A Beautiful Image of Fatherhood

Jerimiah 3:4 "Have you not just called to me: ‘My Father, my friend from my youth,"

Psalm 27:10 "Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me."

Psalm 103:13 "As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;"

Zephaniah 3:17 (AMP) "The Lord your God is in the midst of you, a Mighty One, a Savior [Who saves]! He will rejoice over you with joy; He will rest [in silent satisfaction] and in His love He will be silent and make no mention [of past sins, or even recall them]; He will exult over you with singing."

Continuing my study on never-before-patriarchal societies and how the men in these view themselves and get along in the world there, and especially in honor of father's day, I offer an account of how the Lakotah of the High Plains traditionally approach fatherhood.
I have included a video done by one of the authors of the book, the late AIM leader, author, musician, and actor Russel Means, discussing this subject on his youtube channel.






According to Russell Means and Bayard Johnson in "If You've Forgotten the Names of the Clouds, You Have Lost Your Way," a woman's pregnancy is divided into quadmesters, not trimesters. Each of these quadmesters lasts three months, and the final quadmester ends three months after birth. The first three months, what we commonly call the first trimester, and the second, and the third, and finally the fourth quadmester which we have no Western equivalent for, all have somewhat different but important duties for the traditional Lakotah father.

The first duty of fatherhood begins when life begins - at conception. His job for the first three months is to get down to his wife's stomach and sing to the unborn baby. "He sings lullabies and other comforting songs, to let the growing child know of his care and love."

The second quadmester is very similar, but instead of just singing, he is supposed to do some regular talking as well. Before the second quadmester starts, the infant probably can hear the sounds. so one of the first sounds baby will ever hear is his/her father's voice, singing of his love and care for him or her.

The third tapers off more of the singing, and greatly emphasizes talking. The purpose of this quality time is to create and strengthen a bond between father and child.

Finally, when the baby is born, dad takes responsibility to  hold the baby and carry him or her around, and to change diapers and to comfort the baby when he or she cries. Only when the baby must eat or when baby particularly wants mommy or for mom to have some quality time too, does he give the baby to her in this quadmester. He is given paternity leave from his tribal duties outside the home for three months to care for his baby full-time.

"Every time the baby cries, it is the father's responsibility to take the newborn and console it. The father learns nurturing this way, and the entire village sees it, even the young children. Everyone sees and acknowledges the Father's vital role in his family and in his newborn's life."

Western science has found that it takes three months for the mother's body to return to normal. "So with the man taking on all the responsibilities during this period of time, and getting a small glimpse of what its like to be a mother, there is also the added benefit of the mother never falling prey to post par-partum depression or any of the other stresses of being overwhelmed by new motherhood and all the responsibilities associated with it." - Russel Means

I do not think there is really anything to add. His testimony of the beauty of fatherhood as celebrated in the traditional High Plains Lakotah way is so beautiful as to take one's breath away.

What can we, as a community, do to help support fathers in their efforts to bond with their children and assist their mates? What can we as employers, friends, relatives, church (or synagogue etc) attenders, new mothers, and neighbors do for the new father's in our lives? What can you, as a man and a new father, do to get closer to your child and assist the new mother in her initial adjustment? Are there special issues involved in the situation somewhere, and if so, what can we do to help? Just some thought to take away from this. Clearly, Lakotah dad's had the support and understanding of the community to be able to take time to bond with his child. It makes a huge difference for them both, too. It also positively impacted the entire community. What can we, as community members, do to help fathers in our part of the world?

Godspeed.

~Mother Star