and such like. None of the gospels are eye-witness accounts of that particular part. James said that Jesus was virgin-born, and that Mary stayed a virgin all her life. Mike says James hinted that his dad couldn't actually do anything to change that... Joseph was extremely uncomfortable with the idea of sleeping with her because God himself had lived inside her. That plus he was very old.
James' writings about family life with Jesus were typically bound with the Bible, I guess. In his research, Mike says he learned that Catholicism tossed James' accounts of Jesus upbringing and his family stuff when the King James Bible was made. There was a compromise between Catholics and Protestants on the KJV Bible since King James wanted to make a Bible everyone would accept in order to unify his country. Protestants wanted the Evangelion of James removed because it supported doctrine that they did not maintain. Mike never found anything challenging its authorship, just “We don't want it in there because it supports doctrine that we don't have.” Mike didn't believe in the perpetual virginity either, until he read that book. So now I do actually believe in it too.
Mike has since started a ministry that includes Orthodox, Messianic Jews, Catholics, and Protestant Christians and gets everybody working together to reach out. He says some pentecostal ministers he knows try and explain their discomfort saying, “The perpetual virginity isn't in the Bible.” Mike's like, “They basically used to be. They were removed in order to prevent anything support those doctrines. Its not that the doctrines were made-up with no support or apostolic testimony. People changed the doctrines, then removed the texts that supported the beliefs that they didn't accept.” I'm annoyed actually, because for example, atheists on facebook made an anti-Christian cartoon, showing a fundamentalist tearing into aspects of Darwin's theory that aren't rock-solid-proven, then they are asked if Jesus was born of a virgin and if so how do they know. They said, smiling, "Yes, absolutely, because somebody is said to have written something to confirm it, that we don't have." The truth is, we did have it and some people (Orthodox churches) still do. it was thrown out of the Catholic church because of denominationalism, basically. The Vatican and King James and the Protestant leaders were trying to stop rioting and war between Christians. Its totally embarrassing and shameful, but that's basically how it unfolded as far as I can so far tell. :( Now, without the apostolic account that the doctrine is based on, catholic teaching on the subject has Joseph, of an unknown age, living in celibacy with his wife in order to support God's call on her life to stay pure forever in honor of Jesus having been carried in her body.
I can see bits of the truth in there, like Joseph was wigged out because God had lived in her womb, and he felt he might be defiling, possibly, if he consummated the marriage. But in the absence of the foundation, the story has gotten a bit warped. They removed it to compromise with Protestants though. Of course you'll not likely hear that from catholic catechists, but that's what happened as far as I know now.
My thought is, Joseph married Mary out of submission to the will of God, not on his own will. He was old and extremely nervous about being with her after she carried God in her body. He submitted to God to be Mary and Jesus' protector and provider, and thus supported Mary's calling to be Jesus' mother. If God wished for her to stay a virgin forever, He picked the right guy for that, too. The East and West remain divided partly because of those minute differences in their doctrines, but I don't think they're incompatible. Joseph submitted to God to marry Mary, it was God's will not his. The call of God on Mary's life plus possibly Joseph's great age, brought it about that she was a virgin all her life, like the Lord intended. Mike says she was in a religious vocation at the temple, much like what we call a nun, but for some reason it was decided that she should marry, and when the will of God was sought as to who it should be, it became obvious that God wanted Joseph for the job. If there were vows involved in that vocation she had previously been in, she never had to break them... Long story short, I see the two doctrines as very compatible. The Orthodox church has a document of apostolic authorship to back its story, the Catholic church doesn't. So I am inclined to side with the East if an argument arises but really, I don't see them as being incompatible.
It was James' testimony, relayed to me through my friend, that made me believe in the perpetual virginity.
The reason Jesus had to get somebody else, specifically John, to look after his mom after he went to the cross was because she had no other kids. He was her only son, her only child. He had step-siblings though. “Thy mother and thy brethren are looking for you” it was Mary and His step siblings. James probably wrote all that to give eyewitness testimony that Jesus was indeed born of a virgin and such like. None of the gospels are eye-witness accounts of that particular part. James said that Jesus was virgin-born, and that Mary stayed a virgin all her life. Mike says James hinted that his dad couldn't actually do anything to change that... Joseph was extremely uncomfortable with the idea of sleeping with her because God himself had lived inside her. That plus he was very old.
James' writings about family life with Jesus were typically bound with the Bible, I guess. In his research, Mike says he learned that Catholicism tossed James' accounts of Jesus upbringing and his family stuff when the King James Bible was made. There was a compromise between Catholics and Protestants on the KJV Bible since King James wanted to make a Bible everyone would accept in order to unify his country. Protestants wanted the Evangelion of James removed because it supported doctrine that they did not maintain. Mike never found anything challenging its authorship, just “We don't want it in there because it supports doctrine that we don't have.” Mike didn't believe in the perpetual virginity either, until he read that book. So now I do actually believe in it too.
Mike has since started a ministry that includes Orthodox, Messianic Jews, Catholics, and Protestant Christians and gets everybody working together to reach out. He says some pentecostal ministers he knows try and explain their discomfort saying, “The perpetual virginity isn't in the Bible.” Mike's like, “They basically used to be. They were removed in order to prevent anything support those doctrines. Its not that the doctrines were made-up with no support or apostolic testimony. People changed the doctrines, then removed the texts that supported the beliefs that they didn't accept.” I'm annoyed actually, because for example, atheists on facebook made an anti-Christian cartoon, showing a fundamentalist tearing into aspects of Darwin's theory that aren't rock-solid-proven, then they are asked if Jesus was born of a virgin and if so how do they know. They said, smiling, "Yes, absolutely, because somebody is said to have written something to confirm it, that we don't have." The truth is, we did have it and some people (Orthodox churches) still do. it was thrown out of the Catholic church because of denominationalism, basically. The Vatican and King James and the Protestant leaders were trying to stop rioting and war between Christians. Its totally embarrassing and shameful, but that's basically how it unfolded as far as I can so far tell. :( Now, without the apostolic account that the doctrine is based on, catholic teaching on the subject has Joseph, of an unknown age, living in celibacy with his wife in order to support God's call on her life to stay pure forever in honor of Jesus having been carried in her body.
I can see bits of the truth in there, like Joseph was wigged out because God had lived in her womb, and he felt he might be defiling, possibly, if he consummated the marriage. But in the absence of the foundation, the story has gotten a bit warped. They removed it to compromise with Protestants though. Of course you'll not likely hear that from catholic catechists, but that's what happened as far as I know now.
My thought is, Joseph married Mary out of submission to the will of God, not on his own will. He was old and extremely nervous about being with her after she carried God in her body. He submitted to God to be Mary and Jesus' protector and provider, and thus supported Mary's calling to be Jesus' mother. If God wished for her to stay a virgin forever, He picked the right guy for that, too. The East and West remain divided partly because of those minute differences in their doctrines, but I don't think they're incompatible. Joseph submitted to God to marry Mary, it was God's will not his. The call of God on Mary's life plus possibly Joseph's great age, brought it about that she was a virgin all her life, like the Lord intended. Mike says she was in a religious vocation at the temple, much like what we call a nun, but for some reason it was decided that she should marry, and when the will of God was sought as to who it should be, it became obvious that God wanted Joseph for the job. If there were vows involved in that vocation she had previously been in, she never had to break them... Long story short, I see the two doctrines as very compatible. The Orthodox church has a document of apostolic authorship to back its story, the Catholic church doesn't. So I am inclined to side with the East if an argument arises but really, I don't see them as being incompatible.
It was James' testimony, relayed to me through my friend, that made me believe in the perpetual virginity.
So, I have still come a long way from my previous position on the Marian dogmas, and for awhile I embraced all four, and at the moment I won't rule the fourth out, but I am not really on board with it that much.
~Mother Star
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)